Little Green Ramblings
Haven't felt inspired to write lately, but the world has continued turning. I'm tired, and fighting being sick, so here are just the high(and low)lights.
1. Today I met up with my walking buddy after a long hiatus from walking. It was so nice to see her, and go for a long walk, and catch up. I told Ruby what's been going on with the blog issues. She said her ex-boyfriend wrote about her in his blog, and at first she was very upset. Then she realized that nobody except their friends were reading his blog, and they already knew all that he'd written about. Ruby also pointed out that it's simply startling to read about yourself, whether or not your name is used. This is true. A friend of mine wrote a very flattering blog post about a present I gave her daughter, and I was 80% flustered, 20% upset when I first read it. Upset for no real good reason after I thought about it. It was merely the element of surprise. I am not saying that the only reason people who read about themselves get upset is due to the element of surprise. I'm simply saying I think Ruby made a good point.
2. For the last three weeks I've been going to a therapist once a week. Yesterday on my way home, I thought "I'm cooked. I'm all tanked up on the therapy now." I feel more in control now, and better able to deal with life without the help of a professional. So I'm thinking of quitting. Who knows how I'll fuck up later on this year, and if I quit now, I'll still have two more free sessions left. Some might say not fucking up is within my power. I try to not fuck up. But I'm nowhere near perfect.
3. I talked to HR about LEL, whose behavior was getting increasingly worse. The last straw(s) for me was when she told me to grow up, when she cc'd everyone in the department when e-mailing me, when she e-mailed me asking me to do something she was perfectly capable of doing herself, when her request via e-mail was less of a request and more of a demand. The HR guy was very cool and promised to chat with LEL, telling her to make sure to talk to me as an equal, not to ask me to do her job, and to stop CCing everyone and their mother. Since that talk, she has been a different person. Whew. I hope it lasts! I was very against going to HR, since it felt like telling on someone, but we'd already had three talks and I'd run out of ideas. The HR guy told me I'm not the first person to have problems with her (which made me feel better).
4. I firmy believe nobody should ever cry at work. Today LEL was crying on the phone to someone (absolutely nothing to do with me). Even with how much I can't stand her, I felt bad that she was crying.
5. In the past, LEL always gave me shit for having a messy desk. Since we swapped attorneys her desk has been a wreck and mine has been clean. Hmmmm....
6. Found out today that I've been confusing two people at work. This morning new partners were announced, and I decided to look up their profiles on our intranet. Good thing I did that - otherwise I would have congratulated the wrong guy!
7. I talked with a friend recently about allowing worlds to collide. As in, mixing work friends with home friends, camp friends with school friends, etc. I've always been terrified of having my worlds collide. On Friday I will be having a dinner with a work friend and a home friend. Both are good enough friends that I am confident everything will go swimmingly. But if anyone wants to send me good vibes just in case...
8. March has always been my worst month. It's a long month, with no days off, bad weather no matter where I've lived. It's almost half over. Whew!
9. Oy to the vey. I either love or hate the phrase, but this week I'm leaning towards love.
10. I've never talked about Mr. Katrina Man before, but I will now. If I leave for work at just the right time, then at the same spot each day, I pass a man I call (in my head) Mr. Katrina Man. I call him that because on the first business day after Katrina hit, I walked past him. Here was a guy in his late 50's/early 60's, dressed in a business suit, with a folded newspaper tucked under his arm, openly crying while walking to work. He had this expression on his face like "WHY God, WHY?!!!!!" I so rarely see men cry, and to see him just crying as he walked through the street on the way to work really moved me. I wanted to hug him. Offer him a tissue. Ask him if everyone he knows was okay. Something. Ever since then I've noticed Mr. Katrina Man when we pass, and we smile at each other.
11. I'm not digging the title of this post, but can't think of anything better right now.
1. Today I met up with my walking buddy after a long hiatus from walking. It was so nice to see her, and go for a long walk, and catch up. I told Ruby what's been going on with the blog issues. She said her ex-boyfriend wrote about her in his blog, and at first she was very upset. Then she realized that nobody except their friends were reading his blog, and they already knew all that he'd written about. Ruby also pointed out that it's simply startling to read about yourself, whether or not your name is used. This is true. A friend of mine wrote a very flattering blog post about a present I gave her daughter, and I was 80% flustered, 20% upset when I first read it. Upset for no real good reason after I thought about it. It was merely the element of surprise. I am not saying that the only reason people who read about themselves get upset is due to the element of surprise. I'm simply saying I think Ruby made a good point.
2. For the last three weeks I've been going to a therapist once a week. Yesterday on my way home, I thought "I'm cooked. I'm all tanked up on the therapy now." I feel more in control now, and better able to deal with life without the help of a professional. So I'm thinking of quitting. Who knows how I'll fuck up later on this year, and if I quit now, I'll still have two more free sessions left. Some might say not fucking up is within my power. I try to not fuck up. But I'm nowhere near perfect.
