Steady Hatred of Yoga
You may wonder why I continue to go if I hate yoga so much. Do not think yourself alone, young grasshopper, for I often wonder the same thing also. Let's review together. Yoga is supposed to be good for arthritis, which I have. It's also something that fits my unbending work schedule. Plus, it's the least expensive class I can take that's also closest to my home. Thus, yoga.
When I got home from work yesterday and checked my e-mail, I found my roommate's invitation/suggestion that we go to yoga together. The idea of going with her sounded terrible to me, and I managed to sneak out without her. Not that I don't like The New and Improved Steamroller*, because I do, very much. Having a good roommate is like having a fun friend sleep over every night! (What's that? That's how it's supposed to be? I had no idea. Anyway.) Yoga is not something I consider myself to be good at, and that's why I don't want company.
Although yoga's supposed to be a non-competitive thing, there was a guy across from me who kept checking what I was doing. You could see it as clearly as if it was stamped on his forehead: I MUST do better than the fat girl!
You know I'm a bitch (why do people think fatties are jolly?), but what you may not know is that I'm very competitive and (for a regular person, not a yoga person) pretty flexible, so you better believe I totally played his game. Because I had the disastrous first yoga class that took me over four days to recover from, I don't push my body as far as it can go these days in yoga. Well actually I do, because it's the only way I know. But then I relax and pull back anywhere from 2-4 inches.
So I'd watch the guy watch me, I'd stop 2-4 inches before I was killing myself, see him get comfortable going one inch further than I'd gone, and then put my hands flat on the floor AND bend my elbows. He didn't know how I was doing it and was very frustrated. It was one of the first times I was having fun at yoga.
I got a case of the giggles during the "tree" portion of the class last night - everyone is balacing on one leg, and I thought about how much fun it would be if somebody just ran up and body-slammed the first person, making everyone down the line fall over, like a row of dominoes.
Nap time was boring and I wanted to leave. No change there. Embracing the breathing doesn't seem like it's going to happen.
Last night's teacher was really nice and I liked her a lot. Super friendly, but not so hippy-dippy that I found her corny. She started the class by talking about American Idol, and insisted everyone keep up to date so that we could discuss in more detail next Tuesday. I'd meant to go on Monday because I like the Monday night teacher, but was too tired. Plus, that would have set me up to go back Wednesday, and not only don't I like the Wednesday teacher, but that would also mean missing Friday Night Lights.
By the way, for any guys reading who may be considering going to yoga but worrying it's too girly or whatever, I counted last night, and it was an even split of guys and girls.
*Coming soon: a more in-depth look at The New and Improved Steamroller, who will transition into her own name.
When I got home from work yesterday and checked my e-mail, I found my roommate's invitation/suggestion that we go to yoga together. The idea of going with her sounded terrible to me, and I managed to sneak out without her. Not that I don't like The New and Improved Steamroller*, because I do, very much. Having a good roommate is like having a fun friend sleep over every night! (What's that? That's how it's supposed to be? I had no idea. Anyway.) Yoga is not something I consider myself to be good at, and that's why I don't want company.
Although yoga's supposed to be a non-competitive thing, there was a guy across from me who kept checking what I was doing. You could see it as clearly as if it was stamped on his forehead: I MUST do better than the fat girl!
You know I'm a bitch (why do people think fatties are jolly?), but what you may not know is that I'm very competitive and (for a regular person, not a yoga person) pretty flexible, so you better believe I totally played his game. Because I had the disastrous first yoga class that took me over four days to recover from, I don't push my body as far as it can go these days in yoga. Well actually I do, because it's the only way I know. But then I relax and pull back anywhere from 2-4 inches.
So I'd watch the guy watch me, I'd stop 2-4 inches before I was killing myself, see him get comfortable going one inch further than I'd gone, and then put my hands flat on the floor AND bend my elbows. He didn't know how I was doing it and was very frustrated. It was one of the first times I was having fun at yoga.
I got a case of the giggles during the "tree" portion of the class last night - everyone is balacing on one leg, and I thought about how much fun it would be if somebody just ran up and body-slammed the first person, making everyone down the line fall over, like a row of dominoes.
Nap time was boring and I wanted to leave. No change there. Embracing the breathing doesn't seem like it's going to happen.
Last night's teacher was really nice and I liked her a lot. Super friendly, but not so hippy-dippy that I found her corny. She started the class by talking about American Idol, and insisted everyone keep up to date so that we could discuss in more detail next Tuesday. I'd meant to go on Monday because I like the Monday night teacher, but was too tired. Plus, that would have set me up to go back Wednesday, and not only don't I like the Wednesday teacher, but that would also mean missing Friday Night Lights.
By the way, for any guys reading who may be considering going to yoga but worrying it's too girly or whatever, I counted last night, and it was an even split of guys and girls.
*Coming soon: a more in-depth look at The New and Improved Steamroller, who will transition into her own name.
Labels: Yoga
posted by Green at 4/11/2007 11:33:00 AM
3 Comments:
Good to hear the new roommate is working out so far.
And keep on sticking with the yoga. You'll get better. And all of the yogis can't be hippy-dippy. Eventually you'll find a really great one. Then you can turn into stalker-student and just go to all his classes instead of messing around with the flowery people.
Grasshopper,
I too hated Yoga once. That is, until my cooky-ass ex-girlfriend made me do her home Yoga DVD (info at www.mindandbodyworkout.net) and it was here (the Tri Athlete) that I finally found my Yoga Zen. Stay Gold, Pony Boy!
You should come to the yoga class I take. Tree? Hah! Mine should be called Tree Next to wall in strong wind, may fall anyway" And I know you'd love to see (or hear) me fall.
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