Layers Upon Layers
I didn't really have friends growing up - I think I've mentioned that before. Now I do, and for the most part, I think I do pretty well at it. At being a friend back to my friends, and at having friends in general.
Sometimes I stumble with this whole having friends thing. And you know what my friends do? They just smile and wave it off. Apparently it's okay to not be a perfect friend. It's okay to be human.
Even after all this time of having friends, sometimes they surprise me. A friend invited me over for dinner, and knowing of the food issues I hate having, told me what she's planning to make and asked if that's okay. These things touch me. The little things that are so huge.
Another friend told me months ago she would do something for me if I ever wanted. She casually tossed it out, and I took it as an empty offer. But no, turns out she was serious and really meant it. You can take friends up on offers. Who knew?!
Tuna and I are becoming friends, I think. It feels a bit awkward to me. He's married, he's technically one of my (still just) three bosses, and let's be honest here - he's smarter than I am, if you measure smarts by academics, which most of the world I live in does. And yet, something good happened at work today and he called me just so we could be in awe about it together.
A while ago I was having a hard time. One of my friends told me she cleared her calendar for the days she knew would be most difficult for me. All so she could do whatever would help me most. She CLEARED HER CALENDAR. For ME. I have never heard of such a thing.
You must need a lot of self confidence to be a friend. Because I've noticed that when I was going through that rough patch a few friends offered to get together with me. Basically what they were saying was, "I see you need something, so let me offer up myself to you because I think that may help you feel better." And you know what? It totally works.
Today I'm just amazed by this whole friend thing. Hard to believe I went so long without having this. I hope it lasts forever. I hope I'm as good a friend to them as they are to me. I hope I never get jaded and stop appreciating these things.
Sometimes I stumble with this whole having friends thing. And you know what my friends do? They just smile and wave it off. Apparently it's okay to not be a perfect friend. It's okay to be human.
Even after all this time of having friends, sometimes they surprise me. A friend invited me over for dinner, and knowing of the food issues I hate having, told me what she's planning to make and asked if that's okay. These things touch me. The little things that are so huge.
Another friend told me months ago she would do something for me if I ever wanted. She casually tossed it out, and I took it as an empty offer. But no, turns out she was serious and really meant it. You can take friends up on offers. Who knew?!
Tuna and I are becoming friends, I think. It feels a bit awkward to me. He's married, he's technically one of my (still just) three bosses, and let's be honest here - he's smarter than I am, if you measure smarts by academics, which most of the world I live in does. And yet, something good happened at work today and he called me just so we could be in awe about it together.
A while ago I was having a hard time. One of my friends told me she cleared her calendar for the days she knew would be most difficult for me. All so she could do whatever would help me most. She CLEARED HER CALENDAR. For ME. I have never heard of such a thing.
You must need a lot of self confidence to be a friend. Because I've noticed that when I was going through that rough patch a few friends offered to get together with me. Basically what they were saying was, "I see you need something, so let me offer up myself to you because I think that may help you feel better." And you know what? It totally works.
Today I'm just amazed by this whole friend thing. Hard to believe I went so long without having this. I hope it lasts forever. I hope I'm as good a friend to them as they are to me. I hope I never get jaded and stop appreciating these things.
posted by Green at 11/02/2006 09:32:00 PM
2 Comments:
That you even wrote that last paragraph makes me suspect you'll live up to it
I hope you know you are worthy of these friendships. You're incredibly thoughtful and your insight is worth so much.
Your friends are lucky, too, and no doubt appreciate you as much as you value them. I'm glad I've 'met' you.
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