And the Cycle Continues

For some reason, it doesn't feel real yet. The job. Even though I've pulled out clothes I hadn't worn since May. I ironed, set my alarm, made sure I had instant oatmeal to bring to work on the mornings I realize the yogurts have run out.

It feels tentative. Beause I don't have a building pass yet? The lack of voicemail? That I need to mapquest it each time I need to go someplace on my lunch hour?

What needs to happen for me to believe it's real, that I'm back to earning a paycheck? Withdrawal from Oprah? Buying something that I'd never have bought while out of work? Realizing I'm no longer going to the library twice a week? Today I handled a check that was over $200K. That's something that only ever happens at work.

Maybe it doesn't feel real yet beause I haven't blogged about it. So let's try that.

This office is much smaller than my last one. A lot less support, which means I have to do things I've never had to do before. Like calendaring, preparing my own mail, filing. It's a huge law firm, but their San Francisco office is tiny.

There are fewer than five attorneys, and only one other secretary. The receptionist started her third week of work today, so I'm not the only new person. Apparently the secretary I replaced cried often. The attorneys are tentative with me, and have encouraged me to come to them with anything that upsets me, before it upsets me.

I'm working for two attorneys, both men. One of whom we'll call Balls, because he adjusts his frequently. Maybe he needs different panties. He looks a little like a pedophile, but he's very nice. I wonder if there's some secret support group for men who look like pedophiles but aren't. The other attorney is younger, normal-looking, and preparing for the trial of his career so very stressed out.

The other secretary seems to have a very busy personal life. She's got a few of her own kids, some step-kids, a couple of grandkids (the grandmas are EVERYWHERE!), and a couple of exhusbands. Oh and she's in the midst of a divorce, and her husband is not paying any child support. Today she marched in twenty minutes late, with a young girl in tow. Apparently the kid's Catholic school was off today and had nowhere else to go.

This afternoon I had a closed door meeting with the younger attorney, who wanted to know how it's going for me. I explained that the IT guy didn't have time to finish training me, but the other secretary said she would. He told me not to let her teach me anything.

Okay why do companies do that? This woman's worked there for a year and a half. If she sucks, why have they kept her?

Don't worry - I'll come up with names for everyone and keep you informed. Oh, and as soon as I get a handle on how much overtime there'll be during trial season, fucking yoga will return. I should start practicing my downward dogs now in preparation.