No Midgets Involved (Though They Are Welcome)

Brandy put the call out to ask questions of people, and I answered. So, in the particular order they were asked, here are her questions and my answers.

1. Both of your parents recently friended you on facebook. Did you accept their friend requests, and would you rather give up facebook or twitter? (And yes, I know that's really two questions disguised as one, but let's not quibble about numbers).

After a careful review was done, their request was sent to the board, the board discussed it at their semi-tri-annual conference, a vote was taken, and the friend requests of both parents were accepted. My mother always told me as a child that she hoped we would be friends once I became an adult. Now all her hopes and dreams have come true. Or whatever.

If I had to give up one, I'd give up Twitter. I agree - quibbling about numbers is so bourgeois - let's quibble about letters instead.

2. Who are your role models?

I've never really been into the concept of role models or idols. There have been famous people whose careers I've enjoyed following, but there's something about it that strikes me as unhealthy. Both for the admirer and s/he who is being admired.

Having babbled about all that, the answer to your question that you'd like more is, my friends. They all have different things about them that I admire and strive to emulate. One friend told me once that she doesn't like drama in her relationships, and over the years I have seen her sidestep drama when it's come up. She is very direct in her dealings with people. This impresses me. Another friend once said what I consider the most brilliant statement of the 2000's, which is that people are not all good, or all bad. It's such a simple thing, but very important to keep in mind. Nobody is perfect. Expecting perfection from people sets you up to be disappointed. Someone can disappoint you and still be a good friend; they're just human.

3. Would you rather have to chew a sandwich left on the counter of a public bathroom, or gum you found under a seat on a bus?

This is a tough one. Gum found under the seat of a bus was probably only touched by one person, thus rendering it cleaner than a sandwich touched by a bathroom counter which was (hopefully) touched by many. My first instinct was to say I'd go for the sandwich, thinking I could just chew on the middle of it where it didn't touch public bathroom counters, but the gum would probably be cleaner.

4. What do you think your blog readers would be most surprised to learn about you?

I'm not sure. Maybe that despite how critical I am of how others dress, I tend to dress like a slob? Hard to say really, since I've written for a few years now.

5. If you could have any job in the world, what would you like to do and what would be your salary?

When I was a toddler, I wanted to be a bakery. Not a baker, but a bakery. Luckily I got over that before embarrassing myself even worse than I did on a daily basis in elementary school. As a child I once told my mother I wanted to open an "in-between store" which would be a clothing store for kids who were in-between two different sizes of clothing.

You know what? My ideal job would let me do a different job each day of the work week. I'd love to run a school for kids with learning disabilities. I'd love to be a liaison between doctors and patients, stepping in to explain to patients and their families about what's going on after the doctor delivers his/her rushed speech, holding hands of patients who are getting spinal taps, etc. I'd love to be a professional problem-solver in business settings. Also, I'm excellent at decorating and designing spaces, and would love to walk around a person's house and help them move furniture and knock down a couple of walls to maximize space and things like that.

A cool quarter of a million dollars each year would be fine with me.

Whoa

1. Both my parents friended me on Facebook.
2. I went to a tea party today for the first time in my life. I do not drink tea.
3. Sometimes I feel like I have no friends and am completely alone while other days I am overwhelmed by how much people reach out to me.
4. The other night while walking home I ran into the owner of a small business here in SF that I used to frequent when I had money. It's a nail salon, and as the owner locked up for the evening I asked how business was doing. The answer given was surprising. The owner told me that although he had to let a few people go, business was still maintaining. That since it was only $40 or $50, people are still making appointments. That it's important to continue to pamper yourself. Um, if business is so good, why did you lay people off?

The Broken Pantsuit

There's a blog devoted strictly to keeping track of Michelle Obama's clothing choices. It's more interesting than you'd think. Partially because the writing is truly good, but also because Michelle Obama has actual style.

There are lots of compliments I could give Hillary Clinton, but her fashion sense is not one of them. You'd think that after spending over a decade in the public eye, Hillary would take some of the feedback she's gotten and change the way she dresses. I totally understand the idea of ignoring things that are said about you. However. If everyone has the same critique maybe it's time to pay attention.

