Perky Paula's Secret
She is in therapy. She must be, I am sure of it. Here's how I imagine one of her therapy sessions:
Perky Paula: I'm just so lonely at work! The attorneys close their doors, and none of the other secretaries sit by me.
Therapist, zoning out: Because you smell?
Perky Paula: What?!
Therapist: Are you having a hard time geling with them?
Perky Paula: I guess so.
Therapist gets excited to use her favorite line: And how does that make you feel?
Perky Paula: I don't know. Lonely?
Therapist: Is there anyone at work you feel comfortable with, or could see yourself making overtures towards?
Perky Paula: I don't know; it seems like all the other secretaries have been there for four or more years and that intimidates me.
Therapist: How does that make you feel?
Perky Paula: Intimidated?
Therapist: Good for you!
Perky Paula weakly smiles.
PP: There is this one secretary, who I think started only a couple of weeks before I did. She seems kind of nice
Therapist: Great! Why don't you ask her to lunch?
PP: Well, umm... I could. I don't know, I'm scared.
Therapist: Why do you think you're scared? Is it because of your relationship with your father?
PP: My father? No. I'm scared because what if she says no?
Therapist: How does that make you feel?
PP: Scared?
Therapist: Good for you! What you need to do Paula, is start slow. How about if this week, you focus on saying hello to this person each day. That's your homework assignment. Each day, try to engage her in a short, casual conversation.
PP: But what would we talk about?
Therapist: What do you think you'd feel comfortable talking about?
PP: Well, there's my cats. Needlepoint. My cats. The outlet malls?
Therapist, sighing and checking the time: How about talking about the weather? Ask if she lives close by to work - people love to talk about commutes.
PP: Ooh, I could ask if she likes to walk her cats outside in nice weather.
Therapist: No! No cat talk. In addition to commutes and weather, you can also ask where she likes to go for lunch.
PP: I think she eats in an empty office. Maybe she feels lonely?
Therapist, resisting urge to roll eyes: Yes, maybe she's just hoping each day that you'll come talk to her and break the ice.
PP beams at the thought, completely missing the sarcasm: Okay. I WILL go talk to her about lunch.
Therapist: Then see if she's reading something, and if so, ask what she's reading. People who read love to talk about literature.
Perky Paula leaves therapy with a spring in her step, excited to ask her target (poor, unsuspecting GY) about the weather and commutes. As she lays in bed at night trying to figure out what to wear to work tomorrow, Perky Paula decides that if things go well asking about the commute, she'll also ask if GY has a cat. And if she likes cats. And if she wants to see the pictures of Paula's cats on her memory stick that she carries around as a key fob. Perky Paula laughs out loud - of course GY will want to - after all, who doesn't like cats?
Perky Paula: I'm just so lonely at work! The attorneys close their doors, and none of the other secretaries sit by me.
Therapist, zoning out: Because you smell?
Perky Paula: What?!
Therapist: Are you having a hard time geling with them?
Perky Paula: I guess so.
Therapist gets excited to use her favorite line: And how does that make you feel?
Perky Paula: I don't know. Lonely?
Therapist: Is there anyone at work you feel comfortable with, or could see yourself making overtures towards?
Perky Paula: I don't know; it seems like all the other secretaries have been there for four or more years and that intimidates me.
Therapist: How does that make you feel?
Perky Paula: Intimidated?
Therapist: Good for you!
Perky Paula weakly smiles.
PP: There is this one secretary, who I think started only a couple of weeks before I did. She seems kind of nice
Therapist: Great! Why don't you ask her to lunch?
PP: Well, umm... I could. I don't know, I'm scared.
Therapist: Why do you think you're scared? Is it because of your relationship with your father?
PP: My father? No. I'm scared because what if she says no?
Therapist: How does that make you feel?
PP: Scared?
Therapist: Good for you! What you need to do Paula, is start slow. How about if this week, you focus on saying hello to this person each day. That's your homework assignment. Each day, try to engage her in a short, casual conversation.
PP: But what would we talk about?
Therapist: What do you think you'd feel comfortable talking about?
PP: Well, there's my cats. Needlepoint. My cats. The outlet malls?
Therapist, sighing and checking the time: How about talking about the weather? Ask if she lives close by to work - people love to talk about commutes.
PP: Ooh, I could ask if she likes to walk her cats outside in nice weather.
Therapist: No! No cat talk. In addition to commutes and weather, you can also ask where she likes to go for lunch.
PP: I think she eats in an empty office. Maybe she feels lonely?
Therapist, resisting urge to roll eyes: Yes, maybe she's just hoping each day that you'll come talk to her and break the ice.
PP beams at the thought, completely missing the sarcasm: Okay. I WILL go talk to her about lunch.
Therapist: Then see if she's reading something, and if so, ask what she's reading. People who read love to talk about literature.
Perky Paula leaves therapy with a spring in her step, excited to ask her target (poor, unsuspecting GY) about the weather and commutes. As she lays in bed at night trying to figure out what to wear to work tomorrow, Perky Paula decides that if things go well asking about the commute, she'll also ask if GY has a cat. And if she likes cats. And if she wants to see the pictures of Paula's cats on her memory stick that she carries around as a key fob. Perky Paula laughs out loud - of course GY will want to - after all, who doesn't like cats?
Labels: Perky Paula, Work
posted by Green at 3/24/2008 11:44:00 AM
6 Comments:
hahahaha. awesome.
I don't know... I am not liking the advice the therapist is giving PP... because now she's pawned PP off on poor unsuspecting GY. I say the therapist needs to share portion of PP's therapy bills with GY.
And who ISN'T a cat person? (Actually, I confess, I was NOT a cat person... until I met my oldest cat as a kitten. He was SOOO cute. Then he grew. So I went and rescued yet another kitten... and HE was sooooo cute. And thus, I have 2 adult cats.... I do love them... but they're not kittens no more...)
fuck you, I love my cats. :P :P :P
you're mean.
are you serious about the cat pictures on the memory stick on the key fob ? because ... OHMYGOD.
beth
Ha! What a wonderful thing, that Perky Paula is making such Progress. :)
OMG, you totally hate me because I love cats, don't you? Damn.
;-)
C
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