Hi. Can I Come Over?
... to use your bathroom? I came home from work today and thought nothing of it when I heard what sounded like the people who live above me taking a shower.
The sound of rushing water sounded a little different, but I remembered my bathroom window was still open from my shower this morning (my attempt to combat mold since there's no bathroom fan), and figured maybe the upstairs neighbors had their window open too. That could be why the water sound was different, right?
Wrong. I glanced into my bathroom and saw, well, what you see to the right. It's all over the floor. I promptly freaked out, called my landlord, listened to the outgoing voice mail message to get the phone number for the nudist handyman who lives in the building, and called him. It was about 6:15 in the evening.
Ole' Nudey was not pleased to be interrupted. But I begged and implored him! My bathroom is unusable! That won't do. Plus, this is exactly the type of thing you're supposed to call him about. I wasn't calling to say a light bulb was out, or that my neighbors were being annoying. I was calling to say there's a flood of sludge all over my bathroom floor and I can't tell where it's coming from (and I have to pee)!
So Ole' Nudey puts down his blunt, puts on his clothes (maybe that happened in the opposite order; I wasn't there) and comes up to my apartment. He peaks into the bathroom after I point towards it, and asks me, "What happened?"
"I have no idea! I just came home from work and saw this and then promptly called you." Ole' Nudey proceeded to repeatedly accuse me of tampering with the piping underneath the sink. Bitch, please. I fucking wash my hands for 30 seconds any time I accidentally bump my hand against the pipes getting anything. I would never purposely touch pipes! Can he not SEE how prissy I am? Why on earth would I futz around with pipes? That's just utter and complete crazy-talk!
This is the same guy who kept accusing me of flushing tampons down my toilet (never) when the real problem was there wasn't enough water pressure when I first moved here. I don't know if it's me, or Ole' Nudey is this accusatory with everyone, but it infuriates me. Any time I have to interact with this guy he accuses me of causing the problem.
Ole' Nudey's solution to my bathroom problem was to go to the apartment below and next to me to tell my neighbors not to use their bathroom sink until tomorrow. Oh, and to tell me he'll have somebody come by tomorrow to fix my sink. So I should just not use my bathroom at all until after it's all been fixed tomorrow. Because I have no problem going more than 12 hours without peeing. Ole' Nudey suggested I just use my kitchen sink instead of my bathroom sink. If there are guys peeing into their sinks, I don't want to know about it. I'll just take this moment to let you know that I have never in my life peed into any sink of any kind. Once, I went to this girl Juliet's house and we went to a nearby playground. I needed to pee and she tried to tell me to go in the bushes but I wouldn't, and she got angry at having to bring me back to her house.
My friend came over and calmed me down. She then bravely stepped INTO THE SLUDGE (and as she pointed out, let's all appreciate that as gross as it is, at least it's sink sludge and not toilet sludge) to lay down about half a dozen plastic garbage bags so I can at least step into the bathroom on top of the bags to use my toilet until I get to work tomorrow. In the top picture you can see the bags along the bottom third of it.
The second picture is a makeup bag formerly kept in a basket formerly kept under the sink, that now has sink sludge all over it. It will all be thrown out. As will the bathmat which got sink sludge in it too. As horrible as this is, I am so relieved to be in a place financially where throwing out something doesn't make me cry, and having to replace something doesn't cause a panic.
Okay. So. If you need me, I'll be rocking back and forth in my chair and trying not to scratch the hives that have popped up on the insides of my wrists. To think these fuckers are raising my rent in July.
 | |
The sound of rushing water sounded a little different, but I remembered my bathroom window was still open from my shower this morning (my attempt to combat mold since there's no bathroom fan), and figured maybe the upstairs neighbors had their window open too. That could be why the water sound was different, right?
Wrong. I glanced into my bathroom and saw, well, what you see to the right. It's all over the floor. I promptly freaked out, called my landlord, listened to the outgoing voice mail message to get the phone number for the nudist handyman who lives in the building, and called him. It was about 6:15 in the evening.
Ole' Nudey was not pleased to be interrupted. But I begged and implored him! My bathroom is unusable! That won't do. Plus, this is exactly the type of thing you're supposed to call him about. I wasn't calling to say a light bulb was out, or that my neighbors were being annoying. I was calling to say there's a flood of sludge all over my bathroom floor and I can't tell where it's coming from (and I have to pee)!
So Ole' Nudey puts down his blunt, puts on his clothes (maybe that happened in the opposite order; I wasn't there) and comes up to my apartment. He peaks into the bathroom after I point towards it, and asks me, "What happened?"
"I have no idea! I just came home from work and saw this and then promptly called you." Ole' Nudey proceeded to repeatedly accuse me of tampering with the piping underneath the sink. Bitch, please. I fucking wash my hands for 30 seconds any time I accidentally bump my hand against the pipes getting anything. I would never purposely touch pipes! Can he not SEE how prissy I am? Why on earth would I futz around with pipes? That's just utter and complete crazy-talk!
This is the same guy who kept accusing me of flushing tampons down my toilet (never) when the real problem was there wasn't enough water pressure when I first moved here. I don't know if it's me, or Ole' Nudey is this accusatory with everyone, but it infuriates me. Any time I have to interact with this guy he accuses me of causing the problem.
Ole' Nudey's solution to my bathroom problem was to go to the apartment below and next to me to tell my neighbors not to use their bathroom sink until tomorrow. Oh, and to tell me he'll have somebody come by tomorrow to fix my sink. So I should just not use my bathroom at all until after it's all been fixed tomorrow. Because I have no problem going more than 12 hours without peeing. Ole' Nudey suggested I just use my kitchen sink instead of my bathroom sink. If there are guys peeing into their sinks, I don't want to know about it. I'll just take this moment to let you know that I have never in my life peed into any sink of any kind. Once, I went to this girl Juliet's house and we went to a nearby playground. I needed to pee and she tried to tell me to go in the bushes but I wouldn't, and she got angry at having to bring me back to her house.
 | |
My friend came over and calmed me down. She then bravely stepped INTO THE SLUDGE (and as she pointed out, let's all appreciate that as gross as it is, at least it's sink sludge and not toilet sludge) to lay down about half a dozen plastic garbage bags so I can at least step into the bathroom on top of the bags to use my toilet until I get to work tomorrow. In the top picture you can see the bags along the bottom third of it.
The second picture is a makeup bag formerly kept in a basket formerly kept under the sink, that now has sink sludge all over it. It will all be thrown out. As will the bathmat which got sink sludge in it too. As horrible as this is, I am so relieved to be in a place financially where throwing out something doesn't make me cry, and having to replace something doesn't cause a panic.
Okay. So. If you need me, I'll be rocking back and forth in my chair and trying not to scratch the hives that have popped up on the insides of my wrists. To think these fuckers are raising my rent in July.
Labels: Harshing Your Mellow, On the Homefront, Rage Against the Green
posted by Green at 6/03/2013 07:52:00 PM
1 Comments:
sounds like they could add your bathroom to that recent article on reasons to NOTmove to SF
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