Gay or Straight?

Turkey is the most inappropriate boss to ever live in current times. He used the word "tits" in an email to me recently. A couple of weeks ago, when he called from out of the office he used the term "my balls" when referring to how he hides a key for a filing cabinet in a box that contains ben wa balls.

Most recently, the substitute for Nicki interrupted the morning meeting Turkey and I have each day. After he walked out, Turkey looked at me. "What do you think? Gay or straight?"

Whoa there. We're at work! I know this is your law firm and you think you can do whatever you want, but asking an employee about another employee's sexual orientation is wildly inappropriate at best, and sexual harassment at its worst. I wanted to just smack my hand down on his desk, yelling "For god's sake, FILTER!"

But that wouldn't have gone over well, so I just smiled shyly and shrugged, which was the best I could come up with in the quarter second I had to think about how to react. How would you have answered that one?

For the record, I think the substitute is straight.