Oh No She Di'in't
As if it hasn't been enough that Mr. Steamroller has spent more than 75% of each week sleeping here. As if it hasn't been enough that Mr. Steamroller has been here at times when Steamroller herself hasn't been here. As if it hasn't been enough that Mr. Steamroller has contributed to mess, disappearing paper towels, and our front door being left open and/or unlocked.
I get this e-mail:
From: Steamroller
To: GreenYogurt
Subject: Parents' visit
Date: 8/26/2006 9:21:43 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
Green,
Sorry! I should have told you earlier :) My parents are planning to visit me next week starting 8/29 (yay!) and will stay here for about a month. Hope you won't mind! They will spend most of their time in my room :P and as far as use of kitchen is concerned, my mother is a very tidy housewife :) and we can work out what "cooking schedules" will work. Hopefully that sounds good to you. Thanks! Let me know~
Take care,
Steamroller
Fuck. No. So I just sent her back a response with one line: We need to talk. Because quite frankly, this does NOT sound good to me. AT. ALL. In fact, this sounds downright unacceptable to me. I do NOT want to live with parents. If I did, I have my own parents to go live with. I only wanted ONE roommate. Not one roommate who is my age, and two other senior citizen roommates from China. BULLSHIT her parents will spend "most of their time" in her bedroom. BULL FUCKING SHIT.
Absofuckinglutely not. Now I get the point that they're coming all the way from China to see their very only child in another country, and that's why they want to stay for a month. However. They simply can NOT stay here. I'm thinking anything over a week is really too much.
I just read my lease to see if there's anything in it that will help my cause. There isn't. It's frustratingly, California-ily vague as it avoids the entire issue of guests. In fact, to read the lease, no guests of any kind are ever allowed, based on this: "The apartment shall be .... occupied only by the persons specified and set out above..... Occupancy of the Apartment by any person or persons not named as Resident will be cause for immediate termination of the Lease and eviction of all occupants."
The way I interpret that is absolutely no guests are ever allowed in for any circumstances, though they don't define the words "occupied" and "Occupancy." Surely they don't mean no guests are ever allowed at all. I wish they'd defined this.
Yeah, so I'm beyond livid right now. Rage is coursing through my veins. Welcome home.
UPDATE: This morning I called Steamroller and told her that her parents simply can not stay for an entire month. I blamed it on our lease, saying that I would not put her in a position of violating the lease in such a way that we can get kicked out, and she can't do that to me. It was not a comfortable conversation for either of us. Ultimately she asked how long I would be okay with them staying, offering up three or four days. I said one week would be fine with me.
Mid-morning I got an e-mail from her saying they'd be staying in a hotel for three of the four weeks they'll be in town, and with us for the first week of their stay in the U.S. She asked if they could use the kitchen, explaining they have some dietary restrictions that restaurants won't be able to work with. My response was that as long as we both make a point to clean up after each meal, I'm sure we'll do fine, and she should let me know if she needs more space in the fridge/freezer/cabinets and I'll be happy to move things around.
In speaking with a coworker who was born and raised in San Francisco, but has family (her mother, for one) from China, I was warned that my cleanliness standards may not be the same as theirs. The example I was given was handling raw chicken and then touching doorknobs. I'm thinking I'll not be cooking much at all once they arrive, and then will Clorox Wipe everything after they leave. She also said it's perfectly common for 10 people to live in one bedroom, but I probably shouldn't mention Mr. Steamroller always sleeping over unless I want to get Steamroller in trouble with her parents. Which I don't.
Ummm... who wants to go out to dinner with me this week?
I get this e-mail:
From: Steamroller
To: GreenYogurt
Subject: Parents' visit
Date: 8/26/2006 9:21:43 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
Green,
Sorry! I should have told you earlier :) My parents are planning to visit me next week starting 8/29 (yay!) and will stay here for about a month. Hope you won't mind! They will spend most of their time in my room :P and as far as use of kitchen is concerned, my mother is a very tidy housewife :) and we can work out what "cooking schedules" will work. Hopefully that sounds good to you. Thanks! Let me know~
Take care,
Steamroller
Fuck. No. So I just sent her back a response with one line: We need to talk. Because quite frankly, this does NOT sound good to me. AT. ALL. In fact, this sounds downright unacceptable to me. I do NOT want to live with parents. If I did, I have my own parents to go live with. I only wanted ONE roommate. Not one roommate who is my age, and two other senior citizen roommates from China. BULLSHIT her parents will spend "most of their time" in her bedroom. BULL FUCKING SHIT.
Absofuckinglutely not. Now I get the point that they're coming all the way from China to see their very only child in another country, and that's why they want to stay for a month. However. They simply can NOT stay here. I'm thinking anything over a week is really too much.
