That Email We Knew Was Coming
Barrett has instructed me to respond with, "Thank you for the email Wooffers." My comments are in italics.
Green,
In order to accommodate your needs and avoid conflict, I will need 24 hours notice (via email) when you are having anyone come over to help you with packing and moving. The first half of her sentence starts out with accommodating my needs but the second half ends when her saying what she needs? I made arrangements with [Exboyfriend Who Has Joint Custody] to keep [Aggressive Woof] with him more if needed, but I need to contact him and arrange that as per his request. This time frame will insure that there are no mishaps because you will never have to bring people in without my assistance with the dogs. I don't feel I actually NEED her assistance.
I have explained to you the dangers of mishandling [Aggressive Woof], and you have stated that you understand. I realize you don't relate and possibly don't agree with the degree to which I need to protect him and the public from him. That is neither here nor there at this point, I am going to do what I need to do, and I would appreciate (and also require) your cooperation with this. I will help in any way that I can with your scheduling needs if things are handled in this manner.
Because all of this has been explained to you (and you can find, written in the contract that dog training protocols are decided by me solely) if for any reason you bring someone in without giving me ample notice so that I can remove [Aggressive Woof] or at least monitor him, any injuries incurred by people you bring in (or you, personally) will be your responsibility. I always assumed that any injuries to me, or my people, would be my responsibility, unless Wooffers gave some sort of attack command. Also, the only "dog training protocol" she has ever told me is simply "ignore them, complete with turning your back on the woofs" so it doesn't take a Master Communicator to explain that to anyone I have coming over. I am an elitest bitch and only like smart people, so those are the only types of people I would be having over. Also, all my people are dog people, and know how to deal with dogs, and follow the rules different people have for different dogs. If for any reason [Aggressive Woof] or [Other Woof] incur any injuries as a result of bringing people without giving ample notice you will also be held responsible.
In the future I would also appreciate you letting your friends know that they are not welcome to confront me verbally or raise their voice in this house, no matter what their perception of me. Barrett, I'm letting you know these things. I have never raised my voice to you or called you names nor would I allow my friends to do so to you. What happened yesterday was frightening for me and I now feel unsafe in my own home. Why would she feel unsafe in her own home? Despite all these hoops she is laying out for me to jump through in order to have people over, I am confident that if I announced that Joe Blow was coming over tomorrow night, Wooffers would decide either that it was only 23 hours and 58 minutes notice I gave her, OR, that it is simply not a convenient time (for her) for me to entertain a guest. Also, if she feels her woofs are so prone to violence and yet they love her, then shouldn't she have felt perfectly safe yesterday with Barrett calling her an asshole? Barrett was the one who had no dogs backing her up.
My goal when entering in this with you was to be as honest and direct as I possibly as I could be. Why wasn't her goal to be a good roommate? What the hell do I care if a roommate lies and says "Those jeans look great on you" or "No, I don't mind; I love the smell of tuna fish in the morning? Maybe that's why this whole thing has gone poorly - her priorities are completely different from what I think they should be. I have done my best to do that in a kind way. If you disagree with that I would like to know. If it's easier to send an email to express those feelings, please feel free to use that as a tool. Regardless of how it affects this situation, I am always looking to improve my communication and treatment of others and appreciate the feedback. Right. Like I want to enter into a conversation about feelings and priorities with someone who is not shuffling with a full deck.
We can get through this last 3 weeks without a struggle. Please plan on contacting me via email should you need anything, I check it regularly and will get back to you asap.
Please let me know that you read/received/understand this email. A while back Wooffers sent me an email about something, and then sent a follow-up email stating that she requested a response from me, and that she could see when I had opened my email. First of all, if you can see that, then you don't need me to tell you I received this. Second of all, I use gmail. Anyone know if gmail lets people emailing from another email program lets people see when mail has been opened? This is not MS Outlook - I did not click a little box that said yes, send a receipt to the sender. Thank you for your cooperation.
Wooffers
Green,
In order to accommodate your needs and avoid conflict, I will need 24 hours notice (via email) when you are having anyone come over to help you with packing and moving. The first half of her sentence starts out with accommodating my needs but the second half ends when her saying what she needs? I made arrangements with [Exboyfriend Who Has Joint Custody] to keep [Aggressive Woof] with him more if needed, but I need to contact him and arrange that as per his request. This time frame will insure that there are no mishaps because you will never have to bring people in without my assistance with the dogs. I don't feel I actually NEED her assistance.
I have explained to you the dangers of mishandling [Aggressive Woof], and you have stated that you understand. I realize you don't relate and possibly don't agree with the degree to which I need to protect him and the public from him. That is neither here nor there at this point, I am going to do what I need to do, and I would appreciate (and also require) your cooperation with this. I will help in any way that I can with your scheduling needs if things are handled in this manner.
