Organic Epidural
While I was at Safeway yesterday, I found organic Kraft macaroni and cheese. It was a dollar more expensive than Spiderman, but I decided to try it anyway. I love Kraft mac & cheese.
So I made some last night. Then I ate some. It tasted okay. Nothing great, nothing awful, you know? It does NOT taste the same as regular Kraft macaroni and cheese, but it doesn't have that bad aftertaste that Trader Joe's and Annie's have.
Then a few hours later, I went to bed. 15 minutes after laying down, I began having the absolute worst cramps I've ever had in my entire life. It was horrible. I was in excruciating pain. I tried to psych out the pain. "Women give birth in fields. That's got to hurt way more than this; therefore this doesn't hurt that much. How do I feel now?" Didn't work. I wondered exactly how much more childbirth hurts than what I was feeling. Two times more? Ten times more painful? I came to the conclusion that if I ever give birth, there will be a reservation for an epidural in my name. Back and leg pain? No problem! But I am apparently not cut out for any sort of stomach pain.
After about an hour I felt better, and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning everything was fine. In wondering what caused my horrible cramps, I mentally listed everything I hate yesterday. The only thing I'd never had before was the organic mac & cheese. Clearly, organic is NOT better. I'll never make that mistake again.
So I made some last night. Then I ate some. It tasted okay. Nothing great, nothing awful, you know? It does NOT taste the same as regular Kraft macaroni and cheese, but it doesn't have that bad aftertaste that Trader Joe's and Annie's have.
Then a few hours later, I went to bed. 15 minutes after laying down, I began having the absolute worst cramps I've ever had in my entire life. It was horrible. I was in excruciating pain. I tried to psych out the pain. "Women give birth in fields. That's got to hurt way more than this; therefore this doesn't hurt that much. How do I feel now?" Didn't work. I wondered exactly how much more childbirth hurts than what I was feeling. Two times more? Ten times more painful? I came to the conclusion that if I ever give birth, there will be a reservation for an epidural in my name. Back and leg pain? No problem! But I am apparently not cut out for any sort of stomach pain.
After about an hour I felt better, and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning everything was fine. In wondering what caused my horrible cramps, I mentally listed everything I hate yesterday. The only thing I'd never had before was the organic mac & cheese. Clearly, organic is NOT better. I'll never make that mistake again.
Labels: Anti-Foodie, I'm Hurt
posted by Green at 3/03/2007 04:45:00 PM
3 Comments:
Annie's is blech. I am Kraft-loyal as well. Throw in a couple of slices off a slab of Velveeta, cut up some hot dogs, and heck, that's dinner some nights when DH isn't home.
Sorry the organic Smack and Cheese did you wrong. That sounds most unpleasant.
we called Kraft dinner "the yellow death" when we were in college, because it was cheap, easy to cook and filled the hole. But eating it for seven days straight would constipate you so bad, lol. Hence the name.
catherine
A friend mentioned your blog in passing earlier today, and I thought I would check it out, because my friend has good taste. :)
The best macaroni and cheese I ever had I actually made myself from scratch. Pasta and everything. No foolin'!First day of Home Economics in 8th grade (that only a week later I would transfer out of for graphic arts). This would explain my terrific doodling abilities and my terrible cooking.
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