Hillary does not share my stance. Maybe she really digs pantsuits. Maybe she feels very attacked out in the world and views her pantsuits as armor. Maybe a guy she had a huge crush on in 10th grade made fun of her one day when she wore a dress, and ever since then she's hated how she looks in them.

Whatever the reason, Hillary forges on in her new position suited up in her pantsuit. It will be interesting to see if Michelle's style rubs off on Hillary at all. Will Hillary break out of her self-imposed pantsuit prison? My guess is that it won't, but that won't stop me from keeping an eye on the situation in order to report back to you.

Where Are You?

I could add to this, or I could just let it all spill out here. Since I haven't blogged in a while, we'll go with here. Here's where I am.

For the first time this year, on Thursday and Friday I worked. That'll get it's own blog post, because it was just that juicy. I'll just say now that I hate the way the firm is run, but if they had any job openings I'd apply faster than you can say "lawsuit" because there are no coins in my can to shake as people walk by.

My lease ends in July. Looking online, I saw that my apartment complex is advertising apartments just like mine for $500 less than I pay. On Friday evening, 9am told me commuting to San Mateo isn't working out for him, and he's moving out by March 1st. Each month I barely scrape together my rent of $1700 (oh yeah, that's right). So there's no way I can afford to pay both my rent AND his rent come March 1st.

You want to tell me to break my lease, and just move out now, I know. But I can't afford to move. To hire movers. And despite having more friends here than I did in Florida and New York, I don't have friends who would help me move. Just people who are friendly enough to say, "Wow, yeah moving sucks, good luck!" I can't afford a security deposit - the one I gave here was only for $99 because they were running a special. Plus, what landlord would rent to someone who has no income?

What about unemployment? Well, that runs out in about 11 weeks. Unless Obama's stimulus thing is going to stimulate unemployment benefits within the next two and a half months.

So as of March 1, I can't afford to live here. But I can't afford to move. I have nowhere to go. Oh wait. Except. Except that Friday night (I know, it's quite the exciting life) while on the phone with my parents, they said I am welcome to move in with them. In Florida. Land of Humidity.

You may see how desperate things are that I am considering this (no offense, Mom & Dad). I had a lot of questions. How would things work? How much rent would I have to pay you? Would you be treating me like your child or like a roommate who you just happen to know very well? How long do you intend for this to be? My parents had no answers. My father suggested I write out all my questions and e-mail them so he and my mother can discuss and present a united front.

I love living in San Francisco. As much as I complain about it, I love it. I've made better friends here than I've ever had in my life. I love that I went from not really "getting" why gay people were gay at all, to getting all teary when talking about why gay rights are so important. I love the Farmer's Market, even though I haven't gone in over a year. I love that (extremely) slowly, the bus lines are coming together for me. I love that I'm almost ready to buy clothing in a used clothing store. I love living in a city where you can meet up with a friend, go hiking, and come out of the woods to find yourself overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

And I don't care - I'd give it all up in a heartbeat. Really, I'd walk away from it and go South. I can always move back here later. I could deal with frizzy hair again, rain every afternoon, being surrounded by capri pants, and living in Jeb Bush Land.

Could I deal with being stranded in a house with my mother in the suburbs all day, every day? Could I deal with being asked where I'm going by my mother every time I get up from a chair? Could I deal with having to be present for my parent's fighting?

Yes. I do. Because I'd have to. What I'm not sure I could deal with is living there and having just as hard a time trying to get a job there as I'm having here. That is my biggest hesitation in saying I'm moving back to Florida. Sure, I wouldn't be paying $1700 in rent. I'll have stopped going as far into debt as fast as I am now.