Because all of this has been explained to you (and you can find, written in the contract that dog training protocols are decided by me solely) if for any reason you bring someone in without giving me ample notice so that I can remove [Aggressive Woof] or at least monitor him, any injuries incurred by people you bring in (or you, personally) will be your responsibility. I always assumed that any injuries to me, or my people, would be my responsibility, unless Wooffers gave some sort of attack command. Also, the only "dog training protocol" she has ever told me is simply "ignore them, complete with turning your back on the woofs" so it doesn't take a Master Communicator to explain that to anyone I have coming over. I am an elitest bitch and only like smart people, so those are the only types of people I would be having over. Also, all my people are dog people, and know how to deal with dogs, and follow the rules different people have for different dogs. If for any reason [Aggressive Woof] or [Other Woof] incur any injuries as a result of bringing people without giving ample notice you will also be held responsible.
In the future I would also appreciate you letting your friends know that they are not welcome to confront me verbally or raise their voice in this house, no matter what their perception of me. Barrett, I'm letting you know these things. I have never raised my voice to you or called you names nor would I allow my friends to do so to you. What happened yesterday was frightening for me and I now feel unsafe in my own home. Why would she feel unsafe in her own home? Despite all these hoops she is laying out for me to jump through in order to have people over, I am confident that if I announced that Joe Blow was coming over tomorrow night, Wooffers would decide either that it was only 23 hours and 58 minutes notice I gave her, OR, that it is simply not a convenient time (for her) for me to entertain a guest. Also, if she feels her woofs are so prone to violence and yet they love her, then shouldn't she have felt perfectly safe yesterday with Barrett calling her an asshole? Barrett was the one who had no dogs backing her up.
My goal when entering in this with you was to be as honest and direct as I possibly as I could be. Why wasn't her goal to be a good roommate? What the hell do I care if a roommate lies and says "Those jeans look great on you" or "No, I don't mind; I love the smell of tuna fish in the morning? Maybe that's why this whole thing has gone poorly - her priorities are completely different from what I think they should be. I have done my best to do that in a kind way. If you disagree with that I would like to know. If it's easier to send an email to express those feelings, please feel free to use that as a tool. Regardless of how it affects this situation, I am always looking to improve my communication and treatment of others and appreciate the feedback. Right. Like I want to enter into a conversation about feelings and priorities with someone who is not shuffling with a full deck.
We can get through this last 3 weeks without a struggle. Please plan on contacting me via email should you need anything, I check it regularly and will get back to you asap.
Please let me know that you read/received/understand this email. A while back Wooffers sent me an email about something, and then sent a follow-up email stating that she requested a response from me, and that she could see when I had opened my email. First of all, if you can see that, then you don't need me to tell you I received this. Second of all, I use gmail. Anyone know if gmail lets people emailing from another email program lets people see when mail has been opened? This is not MS Outlook - I did not click a little box that said yes, send a receipt to the sender. Thank you for your cooperation.
Wooffers
Labels: Batshit Crazy, City Livin, Rage Against the Green, Wooffers
posted by Green at 6/07/2009 10:56:00 PM
19 Comments:
The following is not legal advice. It is merely advice designed to send the bat-shit crazy roommate into a tizzy, while complying technically with the rules in the email she sent you.
Email her back immediately and state that you are happy to engage in "open and honest" communication via email, and to meet her need for at least 24 hours notice of you having guests. Then state that, every day from now until you move, between the hours of ___ and ___ [insert reasonable range of hours here - something like 5 hours a day should be sufficient] and beginning on ____ [date which is 24 hours or more from when you send the email], she should expect that you will be having people over to help you move, and she should consider this email her "24 hours notice via email" for every single day until you move out. State that her ridiculous and possibly illegal roommate "conditions" have made the wildly inconvenient and expensive move necessary, so you expect her to cooperate fully while you arrange to move out.
State further that, if she truly believes you are incapable of handling the aggressive dog, then she must take whatever actions she feels are necessary to make sure no one is harmbed by her dog (which she has now admitted to you in an email - which can be used as evidence against her) is unreasonably aggressive. State that she should keep your guests safe, even if this requires her to keep the dog locked in her bedroom or to leave the dog with the joint-custody "ex" during the stated hours every day until you move out, if necessary. State that if the dog harms a guest, you will indeed call animal control and will hold her fully responsible.
That should send her into a tizzy.
hehehe
oops, forgot to edit that last for spelling...
and I forgot to add, if you are going to respond at all, you should definitely deny that any of your friends have ever raised their voice at her while visiting, and state that she has, and never has had, any reason to fear you or any of your friends, as you have been nothing but nice to her, even in the face of her nutty demands and erratic behavior. State that you have no idea what she is talking about that would have scared her about yesterday; that you and your friend are the ones who are now concerned because she was acting strangely and engaging in erratic behavior and hurling insults at you and your friend. State that, if anyone should be afraid, it is you, since you are living with her and her admittedly aggressive dog that she is now saying she does not think you can control.
