You're (Not) Fired
As you may remember, I was a bit freaked out about my review a couple of weeks ago. I was sure that in thinking about my work, my bosses would realize there was no good reason to keep me at the firm, and fire me before I could steal any good office supplies.
The other day it occurred to me that my review should be on the system somewhere, and that's how I came to waste some time looking for it.
I found the evaluation Tuna filled out about me. It's okay, but not great. Nothing I'll get fired over (especially since he's an associate rather than a partner).
Green generally performs her work promptly and efficiently, and she knows her job reasonably well; she needs to gain a better knowledge of Word, but that will come as she gains experience.
My knowledge of Word is ... decent. I couldn't be in the Word Processing Department, but any time Tuna asks me to do something fancy involving TOCs or TOAs I can almost always do it. Sometimes. Like maybe half the time. (No, I'm not being defensive at all, why do you ask?)
Green is very good with clients and responsive to them. She needs to improve the thoroughness and accuracy of her work, which she has the ability to do.
Ummm... I think once he asked me to type something and I didn't spellcheck it. Damn, what a memory.
Green is dependable and reliable on projects, always on time for work, willing to stay late when necessary, and conscientious of others.
That's right. I am. You can depend and rely on me, unless you need anything fancy done in Word, or anything done thoroughly or accurately apparently.
Green has excellent problem-solving skills and is flexible and easy to work with, very able to grasp and retain explanations. She needs to improve in terms of taking initiative and self-motivation.
I really am fucking awesome at problem-solving. I wish I could be a professional problem solver; I'd be great at that. Perhaps I'd take greater initiative if I knew what the fuck was going on.
Green is quite stable, mature and professional about her job, and cooperates well with everyone.
I really appreciate this one; I put a lot of effort into being more than civil to LEL, even when she's being mean to me. Plus I grew up being told indirectly that I was unstable, and being told directly that I was immature. And actually, in the absolute worst review I ever got (where I cried right there in the meeting with my boss, through the ENTIRE meeting), I was told I didn't dress professionally enough. I was MORTIFIED.
Green generally performs her job efficiently and prioritizes her work well.
Well alrighty. Excellent, thank you for noticing.
Green is an overall solid performer. She has the ability to do excellent work, and continues to improve. She needs to develop more passion and enthusiasm for the work.
Soooo... I'm not working up to my potential? Yeah. Here's the thing. I DON'T have passion for the kind of law I do. It's a boring subset of a boring kind of law. Even more boring than the regular boring practice areas. So it's hard to be passionnate about it. Especially because I don't understand most of it.
When I first started working in a law firm, I had a boss who was totally happy to answer any question I had. She encouraged me to read every single document in a file, all her books, everything in the office. After a while I learned the secret to understanding what's going on in any case: read the Complaint. The Complaint will tell you what the major issue is.
But with the area I work in now, there are rarely any Complaints filed. And often I don't know what cases my bosses are working on until I'm putting their time in. In fact, I get most of my information about cases from the timesheets. "Prepare and revise case management statement." Ahhh, well this tells me a case management hearing must be coming up soon. Great. Except, not really, because I still don't know what the case is about! I mean, I know what it MUST be about, because it's in my department, but I don't know the details of who's angry at whom, and for what.
Really, I need my attorneys to sit me down and give me two minute summaries on each case we're working on. Before you roll your eyes and start cursing me out, I know. I know I'm supposed to be able to figure this shit out on my own. Welcome to my learning disabilities, where I can't read a paragraph and tell you what the paragraph is about in one sentence. My reading comprehension SUCKS. I'm not saying those two minute summaries are what the lawyers should be giving me. I'm saying it's what I need in order to understand, and then, give a shit. Hopefully. Some of this stuff is frightfully dull, to be honest.
Sometimes, I AM kind of enthusiastic about what I'm doing. But I keep that toned down, because I know I don't fully understand what's going on, and I don't want to blurt out something stupid. I figure it's best to keep my mouth shut in those situations.
So that's my review from Tuna. I wish I could find my review from Nice Partner. His opinion carries a lot of weight since he's who I work with most frequently. I assume he would say that I'm pleasant to work with but make too many stupid mistakes and should pay greater attention to detail, while also keeping track of the bigger picture. And he'd be right. I am disgusted by all the mistakes I make, and how often I forget what he says to me. It's frustrating that I can't do better. Frustrating that I have to console myself with the realization that for me, it's impressive to have made it in one law firm for over a year now.
At least I get to go to work tomorrow.
The other day it occurred to me that my review should be on the system somewhere, and that's how I came to waste some time looking for it.
I found the evaluation Tuna filled out about me. It's okay, but not great. Nothing I'll get fired over (especially since he's an associate rather than a partner).
Green generally performs her work promptly and efficiently, and she knows her job reasonably well; she needs to gain a better knowledge of Word, but that will come as she gains experience.
My knowledge of Word is ... decent. I couldn't be in the Word Processing Department, but any time Tuna asks me to do something fancy involving TOCs or TOAs I can almost always do it. Sometimes. Like maybe half the time. (No, I'm not being defensive at all, why do you ask?)
Green is very good with clients and responsive to them. She needs to improve the thoroughness and accuracy of her work, which she has the ability to do.
Ummm... I think once he asked me to type something and I didn't spellcheck it. Damn, what a memory.
