Disengaged
A good friend of mine lives out in the middle of nowhere. She has two little boys, and although very rich in love, not so rich in money. A while ago, I got mail from Old Navy, talking about their latest promotion where anything you could fit in the bag they sent would be 20% off. I told my friend about it, and we agreed that I would buy some winter clothes from Old Navy for her sons, since there's no Old Navy near her.
She sent me a list of what they needed, their sizes, and a budget. Off I went shopping, checking clearance items first. Came in under budget, but needed a box to send the clothes to her.
Today at work I picked up a box from the copy room to take home. Tuna asked what I needed it for, and I explained what my friend and I are doing. He suggested I stop off at a fancy boutique and pick up a couple of extra things, as a surprise for my friend.
When Tuna first made this suggestion I thought he meant that I should spend my own money. I explained that she was sending me money for the clothes I was getting - I just laid the money out for her. Tuna said, "Aww, just toss a couple of things in there. Once she sees how nice they are, she won't mind spending the extra money."
HELLO?! Now, I know my friend. And sure, she likes nice things, who doesn't? However. You do NOT do that to someone who is watching their budget!
I like Tuna a lot. But. Maybe this attitude is why the very rich are so often not helping the very poor in ways that would actually help them - there's this real disconnect on how lower income people have to live.
She sent me a list of what they needed, their sizes, and a budget. Off I went shopping, checking clearance items first. Came in under budget, but needed a box to send the clothes to her.
Today at work I picked up a box from the copy room to take home. Tuna asked what I needed it for, and I explained what my friend and I are doing. He suggested I stop off at a fancy boutique and pick up a couple of extra things, as a surprise for my friend.
When Tuna first made this suggestion I thought he meant that I should spend my own money. I explained that she was sending me money for the clothes I was getting - I just laid the money out for her. Tuna said, "Aww, just toss a couple of things in there. Once she sees how nice they are, she won't mind spending the extra money."
HELLO?! Now, I know my friend. And sure, she likes nice things, who doesn't? However. You do NOT do that to someone who is watching their budget!
I like Tuna a lot. But. Maybe this attitude is why the very rich are so often not helping the very poor in ways that would actually help them - there's this real disconnect on how lower income people have to live.
posted by Green at 11/17/2006 06:59:00 PM
7 Comments:
When you're right, youre right.
I was once on the Board of Directors for the local Children's Museum. There was a point where I was not employed and DH wasn't working much.
The museum's fundraising had shifted from affordable ways to support the place into ones that only wealthy people could afford. Which defeated the mission of the museum, in my mind. But what did I know?
The chair at the time called me at home to ask why I hadn't bought a table at the annual Women's Luncheon. I explained in the past, my employer took care of this, but now, wasn't happening.
She disgustingly asked me if I wanted to buy a ticket to sit at someone else's table. Talk about backing me into a corner. I told her $150 for a luncheon ticket didn't fit into my current budget. She was incredulous. And pissed.
At that point, I decided my service was no longer needed and I resigned shortly thereafter, after I told the museum's staff why.
Some days I think it must be nice to never have to worry about money. Ever. But then I wonder if I would become the kind of person that forgot what pinching pennies felt like, and I don't ever want to do that.
This is pretty much my entire life. Rich people have no clue how other people live. They are very "let them eat cake." I recently horrified two wealthy newlyweds by explaining that in my family we dont have silver and china and that on Thanksgiving we use paper plates.
so true
As I head off to the post office, with three seperate packages going out to those even more needy than I am right now, and gathering stuff for a fourth.
One person offered to reimburse me for shipping - the one I'm still gathering stuff for said she cant even afford shipping!
So true.
And student nurse jack, I hear you. We do a big pro-choice fundraiser every year, and every year I help set up the silent auction. People always donate gift certificates to various restaurants, and I always watch those to see if I can snag one for less than the amount of the gift certificate. I never can. Last year, one of the volunteers ran around writing in the first bid of all the gift certificates at the gift certificate price - in other words, she started the bidding for a $25 certificate at $25.
She spends a lot of money at this event and she's a devoted volunteer for the cause. And, certainly, she does the organization a favor - I believe that last year she bid $400 on a cake (the live auction is cakes). But when I think of her going home with all that stuff, I can't help thinking of her as the bitch that made it impossible for me to afford to be able to buy anything.
I've been trying to think of a way to address this with the committee next year. Maybe I should just say, "I have no friggin' money, and I'd really like to be able to bid on something this year."
that is *exactly* what "let them eat cake" means!
however, it's good that he's a generally good person - that means he *could* get it if he were gently reminded somehow... (i hope).
"once she sees how nice they are she won't mind spending the extra money?" yes, because all budgetary restrictions stem purely from a failure of imagination by folks who can't see how *nice* nice things are! Sigh. This is why I am afraid to practice at a law firm.
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