Now That the Olympics Are Over

Was anyone else annoyed by all the commercials that either subtlety or not so subtletly referred to the Olympics? McDonalds, with a commercial involve kiddie soccer games? Johnson & Johnson, with their Mama Phelps commercials?

You may feel moved to leave me a comment at this point reminding me these companies were sponsors of the Olympics. No need, I know. But here's my question: with how disgustingly unhealthy McDonalds is, what Olympic athlete in their right mind would eat that shit?

Prepare to hate me and think I'm way too impressed with myself. Ready? Okay. Look, I know I'm smarter than the average consumer. Having a father who was in sales when you were growing up can do that to a person. So I know that it's not realistic to ask companies to cater to a higher intellect, when that's not the average consumer, their target.

But even so, I'd really seriously appreciate not seeing a commercial and feeling like the company is trying to manipulate me. "I'm watching the Olympics. The Olympics are good. Oh, McDonalds has an Olympics commercial. McDonalds is good. I am hungry. Let me go eat McDonalds. Like Olympians do." Do the Olympic sponsors truly think I'm going to see their involvement and run right out in my Adidas sneakers to buy a Panasonic tv and a Samsung dvd player while sipping a Coke as I pay with my Visa?

How come Trader Joe's isn't sponsoring? I mean, okay I can see how maybe they can't afford to pay for the entire gymnastics team's stay in the Olympic Village, but that doesn't mean they couldn't pay for say... a nice organic fruit basket to be delivered or something? I donate when I am moved by the cause, even when I'm embarrassed about how little I can afford to give.

For years I have said there should be some card or badge you can flash when in stores and restaurants, that indicates, "I know what I want. Do not waste my time and yours trying to upsell." Think about it. You're in a restaurant. You're full. You're taking home half your meal to eat for lunch tomorrow because all restaurants serve way more than one portion. The waitstaff comes over and asks if you'd like dessert. "No thank you, just the check, please." In my mind at that point, the only acceptable thing to do is to go get the check. Not to start quickly rattling off the desserts.

I know. Restaurant managers push the waitstaff to upsell. It's their job, they could get fired if they don't. Hey, I know - I read Waiter Rant. I'm cool with that. I'm happy to blame the managers. Restaurant Managers, it makes me not want to come back to your restaurant when you force your waitstaff to upsell to me. Also, you will never hear me say, "You know, now that you mention it, yes, I do think I'd like a cocktail after all!" So you're forcing your staff to waste their time on me when they could be talking someone else into having some coffee.

A couple of months ago I was in a store and trying on a sweater. It was a beautiful color, and almost fit me. But not quite. And I had nothing to wear it with at home. The saleslady saw me and told me I looked beautiful. I smiled (and did not roll my eyes) and thanked her. Before turning away from the mirror, I knew I was not buying the sweater. The saleswoman, after complimenting me, asked if i was going to get it. No, I told her, and showed her how it didn't lay quite right, and explaining it didn't go with anything I had at home. She waved her hand, "Oh, nobody will notice." I looked her right in the eyes. "I notice." She told me I should buy the sweater anyway, because "that way you'll have it."

In case of ... a fire? A shortage on sweaters? A sweater-bandit sweeping the Bay Area? I walked out of the store without buying anything, and plan on not going back. No, I'm not delusional - I know they won't notice my absence. But I like protesting things I disagree with, and *I* notice what I'm doing, and why. It's a shame - perfectly nice clothing store. While their regularly-priced items are too expensive for me their sale rack is always plentiful and priced within my range. Yes, another reason that store won't care about losing me as a customer - I always check out sale racks first upon entering any clothing store.

Nothing is going to change, I know that. But you can bet if I ever open up my own clothing store (which I named around age 11), the marketing and advertising will be hella tight, and the salespeople will not do pressure sales at all.