I Used to Love Soap Operas
As a little girls, I called them "so boppers" and then learned they were really called "soap boppers." I never questioned the reasoning behind this term. Little kids are so open to learning, you could probably tell them all sorts of weird untrue shit and get away with it.
I'm older and wiser now, and love nothing more than asking questions. It's weird to work at a place where nobody likes the boss. Wait, it's not that people don't like him. They actively dislike him. Here's one of the gems that endeared him to the staff (before I got there):
When it's someone's birthday, he takes the firm out to lunch. The firm pays for it. When it was Turkey's birthday, he chose a super-expensive restaurant. Like, the kind of restaurant where you're being modest if you only get three courses. He got all five courses though. The bill came, and he refused to put down the company credit card, saying it was his birthday and he wasn't paying for it. Word in the sunken living room is people were kicking each other under the table freaking out that they each had to plunk down over $100, on a day when they thought they'd be getting a free lunch. People were beyond furious. And he claimed to not understand why.
On Friday, when the WASP and Office Manager were telling me these types of stories, I confessed that the one thing I didn't understand was Turkey's gay lovah. I mean, he's kind of hot, he's French, he dresses well, he's younger. He could do better. Why was his married to this Turkey?
So glad you asked! Gay lovah was a counter person at Bloomingdales for years, it seems. Years! Until he got fired for stealing. Then Turkey got him a job at an upscale furniture showroom through a client from the firm. How'd they meet, you ask? Lucky for you, I asked too! Well. Gay Lovah was married before Turkey. To a WOMAN. To which my jaw dropped, and I asked Office Manager, "Turkey TURNED Gay Lovah?!" She laughed. Apparently, they both went on some vacation for boy toys to meet sugar daddies, and that's how they wound up together. Gay Lovah has a sweet deal. I mean, aside from having to live with the Turkey, and you know, be his gay lovah. Not that I think gay love is gross, but that Turkey himself is quite gross, in both looks and personality.
Office Manager also shared that Gay Lovah contributes about $600 a month towards their household. They have a home worth over a million dollars. Turkey has this law firm. The two of them go on fancy trips two to four times a year. They eat out often, see shows often, go to the opera. Sweet deal. Except for the Turkey part. Now if Gay Lovah had hooked up with the Hot Gay Subtenant I'd be in awe of that, because Hot Gay Subtenant is outrageously hot and also totally helpful and pleasant to be around.
So that's the story of how the Turkey got his Gay Lovah husband. And how did you meet YOUR husband?
I'm older and wiser now, and love nothing more than asking questions. It's weird to work at a place where nobody likes the boss. Wait, it's not that people don't like him. They actively dislike him. Here's one of the gems that endeared him to the staff (before I got there):
When it's someone's birthday, he takes the firm out to lunch. The firm pays for it. When it was Turkey's birthday, he chose a super-expensive restaurant. Like, the kind of restaurant where you're being modest if you only get three courses. He got all five courses though. The bill came, and he refused to put down the company credit card, saying it was his birthday and he wasn't paying for it. Word in the sunken living room is people were kicking each other under the table freaking out that they each had to plunk down over $100, on a day when they thought they'd be getting a free lunch. People were beyond furious. And he claimed to not understand why.
On Friday, when the WASP and Office Manager were telling me these types of stories, I confessed that the one thing I didn't understand was Turkey's gay lovah. I mean, he's kind of hot, he's French, he dresses well, he's younger. He could do better. Why was his married to this Turkey?
So glad you asked! Gay lovah was a counter person at Bloomingdales for years, it seems. Years! Until he got fired for stealing. Then Turkey got him a job at an upscale furniture showroom through a client from the firm. How'd they meet, you ask? Lucky for you, I asked too! Well. Gay Lovah was married before Turkey. To a WOMAN. To which my jaw dropped, and I asked Office Manager, "Turkey TURNED Gay Lovah?!" She laughed. Apparently, they both went on some vacation for boy toys to meet sugar daddies, and that's how they wound up together. Gay Lovah has a sweet deal. I mean, aside from having to live with the Turkey, and you know, be his gay lovah. Not that I think gay love is gross, but that Turkey himself is quite gross, in both looks and personality.
Office Manager also shared that Gay Lovah contributes about $600 a month towards their household. They have a home worth over a million dollars. Turkey has this law firm. The two of them go on fancy trips two to four times a year. They eat out often, see shows often, go to the opera. Sweet deal. Except for the Turkey part. Now if Gay Lovah had hooked up with the Hot Gay Subtenant I'd be in awe of that, because Hot Gay Subtenant is outrageously hot and also totally helpful and pleasant to be around.
So that's the story of how the Turkey got his Gay Lovah husband. And how did you meet YOUR husband?
Labels: Interactive, People watching, Shock and Awe, Turkey, Work
posted by Green at 6/27/2011 09:04:00 PM
6 Comments:
I met him on the internets!
I wonder if Gay Lovah is in it for the Sweet Deal or if he actually likes Turkey. It could happen. I've seen people who are just unattractive inside and out, who inexplicably have a really nice SO.
Okay, it's probably the Sweet Deal, but Turkey sounds like such a pill, it would totally not be worth it for me.
Met my hub on a blind date! Good story - had awful friends in HS, total mean girls. Mean Girl 1 crushed on and stalked J, with Mean Girl 2 along for support. J began calling MG1 until finally he got her to give him MG2's phone number. J and MG2 began dating and as a consolation, MG2 set up MG1 with J's friend C. Double date! As a bonus, they could totally leave Amanda out of things and remind her that they thought she was too loserly for them!
J was a douche and flirted constantly with MG1, who thought it meant she could steal him from MG2. She dumped C. MG2 figured out why and set C up with me. Double date! And putting MG1 in my former Loser Friend position!
A few weeks later, they made up and MG2 tried hard to convince me that C and I just didn't make as much sense as a couple as C and MG1, but it was too late. 15 years later, we are happily married with a child and another on the way.
Blind date - my wife was my friend's date. Her friend wanted to meet someone, so she asked hr date (my friend) if he knew someone who would take her out and I was set me up with her friend. During the date the girls took a bathroom break and decided to switch dates.
Sounds like you're in one now! Hope you have a permanent, but not starring role.
I met my wife on the Information Super Highway.
Once when I worked at "The Firm," I went out to lunch with a group of associates. One of them refused to pay for more than half of her lunch because she only ate half of it.
Uh, yeah, that made sense....
She wasn't too popular as a lunch date after that.
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