Where Are You?

Assistant is only two years younger than I am, and I'm not at all mature, but she makes me look like a downright upstanding citizen with how immature she is. She's like a sixteen year old. Hey here's a little tip for those of you new to office-life: when you're in the office, don't start doing yoga stretches, especially while talking to people you work with.

Personal Assistant is very passive-aggressive, which I consider to be a somewhat immature trait. She has an erratic schedule. There's a communal calendar where she's forever writing in that she'll be in the office, but never follows that. It's gotten to the point where if someone asks me when PA will be in the office, the only answer I can give is, "She'll be here when she shows up." I don't say it to be a wise-ass, or to be difficult, but because it is the only truth I can count on.

I have had to speak with both Turkey and PA to tell them to stop putting me in the middle of their power struggles via email. At least once a week Turkey tells me to contact PA to find out if she'll be in today or what time she'll be in. She is forever sick and on vacation and taking a day off.

She will email instructing me to tell Turkey that since she doesn't have anything to go over with him, she won't be in. He will tell me that he has things to go over with her, that she doesn't know about. Once I relay this, PA will write back saying she is at an appointment and will be busy the rest of the afternoon. I am then forced to tell Turkey this, and stand there watching his right cheek twitch in anger.

It's a very awkward position to be in - to have someone who's your equal using you to avoid your boss and to have your boss instructing you to pressure your equal to do things she's making clear she doesn't want to do. That's why I told both of them they needed to leave me out of it and communicate directly with each other.