Thursday, April 24, 2008

Fucking Yoga: Anti Boobloaf

Just last week while in downward dog, I was thinking maybe it's time I got a sports bra. As my big-boobied sisters know, it is not easy to find good bras. And when you find them, it's rare they come in colors other than white, off-white, beige, and pale pink.

I looked at Title Nine and Nike and Champion. Apparently they think only small-boobied women work out. Because if you work out, you're thin, and your boobs are somewhat small, I guess.

In my semi-realistic utopia (since in my unrealistic utopia, everyone would already be whatever size they want), at my Yoga For Fatties Class, they would also sell workout clothes for fat people. Including big-boobied sports bras.

Recently I went to a store and asked the saleswoman if they sell sports bras. Here's how well the conversation went:

SW (that's for saleswoman): Can I help you?
GY: Hi, actually, yes. Do you sell sports bras?
SW: What we have are these.
We walk over and both stare at ... the exact type of bra I'm wearing right at that moment (and at this moment right now too) that is most definitely NOT a sports bra.
GY: *blink*blink* Yes, but do you have sports bras?
SW: These are like sports bras....
GY: Okay....
SW: Regular bras have underwire. These don't, so they're just like sports bras.
GY: Thank you; I'll keep looking.

She should be fired. JUST SAY NO!
Now, last night, I went out with my friend Marlo. Ages and ages ago, Marlo suggested a blog, and I read it, and was immediately hooked. This morning, I was thinking about something Marlo said, and it reminded me of that blog. And when I went to that blog, I found Kristy writing all about bras.

Dear Missy Park at Title Nine,
Please make bras for bigger-boobed women than you do now. While the women in your "three barbell" category are bigger than the average model, I do not believe they represent the big boobage I and my big-boobied sisters are dealing with. That way we can work out more comfortably, and eventually will lose enough weight to fit into your clothes.
Thank you,
Green Yogurt, on behalf of the big-boobed women.

Labels: Clothing, Rage Against the Green, Yoga

posted by Green at 4/24/2008 09:50:00 AM

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen, sister! It's become a treasure hunt to find a 30DDD.

April 24, 2008 12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Green - Found your site from Wide Lawns. Lovesit!

So, the whole sports bra issue. Let me tell you, even as a small- breasted woman it sucks. I bought one of the Under Armour ones. Getting in and out is a workout on its own! But - nothing moves! And then make them in differnt sizes for different sizes. Here's the link http://www.underarmour.ca/shop/womens/apparel/sports-bras?sid=middle_02
I wouldn't by another sports bra from another company.
Hope this helps!

April 24, 2008 1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just My Size sells sports bras in large sizes, depending on what size you are looking for. That's where I had to order mine from when I couldn't find anything local. They carry Champion brand too. www.justmysize.com

I agree with you though, heck the bigger you are the more you need to support them and hold them down.

April 24, 2008 4:21 PM  
Blogger Mama Nabi said...

damn... so if I worked out, my boobies will be even smaller? Good thing I don't work out. :-)

April 24, 2008 4:36 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

What's this aboob big boobs?

April 24, 2008 6:35 PM  
Blogger Unemployed Nurse Jack said...

And while we're making requests, can I ask that my 38C breasts be fit into a sports bra that is somewhat flattering, instead of resembling something Mulan had to wear when she was trying to conceal her femaleness when joining the all-male army?

I am so tired of sports bras creating pancake tits pressed against my body when I work out. Support does not have to equal elastic strap downs, does it?

April 24, 2008 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't wear a sport bra (I exercise in the nude, at home), but I have found the most wonderful bra for larger breasts. It has great support. Wacoal Arabesque. A little over 50$, it is well-sewn and lasts a long time. Plus, it is so pretty - all lace. Comes in tannish, white and black. I don't know if this will solve your dilemma of a workout bra, but it's a testimonial to the best bra I have found for my 40 Ds. Take care!

April 25, 2008 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen!!!!

April 25, 2008 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girl. Preaching to the choir. I spent $300 last summer looking for the perfect sports bra. I found one that works but know that everyone's boobs are different.
This one is good for keeping them still and not making them spill out over the top.
http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prnbr=CH072&cgnbr=3011000000
Good luck!

April 25, 2008 7:43 PM  
Blogger Plain(s)feminist said...

...and while we're at it, can we PLEEEZ have large-sized sports bras that come in black?! I am so sick of white straps showing with black tanks. What is wrong with these manufacturers?!

April 26, 2008 9:18 AM  
Blogger Pagne said...

Shopping for bras is my own private hell.

April 30, 2008 12:30 PM  

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Name: Green
Location: San Francisco, CA, United States

I'm green. I'm yogurty. I'm awesome. You can find me on Twitter at GreenYogurt.

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