I am severely depressed right now. My room is a wreck. Right now, on my bed there are two messenger bags, a towel, a sweater, a makeup case, a copy of a timesheet, a scarf, and me. There's a huge mess of papers and magazines on the floor that I can't seem to sort through. There's a stack of books to be donated to the library on the floor. I am having trouble eating. Not just because I have become permanently nauseous as of a few months ago. But I keep getting paralyzed by indecision and can't plan which meals to eat when in order to keep food from going bad. The battery on my watch died. I'm wearing it anyway, because I feel naked without a watch.

I flit around my apartment unable to tackle any one issue, overwhelmed by how many there are. I need someone to swoop in and fix it all, but there is noone. I have nobody. Each day last week I meant to go to the library. I never went. Why? Couldn't say.

Meanwhile everyone around me keeps moving forward. Planning and going on vacations. Buying new gadgets, new clothes, new whatevers. "What do you mean, you've never been to Tahoe?" they ask me. "Well where do you go for vacation?" I go to New York for open heart surgery, or Florida for a 90th birthday party for a man who will die three months later.

So I sit, looking out my window at the rain, waiting for somebody to tell me what to do, since apparently I can't make any good decisions, as all of mine have gotten me to this point.

A Few Things

Drew Barrymore has been doing makeup commercials lately. She seems to have gotten a fake tan for this - it does NOT look good. She should stick with the peaches and cream schtick that is her natural coloring.

Ellen Degeneres is apparently now a spokesmodel for Cover Girl. Certainly never saw THAT coming! Ellen, please read above and learn from Drew's mistake. You are also pale - so do not get a fake tan.

Was watching this Mystery Diagnosis show on TLC and a girl is talking about her issue. At one point she says, "My chiropractor prescribed anti-inflammatory pills ..." Okay, what? Chiropractors can't prescribe medicine!

Also, there was a Clorox commercial that struck me as a little strange. They have this stain fighter detergent and the basis of the commercial is that a guy drives up to a soccer field where a bunch of boys are playing soccer and have gotten grass stains on their jerseys. The guy has a truck that has a built-in washer and dryer on the side of it, and he wants to show how well this awesome new detergent is right there, in the moment. To encourage the boys to want to see how well it works, the man takes off his shirt (he is wearing a t-shirt underneath) and sure enough all the little boys come running and taking off their jerseys (wearing white wife-beaters underneath).

Is it me, or is a grown man encouraging little boys he doesn't know to take off their shirts kind of weird? Or have I been watching too much To Catch a Predator?

Lastly, I walked something like seven city blocks today and couldn't find a freaking mailbox anywhere! Like payphones, are they going out of business? I walked past four different sets of those free magazine stands, but it was a bitch and a half trying to mail my unemployment form today while running other errands.

I Will Be Morally Superior!

Peoples, thank you so much for all your support and encouragement and links and Christy, very huge special thanks to you! Thank you for not laughing at me for being so scared of living without tv. Thank you for not telling me to get a life, which is what my father used to say any time he'd catch me watching MTV.

Merry, I actually don't own any dvds at all. It may sound kind of strange, but I just ... never bought any. I own VHS tapes, but no dvds.

Anon 11:29, I have called my cable company when tv has been out and they are *terrible* with customer service. They are outrageously difficult to reach when you call them. Numerous times I have called when they should be open only to reach their answering service. They only call me back if I leave a message saying I have a question about paying my bill. Not even kidding. They had a monopoly on the area I live in for years, otherwise I'd have originally gone with Comcast.

Meeksie, Nicole is as good as her word.

Fianna, Fianna (I think it sounds best said twice) you will never believe what happened! See, the time I went to check out the dvds, I went to the main library figuring they'd have a bigger selection what with being 486 times bigger than the little, cozy library down the street from me. Imagine how disappointed I was that despite having an ENTIRE ROOM dedicated to dvds, they all sucked. However, today I went to the little library down the street and decided to look at their dvds. Imagine my surprise at all the awesome and wonderful choices! I am so excited about this!

I can do this. Really, I'm going to be okay. I can be morally superior. I can casually say, "Oh, I don't watch tv... though that does sound like a cute little show." And if there is a television emergency, please go respond to the doorbell. It's me, coming to watch something important, and I'll thank you during the commercials!

