The Grandmas Are Out Of Control

Evidence:

1. Hoochie Mama Grandma has been running around discussing what colors everyone should wear this week with more enthusiasm than usual. Now not only is it enough to wear the correct color (tomorrow is red), but you have to wear the right type of clothing. Today was turtlenecks.

2. Cat Lady is the only person who routinely screams at LEL. Yesterday she asked LEL to tell her boss that Cat Lady had gone to get some office supply if he was looking for her. LEL jumped up and started to say she would get it for Cat Lady. This was not good, and Cat Lady yelled at her that she was NOT to do that. I didn't think it was so awful as to deserve a yelling-at, but I did agree with Cat Lady yelling at LEL for spraying her perfume. I also agreed with her yelling at LEL for letting her cell phone play some obnoxious rap song when it rang. Loudly.

3. Baby Grandma is the new chick who replaced the Awesome Grandma who used to work for Kennedy. The jury is still out on her. She took a step in the right direction (in the eyes of the attorneys) by putting out a bowl of candy. Cat Lady does not like her. I think it's because Baby Grandma is young (younger than me, by maybe a year) and cute and wears cute clothes.

4. LEL. Where to even start with her? Even though she and I have been getting along well, she manages to annoy everyone else. Today when I went to tell Tuna I was leaving to meet a friend for lunch, he was leaning over, elbows on desk, head in hands. "Tuna! Are you okay?" He wearily lifts his head, shakes it slowly, and puts it back in his hands. I stand in his doorway for a second, trying to figure out what I should do next. LEL's voice is registering in the background ... OH! She's on Tuna's speakerphone. She's wearing him down. I smiled, and fled.
This afternoon Cowboy wanted to talk about that project LEL and I worked on a few days ago. Apparently LEL didn't enter the figures for several clients on the master list. The two of them stood at my pony wall to discuss this. Cowboy asked LEL why she hadn't entered figures for Client Bumbo. LEL's response is that she noticed this, and brought it to Cowboy's attention by pointing out that no figures had been entered for Client Plunkster and so yesterday she asked me to dictate the figures to her. Cowboy said, "If you realized you were missing figures for one client, then why didn't you check to make sure no other figures were missing?" LEL insisted she brought it to Cowboy's attention. LEL was lying, and Cowboy busted her. "No Loose, I'm bringing this to your attention right NOW."

LEL is so weird about things like this. If I got busted lying, I'd want the ground to swallow me up whole. I'd be so embarrassed. LEL just nods and says okay, I see, right. It almost seems like she doesn't grasp the gravity of the situation - that her boss, a partner, just busted her in a lie. That he just realized she fucked up a huge project.

So they go back and forth, and I half heartedly pretend to be fascinated by my work and also let them see that I'm paying attention (since I worked on this project too). Cowboy asks how LEL is planning to fix this fuckup. She starts yapping about going to the Accounting Person immediately. Cowboy looks at me. "We can go through the master list, make a sublist comprised of all clients that have no figures, get the figures from Accounting, and enter them into the master list." Cowboy nods. He looks at LEL. "So how are you going to fix this?" She starts shuffling through her lists and yapping about nothing. Cowboy stands there, slowly closes his eyes, then opens them. I felt like I was watching his blood pressure rise. LEL is going nuts and taking all the attorneys with her.

She is planning to wear satin pants tomorrow. I'm almost afraid to go to work and see them.

In an exciting update, LEL has lost one of her work shoes on this morning's commute. This is why she is walking around now wearing shoes like these instead. With her satin pants.