Smug (Un)Marrieds
Last Wednesday was the going-away lunch for the architect. By the way, lest I complain too much about this job, just let it be said that thanks to this job I now know how to spell architect.
So each time I looked over at the office manager, she seemed to be sitting kind of primly, and I knew she was not having fun, sitting across from the billing guy. He's a bit weird. He tries to make jokes and they're never funny. About half the time they're actually disturbing.
Anyway, somehow the topic of marriages came up. Yes, not really appropriate for a work lunch, but there it was. The Turkey's personal assistant (if you're wondering why she was invited to a firm lunch you're not alone), who is not married or in a relationship, mentioned that if she gets married she doesn't want to live with her husband.
I, owner and president of Big Mouths, Inc., immediately asked, "How would that work? You want to marry someone in the military who's stationed overseas? All the time?" She laughed, shaking her head no. She then described what amounts to a castle with a moat and a drawbridge, and she would live in the castle and the husband would not.
Now, I've never been married so I can't be sure, but ... that's hella weird, right? Like, doesn't not living with your spouse kind of defeat the purpose of marriage? Not that you have to be married to live together, but isn't marriage all about doing most of your living WITH the spouse?
She tried to act like this was la la la, just a little quirky but totally in a fun and loveable way, la la la. But what kind of guy would want to sign up for that deal? The kind of guy who has a second wife, that he LIVES WITH? My friend always says "there is a lid for every pot" and maybe there is some straight guy out there who wants to be married but not live with his wife.
Here's my thinking on that though: with some things, you've got little quirks and they're part of what make you that much more loveable. At a certain point though, too many quirks or too many big quirks stop being quirks and just make you weird, and not in the good way.
I kept my mouth shut. I'm certainly no expert on marriage, by any stretch. On the walk back to the office, I was with the WASP (married) and office manager (divorced). The office manager told us she chatted with the billing guy about books and movies, and the WASP and I agreed she had a much more appropriate firm lunch conversation than we did.
Then the WASP went off. Complete with f-bomb and everything. About what? About the PA's fantasy marriage. I believe her exact words were, "That's not a fucking marriage!" We all stopped walking, right there on the sidewalk, to stare at her in shock. I mean, she's a WASP! She simply doesn't curse. She wears turtlenecks and low ponytails.
It was really funny to hear her get so riled up. I was glad it wasn't only me who thought the idea of marriage that way was really weird.
So each time I looked over at the office manager, she seemed to be sitting kind of primly, and I knew she was not having fun, sitting across from the billing guy. He's a bit weird. He tries to make jokes and they're never funny. About half the time they're actually disturbing.
Anyway, somehow the topic of marriages came up. Yes, not really appropriate for a work lunch, but there it was. The Turkey's personal assistant (if you're wondering why she was invited to a firm lunch you're not alone), who is not married or in a relationship, mentioned that if she gets married she doesn't want to live with her husband.
I, owner and president of Big Mouths, Inc., immediately asked, "How would that work? You want to marry someone in the military who's stationed overseas? All the time?" She laughed, shaking her head no. She then described what amounts to a castle with a moat and a drawbridge, and she would live in the castle and the husband would not.
Now, I've never been married so I can't be sure, but ... that's hella weird, right? Like, doesn't not living with your spouse kind of defeat the purpose of marriage? Not that you have to be married to live together, but isn't marriage all about doing most of your living WITH the spouse?
She tried to act like this was la la la, just a little quirky but totally in a fun and loveable way, la la la. But what kind of guy would want to sign up for that deal? The kind of guy who has a second wife, that he LIVES WITH? My friend always says "there is a lid for every pot" and maybe there is some straight guy out there who wants to be married but not live with his wife.
Here's my thinking on that though: with some things, you've got little quirks and they're part of what make you that much more loveable. At a certain point though, too many quirks or too many big quirks stop being quirks and just make you weird, and not in the good way.
I kept my mouth shut. I'm certainly no expert on marriage, by any stretch. On the walk back to the office, I was with the WASP (married) and office manager (divorced). The office manager told us she chatted with the billing guy about books and movies, and the WASP and I agreed she had a much more appropriate firm lunch conversation than we did.
Then the WASP went off. Complete with f-bomb and everything. About what? About the PA's fantasy marriage. I believe her exact words were, "That's not a fucking marriage!" We all stopped walking, right there on the sidewalk, to stare at her in shock. I mean, she's a WASP! She simply doesn't curse. She wears turtlenecks and low ponytails.
It was really funny to hear her get so riled up. I was glad it wasn't only me who thought the idea of marriage that way was really weird.
Labels: People watching, Work
posted by Green at 7/17/2011 09:06:00 PM
5 Comments:
All i have to say is, thank goodness for the internet! think of how many bizarre quirks (or more) there are out there... the internet has made it so much easier for those pots to find their lids. maybe she can hire the architect to design her castle.
Ha, funny this comes now. After several years of marriage, and reading about how Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton live (adjoining apartments, separate and complete homes within themselves), I wouldn't mind that if I could afford it. Not big on moats though. It would be more fun to visit each other you then.
I think Woody Allen and Mia Farrow tried that. Didn't turn out so well.
I've heard of a "long distance relationship" but not an "impenetrable distance" marriage.
I like to think of myself as non-judgmental - "to each his own," as C's granny says. However, that doesn't sound like a marriage to me. It's more like that guy who says, "My ideal job would be one where they pay me to do whatever I want." Um, that's not a job. That's an allowance and at a certain point you have to grow up. Sounds like she wants a friend-with-benefits, not a spouse.
I've read stories where spouses love each other just drive each other crazy and fight all the time until they move into homes that are right next to each other. It's their business, I guess, so I don't think too much about it.
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