I just read my lease to see if there's anything in it that will help my cause. There isn't. It's frustratingly, California-ily vague as it avoids the entire issue of guests. In fact, to read the lease, no guests of any kind are ever allowed, based on this: "The apartment shall be .... occupied only by the persons specified and set out above..... Occupancy of the Apartment by any person or persons not named as Resident will be cause for immediate termination of the Lease and eviction of all occupants."
The way I interpret that is absolutely no guests are ever allowed in for any circumstances, though they don't define the words "occupied" and "Occupancy." Surely they don't mean no guests are ever allowed at all. I wish they'd defined this.
Yeah, so I'm beyond livid right now. Rage is coursing through my veins. Welcome home.
UPDATE: This morning I called Steamroller and told her that her parents simply can not stay for an entire month. I blamed it on our lease, saying that I would not put her in a position of violating the lease in such a way that we can get kicked out, and she can't do that to me. It was not a comfortable conversation for either of us. Ultimately she asked how long I would be okay with them staying, offering up three or four days. I said one week would be fine with me.
Mid-morning I got an e-mail from her saying they'd be staying in a hotel for three of the four weeks they'll be in town, and with us for the first week of their stay in the U.S. She asked if they could use the kitchen, explaining they have some dietary restrictions that restaurants won't be able to work with. My response was that as long as we both make a point to clean up after each meal, I'm sure we'll do fine, and she should let me know if she needs more space in the fridge/freezer/cabinets and I'll be happy to move things around.
In speaking with a coworker who was born and raised in San Francisco, but has family (her mother, for one) from China, I was warned that my cleanliness standards may not be the same as theirs. The example I was given was handling raw chicken and then touching doorknobs. I'm thinking I'll not be cooking much at all once they arrive, and then will Clorox Wipe everything after they leave. She also said it's perfectly common for 10 people to live in one bedroom, but I probably shouldn't mention Mr. Steamroller always sleeping over unless I want to get Steamroller in trouble with her parents. Which I don't.
Ummm... who wants to go out to dinner with me this week?
posted by Green at 8/27/2006 08:12:00 PM
11 Comments:
Tip toeing into the comments section...uh...I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Missed your posts.
I'll go to my corner now and stay out of your way.
Silly Steve,
I'm always happy to have a comment from you - you're not in the way at all. No need to tip-toe, just barge right in whenever you're inspired.
Silly me - I thought hotels are for having a place to stay when you stay someplace other than where you live.
I hope you can work this out to meet both your requirements and those of SteamRoller given that her native culture is very different that those in America.
Maybe Steamroller is messy because her mother always tidied up after her. Maybe you'll start coming home to a spotless apartment. Maybe they'll even buy paper towels.
Just a possibility.
Still, she invited someone else to live in the apartment you share for a month without clearing it with you first? Not cool. You live there too. Something like that affects both of your lives - let's not talk about liability - so you should both be involved in the decision.
Steamroller sounds like a good name for her. Very manipulative. She totally took over and will make you the bad guy if you don't let her get away with being a jerk. Sheesh.
Ugh. Sorry to hear about this. Maybe they'll keep the apartment spotless for you? Small consolation for the lack of privacy, though. Is there any way you can manipulate them into buying groceries and doing all the cooking?
Yuck. A month is too long for any houseguest, and parents should never stay more than a few days. (I know- my brother in law lived with us for three months this summer, and my parents in law stayed with us for the WEEK BEFORE OUR WEDDING.)
Could you ask/demand that she pay more of the rent for this month since the wear and tear, utilities, and general usage of the apartment is going to go way up with an extra two people living there?
Which night would you like to come over for dinner? Let me know. I'll get some bottled water, even.
Roommates are a money-saving tool in theory, but in every case I found that I lost both money (theft of household/kitchen items, unauthorized use/theft of personal belongings, etc..) and my general state of peace. At 21 I vowed never to have another roommate and I never did. I'm happily married now, and was blissfully happy living alone (in less expensive places) for 10 years before that.
Late as usual, but at least one legal dictionary says that an occupant lives in the premises or uses them as a tenant or owner. Is someone who sleeps, eats, uses the restroom, showers, and smears chicken on the doorknobs for a month "living" there as a tenant? I don't know what a judge would say, but it's a reasonable reading and Steamroller has no right to expose you to the risk of eviction.
Glad things worked out. You're certainly more generous than I would have been.
I am glad you got things sort of worked out with your roommate. The cross cultural thing is SO HARD.
Oh the meat handling. One time Babe's mom, while she was here, cut up mad amounts of chicken and then rinsed her hands under the water. I told her "please use soap, it is important." She glared at me. Oh well I dont want solmonella all around my house. What I thought was NASTY, beyond NASTY, they thought was just fine. I am sure by what they did, they thought I was a nasty girl too. Most of that had to do with showering and bathroom though. Though they didnt wash their hands after the bathroom, they just got their ass under the shower spiggot and rinsed. NO SOAP!
This is some fucked-up shit, Green. Does she have no respect for you whatsoever?
Seething on your behalf.
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