The End of The End Days

We had this client. Judy. This nice older Italian lady from New York. Who has a house in San Francisco. Who also happened to be dying of recurring breast cancer. Judy spends her time flying between Sloan Kettering in New York and Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. She spends all her money on her health and her legal problems.

I've probably told you before that Turkey is a psychopath. I actually looked up the definition of that and sociopath to figure out which one he was. Why yes, I DO (not) have a degree in psychology, obtained from Google University! The only thing Turkey doesn't fit is the torturing animals thing. Anyway, one of Turkey's cute personality quirks is that when he knows of a weakness in someone, he digs in. Visually, I see it as someone pointing out a bullet hole, and Turkey taking two fingers, pushing them into the hole, wiggling them around until the wound starts bleeding, then skipping off into the sunset, confused about why the person is angry at and hurt by him. I have watched him do this to people. More than once.

Sometimes Judy is only in town for a day and a half. One time Turkey insisted she had to come to the office to go over something. During a heat wave. At a time when Judy had just gotten off a cross-country flight and was preparing to fly to Los Angeles the next day. Turkey is notorious for being late. Severely late. Also, for jumping up in the middle of a meeting to run to the toilet while his ass explodes. Multiple times. So Judy showed up to our office, and she didn't look good. I immediately got her some cold water. She was pale and sweating. Her hair was a mess. I felt awful that she'd been hauled over to our offices when she clearly didn't feel well. Parking her in the conference room with water, I went to let Turkey know she'd arrived.

Of course, he had her sit. And sit. I kept checking on her every 15 minutes. Turkey kept making her wait while he worked in his office on something he claimed had come up that was "urgent," his favorite word. Judy waited almost an hour. Finally I pointed out to Turkey that he had another appointment coming up, after Judy's, and did he want me to cancel that. No, no he did not.

It was awkward. I'd go into the conference room, apologize to Judy, ask if she needed more water, maybe a Snapple, and she'd just ask if Turkey knew she was there. "Oh yes, I told him when you arrived, and have been reminding him every 15 minutes." He just doesn't care. Had Judy not really needed legal advice, I think she would have left. She looked worse and worse. Finally, after Judy had been waiting almost an hour and a half, Turkey "realized" the time.

Calling me into his office, Turkey told me to reschedule Judy. "Turkey, she's been waiting for over an hour!" He looked at me as if I was nuts. "Well, I have an appointment, what do you want me to do?" I stared at him like the idiot he was. "Be late for it, and meet with the person who made the effort to get to your office despite not feeling well." If you're thinking, "Isn't it kind of inappropriate to talk to your boss this way?" the answer is yes, and I knew I was taking a gamble.

Turkey was quietly loving it. He thrives on drama. Even if it's the type of drama that makes people angry at him. You can just see his body language get happy - I've never seen anything like it before.

Wondering what happened to Judy? Well, I suggested to Turkey that he have her walk downstairs and ride to his destination with him, and then he could just get out of the cab and give her money for the cab to take her home. That way he could get to his meeting without losing time but he'd still be honoring his commitment to Judy. Turkey refused.

Instead, he literally SNUCK OUT OF THE OFFICE on the coattails of a couple of delivery people complete with crouching down and everything, leaving us to tell Judy ... whatever. I almost cried. I was so embarrassed to be working for this idiot, and so angry and frustrated on her behalf. Judy couldn't quite comprehend what I was telling her at first. But ... did he realize she'd been waiting for him? Yes, yes he did. Did he realize she was only in town a short time? Yes, yes he did. And that she wasn't feeling well and had hauled herself over here despite that? Yes, yes he did. I did not make any excuses past the initial, "Turkey asked that I apologize that he had to miss this meeting, and that we reschedule when you'll next be in town."

Judy stared at me in shock, trying to wrap her head around what had been done to her. I walked her all the way down to the street and hailed a cab for her while she waited in the shade. Then Turkey fired her.

So you may understand why I rejected Turkey's offer of two weeks of severance pay in exchange for signing his release of claims, and said that I hoped he would consider putting the money he saved in not paying my severance, towards the Judy's bill, so he's suing the woman dying of breast cancer for less money. Office Manager did the same thing. Turkey probably won't reduce her bill. Judy will never know what we did. But every time I think about whether or not I'm an idiot to have foregone the money, the decision made feels like the right one.