(Some of) The People In My (Work) Neighborhood

The secretary who sits next to me is secretly pregnant. She's having a girl, and due in July. She has the most beautiful, shiny hair I've ever seen in real life. And you know how sometimes people talk about a pregnancy glow? I always thought that was bullshit. But it's not. This woman totally has it. Her skin is beautiful. I wish my skin was half as good as hers.

She never discusses being pregnant. Well, she does - that's how I know it's a girl and when she's due - but not to anyone in the office. Just on the phone. She eats fruit and cereal and drinks water all day long.

SPS (Secretly Pregnant Secretary) is very quiet. Not in a shy way, but just in "I'll be pleasant but let's not go overboard" kind of way. So I give her space, and don't try to drum up conversations, and she seems to appreciate it. This morning she said, "Good morning" to me. We often go four hours or more without talking to each other. Just so you have a clear picture in your head of the situation, we sit about six feet from each other.

Today SPS left work early - she is going on vacation to the East Coast. This means I will have to work for her two partners. One of whom is a Jersey Jew and had little girl panties on the floor of his office when I started working here and it made me wonder. A lot. He wasn't shy about the panties at all - he let everyone who knocked on the door come into his office, and the panties just stayed there on the floor, in full view among a heap of other junk.

I was beginning to think I should look him up on that child molester website when I found out he was going to Vietnam or someplace and was collecting a lot of stuff to donate, and the panties were among the donated clothes. They're gone now. Jersey Jew gave me a ride *almost home* from work on my first day, because it was pouring and I had forgotten my umbrella. He dropped me off about four blocks from home, and I was soaked by the time I got inside. We will not question why he could drive so close and yet leave me to walk and get soaked, but instead will just appreciate the ride.

The other partner is one of those guys who moves about 20 years older than whatever his physical age is (the mountain). My guess is that he's around 50. He either has a bum hip or a bum knee. He limps when he walks. Very nice guy, very gentle. He's the dude whose office affords me the awesome view of the Bay Bridge. He has two kids, around eight and 11 or something. It makes me think he's not on his first marriage.

Today he was leaving Jersey Jew's office, and the back pocket of his pants got caught on the doorframe and poor Gimpy almost fell over. You guys, I did SUCH a good job not laughing. Not even a smile was cracked. Until later, when I was in the privacy of my own home.