Lunching With My Gay Crush
Luckily I don't twirl around in my chair while giggling all day long, though that does sound fun. Gay Crush and I chat throughout the day. Not so much when Turkey's around, or when GC is busy, but enough that we know some basics about each other's lives. For example, I know GC has an equally pretty boyfriend who he lives with. GC knows if Turkey's not around and I'm not busy, he can chat with me about the Bravo shows.
About two weeks ago GC and I went to lunch. How we came to have a lunch date really took me by surprise. I was reading a review of a nearby restaurant and happened to ask GC if he'd gone there. He hadn't and when I said I hadn't either but was intrigued by it, GC asked, "Wanna go?" I replied, "With you? OH MY GOD YES!" Okay, no I didn't, but that's totally what happened in my head. In actuality, I shrugged and said sure.
It took us forever to actually go. CG travels a lot, so he's out of the office at least one week each month. I wanted to go on a day when Turkey was out of the office, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting back in exactly 60 minutes. Then I was sick for about a month and wanted to wait to go until I was better, so I'd be able to taste food. Then GC got busy with work and wasn't taking lunches.
Finally though, all the stars aligned and CG asked me one Monday, "Hey, are we doing our lunch this week? How about tomorrow?" So it was tomorrow. I picked out my least ugly outfit. I dug out my Clinique Bonus Time free lipstick. I took the advice my cousin's husband gave me over a decade ago and read the newspaper, stockpiling topics we could talk about. I even double-checked the menu online to make sure there were still things on there that I like. I was prepared.
We walked over and got seated. Immediately, there was an awkward happening. Gay Crush is a bit of a lush. Not at work of course, but he totally goes home and boozes it up with his partner while they have dinner each night. He asked if I'd be getting something to drink. The thing is, I only ever drink water in restaurants. GC seemed to want to get a glass of wine or something. I told him I didn't mind if he got wine. "Oh, you'll get one too?" It felt awkward telling him, "Oh, no, I just meant it's not an alcoholic thing with my not drinking - you should totally feel free to drink if you want to." Yeah. He had water. Apparently people feel weird boozing it up if the person they're with isn't also boozing it up.
Luckily, we managed to get past this, and Gay Crush asked if I wanted to share a side dish with him. Sharing food? How intimate, of course! Then we ordered our food, and Gay Crush decided it was the perfect time to tell me the history of his quest to keep from going bald. Yes, you read that correctly. I had to sit there and listen to GC talk all about balding medications. For the record, he has perfectly nice hair. No power alleys or comb-overs or anything.
GC then pointed out how he dressed up for our lunch, by wearing jeans and a button-down shirt instead of his usual jeans and a polo. I confessed to wearing mascara as my effort to dress up. We laughed. We shared a side of fancy mac & cheese. I arrived at the lunch prepared to pay, but GC insisted he'd pay. He didn't look at his Crackberry once throughout the entire meal. He made gay jokes. Told me about his experiences as a child of having his parents deal with all injuries by getting antibiotics cheaply from Mexico (he's from CA, near the border).
I was worried it'd be weird when we got back to the office, but it wasn't. I'm not sure exactly how that was avoided, but ... it was so normal that it almost made me wonder why I even worried it'd be weird in the first place. I bet it was thanks to the mascara.