No LA Vacation in April
This is what happened.
Last week I got approval to take time off in April. I let my brother know that same day. On Sunday while I was in LA, CG booked a ticket for my flight there in April. During the last three days, I blogged from LA, using my brother's laptop. It's the only computer in the house. Today, I got a voicemail from CG saying they won't need me in April after all. I wrote to her, asking if I got fired, and if so, why. She said I did, and basically said she didn't have time to discuss it since she was at work, but asking that I not bother my brother "in his fragile state" about it. She referenced her "mal-treated dog," and said that I broke her trust and hurt her feelings very deeply.
Here's what I think happened: CG saw my blog on the history of my brother's laptop, saw the Playa List, and saw that I said she treats her dog horribly.
In my mind, feeding a dog "people food" simply because a dog is begging for it, when any vet worth their degree will tell you it's best to keep that to a minimum, is wrong. In my mind, feeding a dog "people food" even after your dog threw up after eating other "people food" is wrong. In my mind, holding a dog when it makes it clear it wants to get away, for your own amusement, is wrong. In my mind, putting bows in a dog's hair because YOU think it looks cute and it amuses YOU, an adult, even when it's clearly bothering the dog, is wrong.
That's what I meant when I said CG treats her dog horribly. In retrospect (and admittedly, I'm only having this retrospect because I think CG read that), it is not treating a dog "horribly" to do what she does. Horrible treatment of a dog is beating it, abandoning it, starving it, etc. I know for a fact none of these things happen to the dog while in CG's care. I know that CG honestly loves the dog very much. I know that she was the one who was so upset at how the dog was being (un)cared for at her mother's house that she took it and just announced to my brother that she was arriving home with a dog.
I suppose that her way of showing that love is different than the way I show love for a dog. I suppose that the bottom line is really that it's her dog, and she can treat it however she wants. So, I'm going to change what I wrote in the Playa List.
CG, if I am right, and you did read that, I'm truly sorry that your feeling were very hurt. That was not my intent at all. Regardless of our relationship, I would never want to hurt somebody that my brother cares so much about. We are both very different, we KNOW we have very different priorities, viewpoints, and standards (we've talked about many of them almost every time we've gotten together), and I did not mean to hurt your feelings by posting what I did. I only meant to vent my frustration at seeing things that hurt me to see.
Last week I got approval to take time off in April. I let my brother know that same day. On Sunday while I was in LA, CG booked a ticket for my flight there in April. During the last three days, I blogged from LA, using my brother's laptop. It's the only computer in the house. Today, I got a voicemail from CG saying they won't need me in April after all. I wrote to her, asking if I got fired, and if so, why. She said I did, and basically said she didn't have time to discuss it since she was at work, but asking that I not bother my brother "in his fragile state" about it. She referenced her "mal-treated dog," and said that I broke her trust and hurt her feelings very deeply.
Here's what I think happened: CG saw my blog on the history of my brother's laptop, saw the Playa List, and saw that I said she treats her dog horribly.
In my mind, feeding a dog "people food" simply because a dog is begging for it, when any vet worth their degree will tell you it's best to keep that to a minimum, is wrong. In my mind, feeding a dog "people food" even after your dog threw up after eating other "people food" is wrong. In my mind, holding a dog when it makes it clear it wants to get away, for your own amusement, is wrong. In my mind, putting bows in a dog's hair because YOU think it looks cute and it amuses YOU, an adult, even when it's clearly bothering the dog, is wrong.
That's what I meant when I said CG treats her dog horribly. In retrospect (and admittedly, I'm only having this retrospect because I think CG read that), it is not treating a dog "horribly" to do what she does. Horrible treatment of a dog is beating it, abandoning it, starving it, etc. I know for a fact none of these things happen to the dog while in CG's care. I know that CG honestly loves the dog very much. I know that she was the one who was so upset at how the dog was being (un)cared for at her mother's house that she took it and just announced to my brother that she was arriving home with a dog.
I suppose that her way of showing that love is different than the way I show love for a dog. I suppose that the bottom line is really that it's her dog, and she can treat it however she wants. So, I'm going to change what I wrote in the Playa List.
CG, if I am right, and you did read that, I'm truly sorry that your feeling were very hurt. That was not my intent at all. Regardless of our relationship, I would never want to hurt somebody that my brother cares so much about. We are both very different, we KNOW we have very different priorities, viewpoints, and standards (we've talked about many of them almost every time we've gotten together), and I did not mean to hurt your feelings by posting what I did. I only meant to vent my frustration at seeing things that hurt me to see.
posted by Green at 2/21/2006 06:20:00 PM
7 Comments:
Oh, GY. This blog shit gets so messy sometimes.
CG, you both love the same man, but in vastly different ways. Please don't be mad. GY's got a twisted sense of humor, which is why I enjoy reading her blog, but she has a good heart.
I think the dog loves you both, too.
How awkward to have her read your own honestly expressed opinion of the situation, but how brave (in my eyes) of you to just open up here and apologize to her while still maintaining your stance. Maybe you can use the time off in April for just some general R&R???
It sounds to me like somebody got her panties in a wad because she was called on her poor pet behavior. She needs to grow up.
So sorry to hear that. I've enjoyed reading your blog, and I have to agree with you on the dog treatment issue (even though I've been known to make my dogs wear something they weren't too keen on to take a funny picture now and then).
Goes to show you that nothing good comes from snooping, but I agree that you should not cancel your time off. Once she's had time to think about it and calm down she may change her mind. And you were brave for attempting to address the issue head on. Good luck.
hmmm.... Gotta say, with the exception of the "people food" thing, I don't think her offenses were all that bad. I think you guys are just experiencing a personality clash. It happens and it's often hard to just let it go, especially if one or both refuses to acknowledge that forcing anything more than civility is a mistake.
Based on your posts alone, I think she may have overreacted to something that may have been posted out of frustration. It's big of you to apologize. She should be big enough to accept.
That said, I know GB just had surgery, but I wonder if she didn't want you to talk to him about it because she knew he'd override her decision....
GY, although this story is altogether sad, i have to wonder whether you are really deserving of your "bravery" praise. In my experience, I have always thought that one who anonymously posts internet blogs rather than deals face to face with their issues is actually not brave at all ... i also think that anyone who cares about to their dog enough to share meals and hugs and clothes with them would obviously be upset by an attack on their pet care ... just tell this CG you are sorry.
To Anonymous,
I have never claimed to be a brave person. I'm just me. I try hard and sometimes I make mistakes. Some of those mistakes are huge. This is one of those. Thank you for your advice to apologize to CG. I will no longer be posting about either CG or my brother, as the last thing I want to do is hurt either of them, or more importantly, cause my brother more stress.
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