Offended, Schmoffended
Remember the Asian-American* co-worker who helped me out with Steamroller's parents moving in? She has a son. Right after I arrived here, she went out on maternity leave. When her son comes to the office to visit, he never cries when he gets passed to me. The time he spit up at work, it was after I'd given him to the next person (I'll let you guess which grandma).
Anyway. I was chatting with this co-worker today about the holidays and jokingly told her that for my Hanukah present she could bring her baby in for a visit any one of the eight days, and that'd be a fine present.
Turns out she didn't know what Hanukah was. So I gave her the oil-lasting-for-eight-nights-miracle spiel. I explained that Hanukah does not hold the same importance for Jews that Christmas does for Christians.
"What is the most important holiday? The bar mitzvah?"
No, I did not laugh. I explained what a bar mitzvah is, and that it is not a holiday, but a ceremony. Co-worker asked what kosher means. She asked about pork. She asked if kosher people can eat a cube of cheese in the same meal that they eat a hamburger (I do not know). She asked about orthodox people. Co-worker got very excited and told me that her husband (who is Italian) loves learning this kind of stuff and will be so impressed with her when she goes home and tells him about it. She asked if she was offending me. No, of course not.
I'm never offended by people not knowing about things like this. She's asking. She's learning. The only way the conversation could have gone better is if one of us could have billed a client for it.
*My co-worker was born in San Francisco. Her mother was born in China. So is the co-worker Asian-American? I've never heard of anyone being called American-Asian. How is it decided which comes first? Are there rules for this?
Anyway. I was chatting with this co-worker today about the holidays and jokingly told her that for my Hanukah present she could bring her baby in for a visit any one of the eight days, and that'd be a fine present.
Turns out she didn't know what Hanukah was. So I gave her the oil-lasting-for-eight-nights-miracle spiel. I explained that Hanukah does not hold the same importance for Jews that Christmas does for Christians.
"What is the most important holiday? The bar mitzvah?"
No, I did not laugh. I explained what a bar mitzvah is, and that it is not a holiday, but a ceremony. Co-worker asked what kosher means. She asked about pork. She asked if kosher people can eat a cube of cheese in the same meal that they eat a hamburger (I do not know). She asked about orthodox people. Co-worker got very excited and told me that her husband (who is Italian) loves learning this kind of stuff and will be so impressed with her when she goes home and tells him about it. She asked if she was offending me. No, of course not.
I'm never offended by people not knowing about things like this. She's asking. She's learning. The only way the conversation could have gone better is if one of us could have billed a client for it.
*My co-worker was born in San Francisco. Her mother was born in China. So is the co-worker Asian-American? I've never heard of anyone being called American-Asian. How is it decided which comes first? Are there rules for this?
posted by Green at 12/05/2006 07:12:00 AM
5 Comments:
There's not really any rules for this kind of thing. But I always thought it was just to pay respect to the country you "come from" to put it first. Of course, that could very well be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of and repeated.
If the person is American, the word before specifies their ancestry. Thus, Asian American is appropriate in this case.
And no, no cheese and meat in the same meal.
What plain(s)feminist said. The whole "[insert ethnicity here]-American" thing is pretty much only used in America, and "American" always comes last. (British people would never call a British black person "African-British" or a Brit of Arab ancestry "Arab-British."
There are actually observant Orthodox Jews who will eat dairy followed by meat in the same meal (say, blintzes with sour cream for an appetizer, then drink a glass of water and go on to the brisket), but never the other way round.
In general, observant Jews will wait longer to eat dairy after meat, than they will to eat meat after dairy.
I stand corrected. What I said is correct for "dairy" in general (e.g., my sour cream example), but not for cheese. And you have to eat something solid and parve between the dairy and the meat.
Meat may be eaten following dairy products with the one exception of hard cheese that is aged 6 months or more, which requires the same waiting time as that of dairy after meat. Prior to eating meat after dairy, one must eat a solid food, either drink a liquid or thoroughly rinse one’s mouth, and check the cleanliness of ones hands.
according to Orthodox rules, you must wait at least six hours after consuming meat to eat dairy.
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