Ooooh, this could be fun.
Although I must say, Barrett gives good advice, too. :)
Insane Green. I am so sorry.
I think you should not respond at all. Ignore her and go on with your business and have people over when you want, and stop asking her if it is OK. I think you are well within your rights since she kicked you out after 2 days.
You need people to help you move and it is so ridiculous to have to give her 24 hours notice. I still can't believe she is an adult behaving this way.
Barrett's advice is excellent. Maybe a hybrid of that and LegalMist's:
"Thank you for your email, Woofers. Per your request, I am hereby notifying you that I intend to have guests between 6pm and 9pm every day between [24 hours from now] and [move out date] to assist me with packing and moving. If it happens that I will not be having guests on any of those days after all, I'll let you know by email as soon as I'm aware of it.
Green"
What a nightmare
I can't add much to the excellent advice you've already received except to observe that (1) if a person has a dog that is so dangerous that she needs to "protect the public" from it, that person should not be having roommates at all; and (2) if a person is insane enough to think that they are going to limit visiting hours/number of guests/require advance notice of guests, etc. for a roomate, they need to spell that out in detail, in writing, before hand. Do you know if she had roommates before? It makes me think that she just needed money short term and was looking for reasons to evict you from the moment you moved in. Either that or, you know, she's batshit insane.
Woofers is very lucky she got you for a roommate instead of me, or your friend Barrett - at this point I would be pissed off enough to be trying to make her life a living hell for the last few weeks. Also, I'm not a landlord/tenant lawyer, but I'd look into whether there's a cause of action in CA for constructive eviction, and what the standards are. That might be a fun little small claims court project. As LegalMist said, document, document, document.
I have Gmail and as far as I know the feature you questioned in NOT available.
Second and most importantly, if you saw someone standing naked on the street, hopping on one foot and whistling Dixie, you would pass them and assume they were insane and not heed anything that was requested of you by that person. Why not just assume the same with your sick roommate and go about your move as you would if no one was interrupting it?
Mel in Scottsdale
Are you paying Half The Rent? If you are, then she has NO RIGHT TO ASK YOU TO ASK FOR PERMISSION TO HAVE GUESTS OVER. If she is merely renting out A Room, then this is something that should have been made Very Clear prior to moving in because it is Not Normal.
What everyone else said. Tell her you will be having Guests Every Single Day.
xoxo,
TDR
I'm with a hybrid of the other comments too: Write back Barrett's suggested response, then have people over whenever you want and if she says anything more about the dog, tell her you'll call Animal Control.
I was going to suggest the same thing LegalMist did...inform her of guests every single day until you move. I also agree with what he said about you not admitting that your guest raised her voice to ehr...
once again..sorry.
love,the gilmore to your barrett
I think this sums up the problem quite nicely: "I am always looking to improve my communication and treatment of others and appreciate the feedback." That's not your job or your problem or your responsibility.
I agree with what everyone else said.
If I didn't know you better, I'd almost think you were making this up. She really has some problems.
I'd threaten to sue her. I'm sure you can find a legal aid or pro bono lawyer.
I agree with all of the above advice. But, personally, I think I would be so crazy in your permission I would dognap one of the woofs while moving out.
What a crazy f'ing bitch. I'm so sorry. I am torn between ignoring her and sending her an email with all the stuff above. I can't deal.
Oh mah gawd. I mean... oh. mah. gawd. What a freaking nutjob. I'm not sure what I can do from down here but PLEASE tell me if I can do anything to help you.
Veyismere.
What a loon. I almost wouldn't believe it possible for people to really behave that way, except I had some complete lunatics for roommates in college. So I get how crazy people can be. Love everyone's suggestions to put her on notice for guests being there every day.
i still want to hear your psycho analysis of this woman! whats up with ignoring the dogs?? that's just weird.
I echo all the comments above.
Just an addition:
When you let her know that you WILL be having people over (not if you may, but that YOU WILL), add a note at the end stating that your asking for her permission is neither necessary nor appropriate, but that you're doing it only to appease her. Do not give into her ridiculous demands, she might think she actually has the right to make them. Let her know you think it's bullshit (in nicer words, perhaps).
You're more patient than I'll ever be, by the way.
Dude. This chick is a complete whack job. You are a brave, brave soul. I'd be worried she'd boil my bunny.
I have no words...this woman is so fucking insane -- and believe me, I know crazy -- it's unbelievable that she can function at all.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap, and so glad you're getting the FUCK out of Dodge.
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