Green is dependable and reliable on projects, always on time for work, willing to stay late when necessary, and conscientious of others.
That's right. I am. You can depend and rely on me, unless you need anything fancy done in Word, or anything done thoroughly or accurately apparently.
Green has excellent problem-solving skills and is flexible and easy to work with, very able to grasp and retain explanations. She needs to improve in terms of taking initiative and self-motivation.
I really am fucking awesome at problem-solving. I wish I could be a professional problem solver; I'd be great at that. Perhaps I'd take greater initiative if I knew what the fuck was going on.
Green is quite stable, mature and professional about her job, and cooperates well with everyone.
I really appreciate this one; I put a lot of effort into being more than civil to LEL, even when she's being mean to me. Plus I grew up being told indirectly that I was unstable, and being told directly that I was immature. And actually, in the absolute worst review I ever got (where I cried right there in the meeting with my boss, through the ENTIRE meeting), I was told I didn't dress professionally enough. I was MORTIFIED.
Green generally performs her job efficiently and prioritizes her work well.
Well alrighty. Excellent, thank you for noticing.
Green is an overall solid performer. She has the ability to do excellent work, and continues to improve. She needs to develop more passion and enthusiasm for the work.
Soooo... I'm not working up to my potential? Yeah. Here's the thing. I DON'T have passion for the kind of law I do. It's a boring subset of a boring kind of law. Even more boring than the regular boring practice areas. So it's hard to be passionnate about it. Especially because I don't understand most of it.
When I first started working in a law firm, I had a boss who was totally happy to answer any question I had. She encouraged me to read every single document in a file, all her books, everything in the office. After a while I learned the secret to understanding what's going on in any case: read the Complaint. The Complaint will tell you what the major issue is.
But with the area I work in now, there are rarely any Complaints filed. And often I don't know what cases my bosses are working on until I'm putting their time in. In fact, I get most of my information about cases from the timesheets. "Prepare and revise case management statement." Ahhh, well this tells me a case management hearing must be coming up soon. Great. Except, not really, because I still don't know what the case is about! I mean, I know what it MUST be about, because it's in my department, but I don't know the details of who's angry at whom, and for what.
Really, I need my attorneys to sit me down and give me two minute summaries on each case we're working on. Before you roll your eyes and start cursing me out, I know. I know I'm supposed to be able to figure this shit out on my own. Welcome to my learning disabilities, where I can't read a paragraph and tell you what the paragraph is about in one sentence. My reading comprehension SUCKS. I'm not saying those two minute summaries are what the lawyers should be giving me. I'm saying it's what I need in order to understand, and then, give a shit. Hopefully. Some of this stuff is frightfully dull, to be honest.
Sometimes, I AM kind of enthusiastic about what I'm doing. But I keep that toned down, because I know I don't fully understand what's going on, and I don't want to blurt out something stupid. I figure it's best to keep my mouth shut in those situations.
So that's my review from Tuna. I wish I could find my review from Nice Partner. His opinion carries a lot of weight since he's who I work with most frequently. I assume he would say that I'm pleasant to work with but make too many stupid mistakes and should pay greater attention to detail, while also keeping track of the bigger picture. And he'd be right. I am disgusted by all the mistakes I make, and how often I forget what he says to me. It's frustrating that I can't do better. Frustrating that I have to console myself with the realization that for me, it's impressive to have made it in one law firm for over a year now.
At least I get to go to work tomorrow.
posted by Green at 11/29/2006 09:29:00 PM
6 Comments:
I feel lucky to have my job sometimes, too. But my boss can be such a douche sometimes that I forget to be grateful.
You're doing great! They just have to say some negative stuff to temper it or you'll be tempted to ask for a tremendous raise. ;)
They always say something about needing to improve. If they don't, they feel like they are really doing their job. Even if they were tremendously happy with everything you did, they would still find something. If they just say, "She's wonderful and perfect and a joy to work with," people will wonder if they even really did a review at all or - gasp - if there was a little sumthin' sumthin' going on - wink, wink.
So don't take it too personally. You're still not fired, after all, right?
It is review time at my firm, also. I thought I might get another great review and a 'generous' 3% raise again this year. I could be wrong though, because I had to call in sick yesterday and today. My little girl has strep, and she has to come first. I updated my resume just in case though...you just never know, do you?
I remember from my time in the corporate world that nobody gets a 100% excellent review. I guess that's supposed to mirror that "We ALL have room for improvement" adage.
I had to laugh at the "passion and enthusiasm" segment. If you were passionate and enthusiastic about the dry topics in which you work, wouldn't you be labeled a nerd? Artists are passionate, some teachers are passionate, civil rights workers are passionate about the work they do. Law firm staff? Not so much, in my limited experience.
Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. And trip LEL for me, will ya?
You know Green, when are you going to get it? Huh?
I've been reading your posts for months and I, too, work in legal as a secretary.
That what they write b/c they are big shits. I have access to the bonus and THEY get appx $65,000 - $85,000 bonus. So, of course, they write the shit you seem to accept. You make 2-3 to maybe 50 mistakes, they make more and get to cover it. And what do you get? It's embarrassing to contemplate and you're begging to do more. They should be grateful for what you do.
I am totally disgusted, stop being so grateful, they don't deserve it. Really, be like LEL, you'll get the same no matter what.
Caryn
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