The Karma Executioner

The Turkey is tough to work with. He leaves you unsure if you're coming or going. You prepare for a meeting, and somehow wind up getting in trouble. He comes to talk to you about a client, then leaves abruptly in the middle of the discussion, then comes back to ask why you haven't done something else. Um, because you forgot to assign it to me?

On Tuesday we were scheduled to have a staff meeting at 9:30. I arrived at work, promptly printed out our client status sheet that gets reviewed at these meetings, made copies for everyone, and considered myself ready. Turkey did not arrive at the office until slightly after 11am. By that time, everyone had given up on the staff meeting and gone on to do other work. At ten after the hour, Turkey was in the office. He walked around telling everyone we were going to start our meeting now. People were deep in the middle of documents, on the phone with clients, etc. It took a few minutes for everyone to find a stopping point and gather in the conference room. When we got there, Turkey yelled at all of us about how disappointed he was that we weren't all prepared and timely.

One of my coworkers mentioned the feeling of being spun in circles with a blindfold on, multiple times, and then being told to walk a straight line - that feeling of not knowing what direction is straight, not knowing where to aim for first.

Today I had five calls scheduled for Turkey in the afternoon. I rarely know how long each call will take, so I guess and hope for the best. If I know for sure something will turn into a long call, I schedule that one last. This afternoon Turkey showed up for the day around 2:45pm (he had two lunches to go to today, yes two, and no, that's not usual - it's the first time he had two in one day). For the following two hours I kept that man running. Whatever he was doing, I was in his face, holding up a post-it, interrupting to tell him someone was on hold, reminding him a client was expecting his call eight minutes earlier. At one point, Turkey stood outside his office and turned in a slow circle, unsure of what direction to go in. Should he go back in the WASP's office to finish his conversation with her? Meet with the Office Manager to get payroll in on time (yes)? Go pick up the phone?

Our Baby Lawyer saw it and laughed. She told me it was great that he was finally feeling today the way he makes all of us feel on a regular basis. The phrase she used was "karma executioner" when saying how nice it was to see him getting a taste of his own medicine.