Pulling the Plug on Television

When I first tried to cut my budget, I wanted to cancel cable, and become one of those people who "doesn't watch tv." Well, not that I looked forward to not watching tv, but I mean, it's very clearly a want and not a need, and I wanted to cut out all wants.

The problem with doing that though, is the roommate factor. When roommates move in, they move in with the understanding that they will have television, so I can't cancel it.

Today a notice came in the mail that Comcast is taking over from the crappy cable company we have now. With our current cable company at least one channel is frozen at all times. We only get 30 channels, and 26 and 29 are both the CW. The cable goes out all the time.

So in telling 9am about this upcoming change to Comcast, I mentioned hoping Comcast's rates aren't higher than the shitty company we have now. Which leads to a conversation about how 9am wouldn't be upset if we had no cable at all, and we could just watch dvds instead. Now I am thinking about actually canceling cable. Which means canceling all television. You might have the urge to tell me that I can borrow dvd's from the library, but before you do please know I've already looked at what they have, and it's VERY slim pickings.

What I'm considering is firing back up my Netflix account (you know they'll hold your queue for you for up to two years and just put your account on hold if you can't afford it?) and just ... reading a hell of a lot more. A lot more. To be clear, I watch the old Friends reruns most weekday evenings. Tv and I are friends, really good friends. If I had birthday parties, I wouldn't just invite tv to my party, I'd want it to sit next to me when the cake was being brought out. I'd let tv play with some of my new presents even before I did.

I'm not one of those hippies who uses recycled tampons and rages about hearing that someone uses Clorox Wipes. Who says, "Oh, I don't have time to watch television; I'm way too busy leading a prayer circle for people in prison during any spare time I have." I'm a good person in that while I'm laughing because you tripped, I'm also helping you pick up whatever you dropped. But I still watch tv almost every day.

Basically what I'm saying is that I'm scared. This is a little thing, but it's still a big deal, espeically when you're not working and can't afford to go anywhere. Please tell me your experiences with cutting out television from your life. Feel free to say things to make me feel better about this decision. Because really, if 9am is okay with cutting out cable, I kind of *have* to do it. Hell, if I still had a car, I'd totally be living in that instead of spending so much money on rent. I'd pay for a monthly parking space, a gym membership (showers), and a storage space. Most gyms have televisions after all.

I Don't Know What It Means

I was in jail, and so was Golden Boy. We were in different cells, and this was no ordinary jail. The general public was able to walk through the wide hallways, as if they were walking through a mall. There were tables set up along some of the walls where people sold things. It was like a flea market that had a few jail cells. I was in a cell near one of the entrances, and Golden Boy was in a call down the hall and immediately around the corner.

A security guard came and unlocked the door, telling me I could take a break for the day. I walked out of my cell thanking her, and then asked when I should be back. Tonight, she told me. I walked down the hall, and Golden Boy and I somehow got in contact with our mother. We walked around outside with her, and then went to dinner.

It started getting dark, and Golden Boy and I agreed we should get back. As we entered the building, we saw signs for public bathrooms. We each got in line for our respective bathrooms. Golden Boy's line moved faster (shocker) and he was on his way back to his cell while I was still waiting in line. Once I got in, I hurried through the bathroom, worried I would be late.

As I walked back down the hallway to get back to my cell, I see two police officers walking hurriedly in my direction. I now panic that I'm in trouble, then realize I'm wearing tan pants and a light pink short-sleeve shirt and nothing makes me stand out as someone who belongs in jail. That thought relaxes me a little bit, but I still hurry towards my cell, berating myself for not having asked for a firm time I was supposed to be back.

Then I see a few more police officers huddled together in the hallway, holding a little picture in their hands and looking closely at everyone walking by while talking into walkie-talkies. Worried I'm going to have to stay in jail even longer now, as a punishment for being late, I consider running, then decide not to, that it might attract attention. When I can see around the crowds of people still milling around, it's clear there are no police officers waiting at the cell for me. While hurrying down the hallway the last several meters, I wake up.