If You Don't Like It, Don't Read It
People say this all the time. Usually when someone comments on a blog with something negative, the blog writer or their "fans" will throw it at the commenter.
I read blogs to see what life is like for people who are different than I am. I already know what I'm like. I want to see what other people are like. Sometimes, they're so different that I don't even understand them. Sometimes, I'm shocked by what they present as a given.
There is a blog called Wardrobe Oxygen. I follow it on Facebook (okay and Instagram), along with almost 7,000 other people. The writer of the blog has a style that is wildly different from mine and even from what I wish mine was. She often highlights new lines by designers. The other day she posted a picture of a dress that was just ... horrific, in my opinion. I could see it being in a compilation of Nightmare Bridesmaids Dresses or something. Being torn to shreds (threads?) on Fashion Police. Really, just awful.
My comment was "Whoa, so ugly!" Then, the "foot in the mouth" moment happened. The blog owner replied, "Really? I own it." Whoops. Had I known she owned the dress I'd have just kept my opinion to myself. But I hadn't so I needed to own that opinion. So I explained what part of the dress bothered me, found something about it to be nice about, and she replied essentially saying it looks better on a person with a different body type. That was it.
Except that all day yesterday I kept running the interaction through my mind. Wasn't sure why. When I woke up this morning it was clear. I disagreed, and she didn't tell me to stop reading. She engaged me, and tried to get me to see her side. She never suggested that I leave, she didn't block me, we just ... had an exchange. I so respect how she handled it. I was really a bit of a bitch. This could have gone in a very different direction, but I'm glad it didn't.
Note to self: do not insult anything until you are sure the person you're speaking to does not own it.
I read blogs to see what life is like for people who are different than I am. I already know what I'm like. I want to see what other people are like. Sometimes, they're so different that I don't even understand them. Sometimes, I'm shocked by what they present as a given.
There is a blog called Wardrobe Oxygen. I follow it on Facebook (okay and Instagram), along with almost 7,000 other people. The writer of the blog has a style that is wildly different from mine and even from what I wish mine was. She often highlights new lines by designers. The other day she posted a picture of a dress that was just ... horrific, in my opinion. I could see it being in a compilation of Nightmare Bridesmaids Dresses or something. Being torn to shreds (threads?) on Fashion Police. Really, just awful.
My comment was "Whoa, so ugly!" Then, the "foot in the mouth" moment happened. The blog owner replied, "Really? I own it." Whoops. Had I known she owned the dress I'd have just kept my opinion to myself. But I hadn't so I needed to own that opinion. So I explained what part of the dress bothered me, found something about it to be nice about, and she replied essentially saying it looks better on a person with a different body type. That was it.
Except that all day yesterday I kept running the interaction through my mind. Wasn't sure why. When I woke up this morning it was clear. I disagreed, and she didn't tell me to stop reading. She engaged me, and tried to get me to see her side. She never suggested that I leave, she didn't block me, we just ... had an exchange. I so respect how she handled it. I was really a bit of a bitch. This could have gone in a very different direction, but I'm glad it didn't.
Note to self: do not insult anything until you are sure the person you're speaking to does not own it.
Labels: Bitch On Wheels (BOW), BlogFriends
posted by Green at 2/15/2015 12:28:00 PM
5 Comments:
See I didn't find you bitchy at all, I was glad for an honest opinion. How utterly BORING my blog and Facebook page would be if everyone agreed with me! Thank you for making it interesting and continuing to share your opinion. And BTW even if I was wearing that dress instead of that model you have the right to share your opinion. We bloggers put ourselves out there, we have to expect we won't get rave reviews 24/7. And thanks for this post, a bit geeking out that you took the time to write it about our exchange! ❤️
That exchange was so mature and reasonable I just might have a tear in my eye.
Hi, I tried to send an email using your blogger Gmail address and it bounced.
Such a gracious exchange. Wish all people could interact in that manner.
It is normal to receive bad comments. It depends on us on how to handle it correctly. I've experienced that also when I wear my XOXO bodycon midi dress. A lady told me that the dress was meant for the slim body and not for a chubby like me. I just answered her with a smile saying, it depends on how you will carry the dress that it will make you beautiful. She smiled too saying that she agreed with it.
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