The Castro
I knew very little about San Francisco before moving here. All I knew was that other people said it was great though they had a hard time articulating why, and my brother sure liked it and encouraged me to come visit. Like others before me, upon visiting I promptly fell in love, moved here, and now struggle to articulate what exactly it is that I love (aside from the weather).
Before arriving in SF, in my mind the city was synonymous with gayness. When I came for that week-long vacation over two years ago, I was surprised to find that it didn't seem very gay here. I noticed the homeless people more than any gay people that might have been around. That wasn't how I thought it would be here. I thought I'd be in the minority, being straight. I thought there would be throngs of butch-looking women with shaved heads, among other stereotypes.
Turns out I was completely wrong. San Francisco doesn't seem any more gay than Manhattan. True, there are rainbow flags, and rainbow stickers around here. But after two years, I barely notice them these days.
Why does it matter if there are gay people? It doesn't. Except ... when there's a lot of something you're not at all used to, it's significant. After moving here, several people from Florida asked me if it's weird here, with all the gay people. They were surprised when I said it wasn't. That to me, it doesn't seem like there are lots of gay people. That a lot of times, until a man mentions his boyfriend, I don't even know he's gay. (Yeah, I don't have much gaydar.)
When I was first looking for a place to live, it was suggested that I go look in the Castro. It's known as a gay neighborhood, but a lot of single women feel safe living there for that reason. I didn't find an apartment there and didn't think any more of it.
A couple of weeks ago I was going to a friend's house and spent close to a half hour waiting for a bus in the Castro. I had walked from the train station to the bus stop through throngs of people on the streets. Although I hate standing around waiting, I liked having the opportunity to people watch. I saw a lot of gay bars with people enjoying happy hour. I saw a lot of people walking their dogs. There was a solid amount of rush-hour foot and car traffic, yet everyone was fairly patient. I felt safe. There was an energy in the streets that was friendly. Energetic, yet calm all at the same time. Actually, the Castro was exactly what I'd initially thought all of San Francisco would be. Blatantly gay.
The other day I was talking to a guy at work when he mentioned that he lives in the Castro. I told him of my recent experience there, and that I'm keeping an eye out for a new place to live and have added his neighborhood to my list. He enthusiastically encouraged me to find an apartment there. I told him what my friend told me - a landlord would rather rent to two gay men than to me, a single female, because they're a better financial risk than I am - and asked if he thought that was true. Yes. You have to know someone. Someone gay? Or just someone with an in? He said someone with an in. Although if that in-person is gay that's better.
He said he doesn't mind straight people living in the Castro, except when they want to come in and change it. Told me the story of a couple with a baby and how when they walked by a store that had a picture of a naked man in the window, they called the police about indecent exposure. He doesn't want people to move to the Castro if they won't appreciate it the way it is. Sounds reasonable to me.
I think I could appreciate it the way it is. I'll definitely double-check that feeling if I find an apartment to rent there before plunking down a security deposit.
Before arriving in SF, in my mind the city was synonymous with gayness. When I came for that week-long vacation over two years ago, I was surprised to find that it didn't seem very gay here. I noticed the homeless people more than any gay people that might have been around. That wasn't how I thought it would be here. I thought I'd be in the minority, being straight. I thought there would be throngs of butch-looking women with shaved heads, among other stereotypes.
Turns out I was completely wrong. San Francisco doesn't seem any more gay than Manhattan. True, there are rainbow flags, and rainbow stickers around here. But after two years, I barely notice them these days.
Why does it matter if there are gay people? It doesn't. Except ... when there's a lot of something you're not at all used to, it's significant. After moving here, several people from Florida asked me if it's weird here, with all the gay people. They were surprised when I said it wasn't. That to me, it doesn't seem like there are lots of gay people. That a lot of times, until a man mentions his boyfriend, I don't even know he's gay. (Yeah, I don't have much gaydar.)
When I was first looking for a place to live, it was suggested that I go look in the Castro. It's known as a gay neighborhood, but a lot of single women feel safe living there for that reason. I didn't find an apartment there and didn't think any more of it.
A couple of weeks ago I was going to a friend's house and spent close to a half hour waiting for a bus in the Castro. I had walked from the train station to the bus stop through throngs of people on the streets. Although I hate standing around waiting, I liked having the opportunity to people watch. I saw a lot of gay bars with people enjoying happy hour. I saw a lot of people walking their dogs. There was a solid amount of rush-hour foot and car traffic, yet everyone was fairly patient. I felt safe. There was an energy in the streets that was friendly. Energetic, yet calm all at the same time. Actually, the Castro was exactly what I'd initially thought all of San Francisco would be. Blatantly gay.
The other day I was talking to a guy at work when he mentioned that he lives in the Castro. I told him of my recent experience there, and that I'm keeping an eye out for a new place to live and have added his neighborhood to my list. He enthusiastically encouraged me to find an apartment there. I told him what my friend told me - a landlord would rather rent to two gay men than to me, a single female, because they're a better financial risk than I am - and asked if he thought that was true. Yes. You have to know someone. Someone gay? Or just someone with an in? He said someone with an in. Although if that in-person is gay that's better.
He said he doesn't mind straight people living in the Castro, except when they want to come in and change it. Told me the story of a couple with a baby and how when they walked by a store that had a picture of a naked man in the window, they called the police about indecent exposure. He doesn't want people to move to the Castro if they won't appreciate it the way it is. Sounds reasonable to me.
I think I could appreciate it the way it is. I'll definitely double-check that feeling if I find an apartment to rent there before plunking down a security deposit.
2 Comments:
sounds like a real city experience.
oddly enough, I feel the same way about the desert. All these city folk move up here, then want to complain about the shit people have in their yards. The desert people are funky and weird, and they were here first.
good luck on the search.
This is such an interesting blog. You are very knowledgeable about this subject.
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