Jealousy
Last Friday Turkey and I were talking in the conference room, and he suggested that he'd know something when he does his taxes - either this April or October. Then based on what he found out when he filed his taxes, I could file mine.
I looked at him quizzically. "I already filed my 2012 taxes." Turkey could not process this fact, and immediately proceeded to ask me if I'd filed my 2012 taxes three times, in three different ways. At one point he said to me, "But you couldn't have."
Actually, I could have, and I did. Turkey gave me the prior year's tax form, and the very next weekend I spent close to an hour cranking out my taxes.
Maybe four or so years ago, there was an associate working for Turkey whose wife was pregnant. Something happened in utero to the fetus, and the baby came out with all sorts of problems. Turkey promptly fired the associate, claiming he'd have to take off too much time from work for doctor's appointments. Last month I was told it was that associate who reported Turkey to the IRS and caused him to get audited.
Immediately after the tax talk with Turkey, he began tossing papers at me to throw away. In my head, I immediately began frantically peeling the onion to figure out why Turkey's mood had turned so sharply. Then I realized - I'd bested him. My taxes are so simple that I do them myself. He has three different accountants. He always has to file for an extension while I filed my taxes almost three months before the deadline.
Turkey always has to be better than other people. He went to two different Ivy League universities. I barely made it through community college. He can not be bested by someone like me.
Today someone from the Ethics Commission called.
I looked at him quizzically. "I already filed my 2012 taxes." Turkey could not process this fact, and immediately proceeded to ask me if I'd filed my 2012 taxes three times, in three different ways. At one point he said to me, "But you couldn't have."
Actually, I could have, and I did. Turkey gave me the prior year's tax form, and the very next weekend I spent close to an hour cranking out my taxes.
Maybe four or so years ago, there was an associate working for Turkey whose wife was pregnant. Something happened in utero to the fetus, and the baby came out with all sorts of problems. Turkey promptly fired the associate, claiming he'd have to take off too much time from work for doctor's appointments. Last month I was told it was that associate who reported Turkey to the IRS and caused him to get audited.
Immediately after the tax talk with Turkey, he began tossing papers at me to throw away. In my head, I immediately began frantically peeling the onion to figure out why Turkey's mood had turned so sharply. Then I realized - I'd bested him. My taxes are so simple that I do them myself. He has three different accountants. He always has to file for an extension while I filed my taxes almost three months before the deadline.
Turkey always has to be better than other people. He went to two different Ivy League universities. I barely made it through community college. He can not be bested by someone like me.
Today someone from the Ethics Commission called.
Labels: People watching, Turkey
posted by Green at 2/04/2013 09:53:00 PM
1 Comments:
Um, kinda weird. Why would he need to file his taxes first? You should have your W-2 by now.
That reminds me of this client we had at a place where I worked a while back. He would give us all his information, but insist we call to tell him how much he owed on his tax return before we printed anything. If he owed a lot, he "found" some expenses he forgot to give us. More than once the person handling his account had to tell him, "No, I will not do that." He found another, presumably more cooperative, accountant before they could fire him.
I'm sure nobody there is surprised by the Ethics Commission call.
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