Fucking Yoga: You Are Your Own Best Friend
Aside from my private lesson, this was the first time I went to yoga on a weekend. I was running a little late, which means I got there right on time, and I was surprised that close to half a dozen people came in after me.
The teacher was somebody I'd never met before, but she has one of those faces that make you think you went to camp or college with her, and I liked her right away. I liked how she ran the class, although once again, I felt like I was going to pass out. I've felt that way in the last three classes I've gone to, since my time-out on Tuesday. Maybe I'm not drinking enough water beforehand? I don't know. Whatever the reason, it's very unsettling.
It's clear that I could never be a yoga guru - I'm the only participant in every class who never breathes or OMs.
Today was a monumental yoga day. No, I did not open up my heart center. But I was able to do the push-up thing and the sitting-while-balancing-on-the-tailbone thing, both of which are new for me. In the past when doing the balancing-on-the-tailbone thing, I couldn't do it at all, then I graduated to holding my knees while balancing. Today, I had stomach muscles. And I USED THEM. It took every ounce of restraint to not yell, "Hey guys! Look at me! I'm doing it!"
I was really pleased about these new abilities. On Thursday I noticed indentations under my cheekbones. For all my bitching and moaning, this yoga shit is paying off. Less than a month and it's paying off. I have more than two months left of my 90 days and I'm already worrying about what I'll do when that ends.
Today during nap-time the yogi came over, gently took my ankles, and kind of pulled my legs out. Normally I have a really hard time during nap-time, because laying on the floor hurts my lower back; I get muscles spasms. Not today.
Being at yoga makes me feel like I have ADD - my mind literally RACES and I can not for the life of me calm down and focus on breathing or heart centers or whatever I'm supposed to think about. I amused myself today by wondering what a class of ADD and ADHD grade-school boys would look like doing yoga. Which led me to think of the opposite extreme and made me wonder if autistic kids would dig yoga, because there's such an inward focus.
Here are the things I thought about while doing tree pose and nap-time:
- I should re-polish my toenails.
- Remember to put soap in the shower before getting IN the shower when you get home.
- This guy next to me needs a longer jaw.
- Hey! Is that Calvin, wearing a pimp coat?!
- I am so excited for my dog-sitting to begin.
- It IS! The guy next to me has a tattoo of Calvin as a pimp!
- Who just coughed? There is no coughing during nap-time! BE QUIET! YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING!
- Maybe I'll have matzah ball soup for lunch.
- I should update my resume today.
- Remember to add Workshare and DeltaView and whatever the hell else that new icon on my desk top is all about.
Labels: Yoga
posted by Green at 4/21/2007 01:44:00 PM
3 Comments:
Oddly enough, seemingly out of the blue, last Sunday during Yoga, I felt nauseated and a bit shocky. Best guess is a vaso-vagal response, but I couldn't recall doing anything that would have triggered it. hm
And ADD/ADHD yoga, there's a comedy skit there somewhere. As I've said before I'm aiming for geezer yoga.
My children do yoga, and I've seen the preschoolers(3-4yo's) do it at their school. It's so funny and so sweet at the same time.
The thing I hate most about yoga is listening to loud breathers. Breathing loudly grosses me out. (which is ironic, because I snore like nobody's business.) But the nasal breathing, then loud exhalations? Gah-ross. I just envision those mouth germs getting into my air space and forget about mind-clearing meditation. I'm meditating about some Emergen-C.
I have often thought of blogging this. There are several loud mouth yawners in my lecture classes, which I think is a) horribly gross and b) terribly rude.
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