This Type of Waste

I think it was 2009 or 2010 when I lived for an entire year, including unemployment, on $19,000.  In the year-long moment I didn't realize it. It was only when I was doing my taxes for the previous year that I saw, and then cried. In San Francisco, that's not a lot of money for a year. Maybe it is in the Kentucky mountains or something. But not here.

Our prior office manager filed for unemployment. Turkey appealed. She fought the appeal. It went to a hearing. The hearing took so long that they needed to schedule a second hearing, to hear even more information. Turkey brought in his employment attorney to prep and attend both hearings. To date, he's spend $33,000 in legal bills on this.

Ask me how much his unemployment insurance would go up if Prior Office Manager is awarded unemployment. Go ahead, ask me. Okay, I'll tell you. IF five (or eight? I forgot the exact number) former employees file for it and are receiving at the same time, then Turkey's unemployment insurance payments go up LESS THAN 1%!

You know how there are all kinds of rules and regulations companies have to follow, as long as they have 20 or more employees? Yeah. Turkey has fewer than three full-time employees. He's got me, and Current Office Manager. Everyone else is part-time or an independent contractor. So I'm pretty confident in saying that less than 1% of Turkey's unemployment insurance payments are less than $33,000. 

Thus, Turkey wasted money. This is not the first time he's done something like this. He's gone to arbitration with former clients over outstanding legal bills and spent tens of thousands of dollars in time (he bills out at over $400 an hour, so it's pretty easy to calculate), all in an effort to get that former client to pay $2,000 that Turkey believes they owe him.

It's no joke to say that I could live on $33,000. Not well, but I could do it. It's things like this that cause me to have almost no respect for Turkey.

Hurt? Oh Good, Lemme Poke It

Former Office Manager warned me eons ago to never tell Turkey anything personal about myself, and to never let him see any weak spots. I don't recall her exact words, but the visual her words gave me was of having a bullet wound and him poking his finger into it and wiggling it around.

He's like that with clients too. Some law firms have companies as clients and some have people. Mine has both. People hire lawyers because they're in trouble, or they're worried they might be in the future.

An older woman hired my firm to do work for her because someone wronged her. She's dying of breast cancer, and she's trying to right the wrong before she dies. This is a really sweet older woman, one who calls us all dear. She's spent so much money on legal fees. Well over $20,000. That's not a lot for a company, but it's a lot for a person. It's more than I earned in 2010. She got told by Turkey to give us a credit card that we could charge $500 on each week. She did, and we used up the entire credit limit. She has no savings left, because she's spent them all on legal fees. Our legal fees.

She's been flying back East for treatments, and also to LA for some other cancer treatments. She knows Turkey doesn't read his emails regularly so she calls to tell me, "I've sent Turkey an email, would you be a dear and print it out to make sure he reads it?" I am happy to be a dear for her.

Usually when I make a mistake at work, only my boss knows if anyone does. But once, I made a huge mistake and she knew. She was at a Kinko's and asked me to fax her a specific email. She had to pay $1 per page received. I faxed her the wrong email. She called back frantic saying, "I already have that one; I needed the next one! I just wasted $6!" I felt so bad that I told our office manager, and asked him to credit her $6, and if Turkey said anything, I'd pay that money myself.

This morning I read a few emails Turkey sent to this client. He fired her. It's pretty unusual for a lawyer to fire their client. It's definitely unusual for a lawyer to fire their client by email, and as harshly as Turkey did it. It wasn't a gentle "Hilda, I am so sorry, but I just can't represent you anymore. It's been a pleasure working with you. If you still feel you require the services of an attorney, I suggest you call Heidi Ho." It was more like, "Hilda, fuck you, and fuck your little dog too. You're FIRED!"

Okay, it wasn't exactly like that. But even the WASP read the emails and said if she'd gotten those, she'd cry. I would too. He was harsh. Hey, I get it - when you're trying to run a business you need clients to pay you. But lawyers have this nifty thing called pro bono. That means clients they take on for free. Turkey doesn't do any pro bono work. Not for any of his clients.

I'm really bummed out today. I've seen other lawyers write off thousands and thousands of dollars in legal fees. Lawyers earning a LOT less than Turkey. Lawyers with families to support, lawyers with much lower incomes. Just lawyers who have hearts.