Too Insane To Make Up
Church of Scientology: Hi, can I speak with [name of family dog]?
Me: Who's calling?
CoS: Melissa from the Church of Scientology, is this [name of family dog]?
Melissa: Well, could I speak with her?
Melissa: Ummm.... may I ask why?
Me: Two reasons. First, she's a dog, and secondly, she's been dead for over a decade.
Me: Okay, so bye.
Melissa: Hi, may I speak with [name of family dog]?
Me: Melissa, I already told you no and explained why not.
Melissa: Yes, but why would you say that?
Me: Because Jesus instructs me to always tell the truth. Don't call back. Bye.