3. I talked to HR about LEL, whose behavior was getting increasingly worse. The last straw(s) for me was when she told me to grow up, when she cc'd everyone in the department when e-mailing me, when she e-mailed me asking me to do something she was perfectly capable of doing herself, when her request via e-mail was less of a request and more of a demand. The HR guy was very cool and promised to chat with LEL, telling her to make sure to talk to me as an equal, not to ask me to do her job, and to stop CCing everyone and their mother. Since that talk, she has been a different person. Whew. I hope it lasts! I was very against going to HR, since it felt like telling on someone, but we'd already had three talks and I'd run out of ideas. The HR guy told me I'm not the first person to have problems with her (which made me feel better).
4. I firmy believe nobody should ever cry at work. Today LEL was crying on the phone to someone (absolutely nothing to do with me). Even with how much I can't stand her, I felt bad that she was crying.
5. In the past, LEL always gave me shit for having a messy desk. Since we swapped attorneys her desk has been a wreck and mine has been clean. Hmmmm....
6. Found out today that I've been confusing two people at work. This morning new partners were announced, and I decided to look up their profiles on our intranet. Good thing I did that - otherwise I would have congratulated the wrong guy!
7. I talked with a friend recently about allowing worlds to collide. As in, mixing work friends with home friends, camp friends with school friends, etc. I've always been terrified of having my worlds collide. On Friday I will be having a dinner with a work friend and a home friend. Both are good enough friends that I am confident everything will go swimmingly. But if anyone wants to send me good vibes just in case...
8. March has always been my worst month. It's a long month, with no days off, bad weather no matter where I've lived. It's almost half over. Whew!
9. Oy to the vey. I either love or hate the phrase, but this week I'm leaning towards love.
10. I've never talked about Mr. Katrina Man before, but I will now. If I leave for work at just the right time, then at the same spot each day, I pass a man I call (in my head) Mr. Katrina Man. I call him that because on the first business day after Katrina hit, I walked past him. Here was a guy in his late 50's/early 60's, dressed in a business suit, with a folded newspaper tucked under his arm, openly crying while walking to work. He had this expression on his face like "WHY God, WHY?!!!!!" I so rarely see men cry, and to see him just crying as he walked through the street on the way to work really moved me. I wanted to hug him. Offer him a tissue. Ask him if everyone he knows was okay. Something. Ever since then I've noticed Mr. Katrina Man when we pass, and we smile at each other.
11. I'm not digging the title of this post, but can't think of anything better right now.
posted by Green at 3/15/2006 10:11:00 PM
8 Comments:
Good for you in talking to HR. I wouldn't have the nerve to make a formal statement about a coworker even though they say it's necessary and helpful should the person become a bigger problem.
You name strangers, too, huh? "Zippy" (as in zip-a-dee-doo-dah) walks just under my office window almost every day singing happily. When I don't hear Zippy for a while, I worry that something bad has happened. It's very comforting to know someone out there is all right in the world. If you weren't so far away, I'd loan him to you every once in while. LOL
Glad to hear you're doing better.
oh, and try vitamin c. I don't know if it really works, but I get that advice all the time whenever I say I think I'm getting sick....
I like your title. It works perfectly and makes us want to continue reading. Definitely not as messy as " a little yogurt!"
Also , it is very appropriate for tomorrow, St, Patty's Day!
Will you be wearing Green?
Sending you hugs and four leaf clovers.
You always seem to try so hard at everything you do and think. Doesn't it exhaust you? How do you relax? Deep breathing? yoga? Cardio? Dance? Music? Reading?
I do the same and am trying different things. So far I like bubble baths with relaxing music.
I name people I don't know, too!
Also rename some I do know but have to be really careful about that!
Here's hoping HR doesn't see you as the troublemaker - the one who can't get along! Maybe for once they really mean what they tell you!
I did the same once. HR played us against each other and we both were let go!
It worked out for the best for me but took a very long time til it did.
Hope you have a more positive experience!
How is everything going with the family? Are you forgiven yet?
I wouldn't worry about LEL, It sounds like her days may be numbered.
I'm sending you as many happy vibes that will fit in the imaginary box i'm sending you :) I'm glad you are feeling stronger after 3 weeks of therapy. I was starting to worry about you when you didn't write anything for a while.
best,
catherine
good luck with the mixing of your worlds! I'm sure you'll have a great time -- everytime I actually suck it up and introduce a camp friend to a work friend, it always goes just fine and I wonder why I was so stressed about it. I think my secret worry is that I will get up to go to the bathroom and they will start swapping embarrassing stories about me. So go to the bathroom before you go out.
Stephanie
looks like you will have to get that funky letter thingy to keep away the spam, lol.
catherine
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