Where's My Brain At?
So, I'm feeling a bit learning disabled today. And it's very quietly freaking me out. I was trying to figure out when it started - may have been yesterday, but I'm not sure. As if knowing when it started is important. As if I'll go to a doctor about it. Really, I know of no doctors or any professionals at all that deal with helping adults who are smart but have learning disabilities. Besides, I need a brain surgeon. Today I would like to sign up for a brain transplant.
I'm way more dyslexic today than usual. I keep typing things, then looking at the screen and thinking, "That's not what I meant!" Earlier this afternoon Tuna gave me a memo with handwritten revisions he wanted me to type in. I had a very hard time figuring out which revisions went where. A few minutes ago he asked me to get an attorney general opinion, and I wrote notes as he talked. "CA Atty Gen Op... Cit 36 Opp Atty Gen CA..." Why did I abbreviate "opinion" with both "Op" and "Opp"? "Opp" generally (in my personal shorthand) stands for "Opposing." When I called to get this opinion, I told the guy I needed Citation 63, even though I wrote 36. Then I realized I'd made a mistake with the number, but could NOT, for the life of me, figure out how to say the word "thirty six" out loud. What sounds make that word come out? I DON'T KNOW!
I'm having trouble remembering what I'm doing. It feels like ADD. I print something, stand up to go to the printer, take two steps away from my desk, then can't remember where I was going.
As I'm typing this I'm having to concentrate on it much more than usual - the temptation to be distracted by LEL bleating into her phone about apples and honey is overwhelming. Not that it's related to learning disabilities, but I am having a hard time with my temper also. I am quietly sitting here in a rage over how loud LEL is being. Normally I'm so good at ignoring her. Not today. Today I can feel the rage flying through my body so fast that it scares me.
I haven't been feeling well since yesterday. Perhaps it's all connected. Perhaps I should just go home and start over tomorrow. But I can't do that - it's bad enough I left five minutes early without permission yesterday.
There is a connection between my learning disabilities and what I eat. Blatantly artificial colors are bad for me. I don't think I've eaten anything wildly different from what I usually do over the last few days. In Florida one time, I ate Reeses Pieces even though I knew the artificial colors screw me up, and promptly screamed at my mother over the phone, and then later couldn't read something I'd written because my handwriting was worse than a third grade boy's. I had to call my mother back later when I'd calmed down to apologize.
I just worked up the courage to try out my handwriting -if it's awful, I know I'm way off course. If I can't write in relatively straight lines, or different letters are different sizes, then I know my head is not well. Right now my handwriting is okay. But I just prepared a fax cover sheet and somehow didn't notice it had no fax number on it. Whoever stole my brain better give it back.
I'm way more dyslexic today than usual. I keep typing things, then looking at the screen and thinking, "That's not what I meant!" Earlier this afternoon Tuna gave me a memo with handwritten revisions he wanted me to type in. I had a very hard time figuring out which revisions went where. A few minutes ago he asked me to get an attorney general opinion, and I wrote notes as he talked. "CA Atty Gen Op... Cit 36 Opp Atty Gen CA..." Why did I abbreviate "opinion" with both "Op" and "Opp"? "Opp" generally (in my personal shorthand) stands for "Opposing." When I called to get this opinion, I told the guy I needed Citation 63, even though I wrote 36. Then I realized I'd made a mistake with the number, but could NOT, for the life of me, figure out how to say the word "thirty six" out loud. What sounds make that word come out? I DON'T KNOW!
I'm having trouble remembering what I'm doing. It feels like ADD. I print something, stand up to go to the printer, take two steps away from my desk, then can't remember where I was going.
As I'm typing this I'm having to concentrate on it much more than usual - the temptation to be distracted by LEL bleating into her phone about apples and honey is overwhelming. Not that it's related to learning disabilities, but I am having a hard time with my temper also. I am quietly sitting here in a rage over how loud LEL is being. Normally I'm so good at ignoring her. Not today. Today I can feel the rage flying through my body so fast that it scares me.
I haven't been feeling well since yesterday. Perhaps it's all connected. Perhaps I should just go home and start over tomorrow. But I can't do that - it's bad enough I left five minutes early without permission yesterday.
There is a connection between my learning disabilities and what I eat. Blatantly artificial colors are bad for me. I don't think I've eaten anything wildly different from what I usually do over the last few days. In Florida one time, I ate Reeses Pieces even though I knew the artificial colors screw me up, and promptly screamed at my mother over the phone, and then later couldn't read something I'd written because my handwriting was worse than a third grade boy's. I had to call my mother back later when I'd calmed down to apologize.
I just worked up the courage to try out my handwriting -if it's awful, I know I'm way off course. If I can't write in relatively straight lines, or different letters are different sizes, then I know my head is not well. Right now my handwriting is okay. But I just prepared a fax cover sheet and somehow didn't notice it had no fax number on it. Whoever stole my brain better give it back.
posted by Green at 8/15/2006 05:26:00 PM
3 Comments:
Are you serious? Food coloring affects you like that? I never heard that before. Until that line I was thinking how sometimes everyone has duh moments/days.
A couple times while working at the convenience store in college, I got so tired, stressed, and distracted that I'd catch myself reading the amount of cash back(let's say it was $2.46) as $2.64 in my head, telling the customer it was $2.34, and giving them the correct currency back. For me, it was just a sign I needed a break.
Maybe your body is just telling you to rest and relax for a few days.
I agree with Sparkling, you need a few days off, see if you can take Friday off and make it a long weekend...
a drinking binge, some bong hits and a lot of meaningless sex. that's what you need.
oh wait, maybe a few days off, then.
(did your mom deserve to be yelled at, tho? maybe even a little?)
i hope you are back to 100%
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