Really? You Don't Say!
People at work (yes, yet another work post, sorry) are slowly finding out that there's been a switch of support staff in our little corner. I'm seeing some very interesting reactions. Share them? You betcha!
The accounting woman in charge of billing came to stand at the side of my desk, with a frantic look on her face.
GY: Can I help you with something?
AW: Yes
GY: What can I help you with?
AW: A post-it
AW writes "When did this happen? I can't work with her!"
GY writes back "Monday. Heh. Good luck"
AW writes "Why?"
I suggest we go into her office. I tell her what happened. I tell her I worry that Cowboy hated me and forced Tuna to take me, and he wanted LEL. I tell her I hope that really Tuna couldn't stand LEL, so Cowboy offered to take her. AW tells me that LEL got kicked out of working upstairs (I knew she'd previously worked for another attorney on another floor, but knew no details). AW tells me that LEL gets flustered easily, that she screws up everything she touches. I tell AW that I feel like compared to LEL, everyone thinks I'm unfriendly and rude, because she's so chatty and perky. AW says nobody can stand her perkiness and everyone upstairs complained about how much and how loudly she talked. I tell AW that I feel like the Cowboy likes LEL better than me because her desk is so much neater than mine. AW says her desk is neat because nobody gives her any work. She tells me she's sure that the Cowboy will start giving me work to do, simply because it'll be easier for him to get what he needsd across to me. Fascinating!
Next conversation I have is with the file clerk. Not about LEL, but just how things are going in general. I mention that it amuses me that the Cowboy stands at LEL's desk and repeatedly shushes her. Apropos of nothing, the file clerk tells me LEL was fired from upstairs for saying something racial. HOLY SHIT! The file clerk tells me that when a mutual friend of all three of ours talks about it, she always refers to it as a firing. Who knew?!
So, it's been an interesting week.
The accounting woman in charge of billing came to stand at the side of my desk, with a frantic look on her face.
GY: Can I help you with something?
AW: Yes
GY: What can I help you with?
AW: A post-it
AW writes "When did this happen? I can't work with her!"
GY writes back "Monday. Heh. Good luck"
AW writes "Why?"
I suggest we go into her office. I tell her what happened. I tell her I worry that Cowboy hated me and forced Tuna to take me, and he wanted LEL. I tell her I hope that really Tuna couldn't stand LEL, so Cowboy offered to take her. AW tells me that LEL got kicked out of working upstairs (I knew she'd previously worked for another attorney on another floor, but knew no details). AW tells me that LEL gets flustered easily, that she screws up everything she touches. I tell AW that I feel like compared to LEL, everyone thinks I'm unfriendly and rude, because she's so chatty and perky. AW says nobody can stand her perkiness and everyone upstairs complained about how much and how loudly she talked. I tell AW that I feel like the Cowboy likes LEL better than me because her desk is so much neater than mine. AW says her desk is neat because nobody gives her any work. She tells me she's sure that the Cowboy will start giving me work to do, simply because it'll be easier for him to get what he needsd across to me. Fascinating!
Next conversation I have is with the file clerk. Not about LEL, but just how things are going in general. I mention that it amuses me that the Cowboy stands at LEL's desk and repeatedly shushes her. Apropos of nothing, the file clerk tells me LEL was fired from upstairs for saying something racial. HOLY SHIT! The file clerk tells me that when a mutual friend of all three of ours talks about it, she always refers to it as a firing. Who knew?!
So, it's been an interesting week.
posted by Green at 2/16/2006 09:17:00 PM
4 Comments:
so exciting, you are in the gossip matrix ! what else are you going to find out ? I love stuff like this. B1
I came here from Opionista and read through your archive. I read so many things and said, "Wow, me too!" that I think you might appreciate this story. Sorry it's long, but I always get a kick out of telling it.
In high school I had two "friends" who were terrible backstabbers, talking bad about people behind their backs and generally employing all the horrible tricks teenage girls use to destroy other girls' self esteems. I knew they were not very nice, but I was really shy and had few friends and everyone else seemed to like them. I told myself that maybe I was just a jealous goody-goody. Anyway, the little jabs were a small sacrifice for not being a completely friendless loser.
