Open and Closed
9am was out of town for a week, and returned yesterday. We were catching up with each other for a little while after I got home from work.
When he asked me what he'd missed in the world:
Me: Dr. Dre's son died.
9am: From what? A gang-related shootout?
On telling me about his flight home:
9am: Virgin Atlantic is very metrosexual; their planes have purple.
This last one was the most upsetting. A friend who lives nearby and visits often has a little girl who just started school this week. On her first day, she wrote me a letter and drew a picture which I put up on our fridge, swapping out an older picture she'd drawn a while ago. 9am noticed the change of kiddie pictures in the kitchen, and asked if she'd started kindergarten or first grade.
Me: Kindergarten
9am: She's smart. Why isn't she in first grade?
Me: You have to be six to be in first grade. She won't turn six until there are only three or four months left of the school year.
9am: Well that'll work to her advantage when she's a teenager.
Me: It will?
9am: Sure, she'll be older than the majority of girls in her grade, so she'll develop earlier (here's where the horrified look spread across my face initially) and will get all the boys.
Me: ....!
9am: What?
Me: First of all, you're wrong. Second of all, you can't talk about a five year old that way. Third of all, [my friend] would NEVER raise her daughter to only see her self-worth in what her body, something she has no control over, can get her, in terms of boys. Fourthly, [my friend] has a smart enough kid that she will not like boys who only like her for how her body looks. Fifthly, how do you know she'll grow up and be attracted to boys?
9am: Oh, come on now, why would you say that?
Me: Because it's that attitude that adds to making it so difficult for teenagers to come out - the attitude that everyone expects them to be attracted to members of the opposite sex.
At this point 9am can see he's upset me, and I think he knew he'd done something vaguely wrong, though he didn't understand exactly what. After dinner I was still upset about our talk, and how he managed to express his closed-mindedness so frequently in such a short amount of time, and was chatting with a friend about it.
She used the term misogynistic to describe 9am, after hearing about some of the other gems he's spoken, particularly those regarding the kind of woman he expects to marry. I have a real bug up my ass about people who go running around spouting off about how open-minded they are. Why? Because to me, the real test of open-mindedness is being open-minded to people who are not as open-minded as you are. So I was a bit surprised at the misogynistic title.
I don't think of myself as particularly open-minded at all. A concsious effort is made to see things from other people's points of view, and I feel no need to lable myself as either open or closed-minded. But 9am and I have had numerous talks, many of them ending with us agreeing to disagree, and with a bad taste in my mouth.
I think my friend was right. 9am is misogynistic. Among other things
When he asked me what he'd missed in the world:
Me: Dr. Dre's son died.
9am: From what? A gang-related shootout?
On telling me about his flight home:
9am: Virgin Atlantic is very metrosexual; their planes have purple.
This last one was the most upsetting. A friend who lives nearby and visits often has a little girl who just started school this week. On her first day, she wrote me a letter and drew a picture which I put up on our fridge, swapping out an older picture she'd drawn a while ago. 9am noticed the change of kiddie pictures in the kitchen, and asked if she'd started kindergarten or first grade.
Me: Kindergarten
9am: She's smart. Why isn't she in first grade?
Me: You have to be six to be in first grade. She won't turn six until there are only three or four months left of the school year.
9am: Well that'll work to her advantage when she's a teenager.
Me: It will?
9am: Sure, she'll be older than the majority of girls in her grade, so she'll develop earlier (here's where the horrified look spread across my face initially) and will get all the boys.
Me: ....!
9am: What?
Me: First of all, you're wrong. Second of all, you can't talk about a five year old that way. Third of all, [my friend] would NEVER raise her daughter to only see her self-worth in what her body, something she has no control over, can get her, in terms of boys. Fourthly, [my friend] has a smart enough kid that she will not like boys who only like her for how her body looks. Fifthly, how do you know she'll grow up and be attracted to boys?
9am: Oh, come on now, why would you say that?
Me: Because it's that attitude that adds to making it so difficult for teenagers to come out - the attitude that everyone expects them to be attracted to members of the opposite sex.
At this point 9am can see he's upset me, and I think he knew he'd done something vaguely wrong, though he didn't understand exactly what. After dinner I was still upset about our talk, and how he managed to express his closed-mindedness so frequently in such a short amount of time, and was chatting with a friend about it.
She used the term misogynistic to describe 9am, after hearing about some of the other gems he's spoken, particularly those regarding the kind of woman he expects to marry. I have a real bug up my ass about people who go running around spouting off about how open-minded they are. Why? Because to me, the real test of open-mindedness is being open-minded to people who are not as open-minded as you are. So I was a bit surprised at the misogynistic title.
I don't think of myself as particularly open-minded at all. A concsious effort is made to see things from other people's points of view, and I feel no need to lable myself as either open or closed-minded. But 9am and I have had numerous talks, many of them ending with us agreeing to disagree, and with a bad taste in my mouth.
I think my friend was right. 9am is misogynistic. Among other things
Labels: 9am, Kindergarten, Overthinking, Potential Depth, Shock and Awe
posted by Green at 8/27/2008 10:00:00 AM
5 Comments:
Ugh. Just, ugh.
he's a fucking IDIOT. plain and simple. a real motherfucking tool.
Dude... there's no amount of open-mindedness that will forgive misogynists.
...wait, when did I spout off about how open-minded I am? I only spout off about how close-minded others are. BIG difference.
Oh. Oh my. I am not sure how some people manage to say so many things wrong so effortlessly. I would like to think that it would require some plannng on my part to wedge my foot so deeply in my mouth.
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