Once a girl named Kristi on the fringe of our group had a huge party. My friends suggested I find something else to do. Hurt, I asked why. They told me that Kristi and a lot of the people who would be at the party really didn't like me. They thought I was such a loser, boring, and would ruin the party just by being there. I was shocked. I had thought this girl was so nice and really liked me. I thought I had got along well with all her friends. I was told that she only pretended to like me because my friends asked her to be nice to me. Devastated, I sat home and cried while they went to the party.
I pretended it didn't bother me when I heard everyone talk about how much fun they had on Saturday. After that I was nice to Kristi, but I always remembered at the back of my mind that she hated me so much that she told my friends to ditch me.
During the next two years I found a boyfriend (still together after ten years, he’s my best friend) who didn’t like my friends. He said they were airheads and asked why I was slumming with such losers. That was exactly what I needed, just one person to tell me I deserved better. I gradually associated less and less with those girls until they were just people I used to know in high school. I started feeling really good about myself.
Coincidentally, in college I had a class and sat right next to Kristi. She was still really nice to me and by the end of the semester I warmed up to her and we talked quite a bit. Eventually the topic of my old friends came up. Kristi said how glad she was that she didn’t see them anymore because they really hurt her by saying nasty things about her behind her back and lying to her. She said she always thought I was really nice and wished she could have been friends with me long ago, but I had been friends with them. She was glad we got the chance now to really talk so that I could see that she wasn’t really a dippy slut.
What!? Huh??? Wires got crossed somewhere…. Talking some more, we figured out that my “friends” had told Kristi that I didn’t like her because she was dumb and slutty (familiar words because they used them to trash Kristi to me on many occasions). Kristi had wanted to invite me to that party to show me that it wasn’t true and maybe make me like her more, but my friend had become angry at the suggestion, whining (guess what?) that I was such a loser and so boring that I would ruin the whole night just by being there. She made such a fuss that Kristi gave in. And I spent two years thinking everyone hated me….
We laughed at how dumb we were to believe anything those girls said, knowing what lying bitches they were. We were friendly for the next two semesters and I still can’t think of anything really bad to say about her. On the other hand, I can never manage anything more than politeness when I see my “best friends” from high school.
Incidentally, I did talk to other people from high school. The general opinion was something like, “I couldn’t believe you stayed friends with those nasty backstabbers for so long. I always hated them.” My response was, why didn’t anybody tell me!? I thought I was some kind of freak, that I was the only one who didn’t like them. After all, I never heard anyone say anything bad about them. “Well duh. Would you have the nerve to badmouth someone to their best friend?” Yeah, duh….
Don't let them make you doubt yourself....
Wow. I think you are in a situation similar to one I was in several years ago, with a former co-worker (using the term loosely) I called Dink. Dink had, in three weeks of employment, managed to alienate a number of people on whom he critically depended. He was down work-flow from me, so I depended on him, and after a few weeks of him kicking everything back to me, I'd had enough. It was practically a conspiracy. All I had to do was my job, with great care and competency, and keep track of every instruction I gave him (in writing, usually a memo). The end came when he did a spectacular job of trying to avoid work to the point of involving a superior, saying I'd instructed him to do something assinine. I smiled serenely, pulled out copies of written instructions (I'd had him initial them on receipt), and maintained my calm (despite the almost overwhelming desire to kick him in the groin repeatedly until he went away).
I didn't have to do much that was special and nothing that was over the top, so I feel no guilt. And I haven't seen Dink since.
God, reading Amanda's post really got to me. Amanda, you were lucky that you got to talk to Kristi later and to find out what was really going on. Most people don't get that luxury - it's a constant guessing game sometimes as to what is real. And, if you grew up the Parental Units giving you the advice "ignore them and it'll stop" well, you understand the passive approach is girl-shit. Now, I've learned to just approach someone and say "this is what I heard, care to comment?" That breaks the ice and I can usually tell if someone's trying to backtrack or if they're telling the truth. And, GY, you go girl! Don't let that asshole bother you. (Don't ignore the bullshit, call her on it when you can, just don't let her get to you.) You just keep doing a great job.
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