And Then My Head Exploded
The only thing that strikes more fear in my heart than going to doctors alone and dealing with insurance, is going to dentists.
Yesterday I went to a new eye doctor. By myself. At least you don't take clothes off at eye doctors. I almost called a friend for a pep talk before walking in, and then thought if she laughed at me I'd cry and feel worse, so I didn't.
Nice Partner has gone to this place, which made me feel slightly better about going to see a doctor I didn't know. Last time I went to a new eye doctor, she fired me. I didn't even know doctors could do that, but apparently they can. I asked too many questions, that's why she fired me. I think they thought I was trying to argue about the cost, but really I was just confused about what insurance would pay for. Because insurance is not simply "Hello, we are your Vision Insurance, and will pay for $250 worth of vision related issues per year." Oh no. It's more like "Hello, we are your Vision Insurance. We will pay for a regular eye exam if you get it on the third even Tuesday of a prime numbered month, $25 towards a contact lens exam if you wear contacts that are 35% soft and 48.6 % hard, $85 towards quadruple-focal glasses every 24 months OR $35 towards contacts every 24 months, $40 for glasses frames, and $35 towards a fitting fee."
Previously, I went to the same eye doctor for over a dozen years, back in New York (if you're on Long Island and want his name, let me know). I trust him with my life. His wife works with him, he knows my whole family, I love him. My brother and I have joked about "What will we do when he retires? He should hire a protege and start grooming that person NOW!"
You know how much I hate having to meet new people. So new people in positions of authority are even worse. And new people in positions in authority doing things to me that may hurt? And who know things about my body that I don't understand?
I tried channel my inner Jerry and help the eye doctor help me - on the form I had to fill out, where it asked if there was anything they should know I wrote that I have doctor phobia and learning disabilities. To make a long eye exam short, this eye doctor said my prescription hasn't changed. I do not believe her. If my prescription has not changed, then why do I feel like I see so poorly? No joke, she blamed it on my blue eyes. That's right, apparently having lighter colored eyes makes it harder to block out light and focus on things. Or something. She lost me there.
You know that glaucoma test with the puff of air? I can't do it. I told her that. Every time my New York eye doctor has tried to do that to me, I flinch. This eye doctor was all cocky and "Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to do it this time!" Ummm.... lady? I know myself. Myself and I? We've met before. I know what makes me jump. Being scared scares me. I don't like surprise parties, I don't like people jumping out from around the corner, and I don't like the puff of air! Imagine how hard it was for me to not laugh when she was shocked that I couldn't sit still for the glaucoma test.
I hate health insurance. Vision insurance. All of it. Although my brother told me something interesting this week. He said that health insurance was not created to pay for all things medical. It was created to serve similar purposes that renters and car insurance serve. To be there in an emergency. You can't submit a claim to your car insurance company when you go put gas in your car, or get an oil change. Only if you get in a car accident. When I think of it that way, health insurance doesn't seem so bad. In fact, it seems mighty generous.
I still hate going to doctors though.
Yesterday I went to a new eye doctor. By myself. At least you don't take clothes off at eye doctors. I almost called a friend for a pep talk before walking in, and then thought if she laughed at me I'd cry and feel worse, so I didn't.
Nice Partner has gone to this place, which made me feel slightly better about going to see a doctor I didn't know. Last time I went to a new eye doctor, she fired me. I didn't even know doctors could do that, but apparently they can. I asked too many questions, that's why she fired me. I think they thought I was trying to argue about the cost, but really I was just confused about what insurance would pay for. Because insurance is not simply "Hello, we are your Vision Insurance, and will pay for $250 worth of vision related issues per year." Oh no. It's more like "Hello, we are your Vision Insurance. We will pay for a regular eye exam if you get it on the third even Tuesday of a prime numbered month, $25 towards a contact lens exam if you wear contacts that are 35% soft and 48.6 % hard, $85 towards quadruple-focal glasses every 24 months OR $35 towards contacts every 24 months, $40 for glasses frames, and $35 towards a fitting fee."
Previously, I went to the same eye doctor for over a dozen years, back in New York (if you're on Long Island and want his name, let me know). I trust him with my life. His wife works with him, he knows my whole family, I love him. My brother and I have joked about "What will we do when he retires? He should hire a protege and start grooming that person NOW!"
You know how much I hate having to meet new people. So new people in positions of authority are even worse. And new people in positions in authority doing things to me that may hurt? And who know things about my body that I don't understand?
I tried channel my inner Jerry and help the eye doctor help me - on the form I had to fill out, where it asked if there was anything they should know I wrote that I have doctor phobia and learning disabilities. To make a long eye exam short, this eye doctor said my prescription hasn't changed. I do not believe her. If my prescription has not changed, then why do I feel like I see so poorly? No joke, she blamed it on my blue eyes. That's right, apparently having lighter colored eyes makes it harder to block out light and focus on things. Or something. She lost me there.
You know that glaucoma test with the puff of air? I can't do it. I told her that. Every time my New York eye doctor has tried to do that to me, I flinch. This eye doctor was all cocky and "Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to do it this time!" Ummm.... lady? I know myself. Myself and I? We've met before. I know what makes me jump. Being scared scares me. I don't like surprise parties, I don't like people jumping out from around the corner, and I don't like the puff of air! Imagine how hard it was for me to not laugh when she was shocked that I couldn't sit still for the glaucoma test.
I hate health insurance. Vision insurance. All of it. Although my brother told me something interesting this week. He said that health insurance was not created to pay for all things medical. It was created to serve similar purposes that renters and car insurance serve. To be there in an emergency. You can't submit a claim to your car insurance company when you go put gas in your car, or get an oil change. Only if you get in a car accident. When I think of it that way, health insurance doesn't seem so bad. In fact, it seems mighty generous.
I still hate going to doctors though.
posted by Green at 12/15/2006 07:44:00 AM
5 Comments:
I hate going to the doctor, any doctor. I realize that there are some great ones who are good at what they do and truly care, but...I hate visiting them.
And insurance? Evil. The devil himself invented the concept.
I'm ok with doctors, but I've had many friends who are phobic. One was having a severe reaction to seafood and swelling up and having trouble breathing, so I took her to the clinic and held her hand and talked to her for 20 minutes because she was so panicked about getting a shot. Another passes out when she goes to the eye doctor. I can't imagine what happens to her at the dentist!
So, you're in good company.
And I once asked so many questions of an eye doctor that he was very late for his next appt. Questions are good. If people aren't prepared to answer questions, then they shouldn't go into fields where they have to deal with people. I am extremely uncomfortable with doctors who are impatient with my questions.
One more thing: I wonder if you'd be able to do the puff if you were controlling the puffing?
The puff creeps me out, too. I clench my fists and clamp down my teeth as I await the torturous puff. A. and I are going Friday. I will think of you during my visit.
I've never had "the puff' and don't really know what it entails, but now i have something to dread. It's like when my friend had an appendectomy in 5th grade.. "He put his finger WHERE?" (I had mine at 18, but was too sick to care)
I never understood how the hell they determine ANYTHING from shooting your eye with AIR!!! It just doesn't make sense. I deal with it, though. Now that I've read this, though, I may refuse from now on.
Health insurance is crap. I'm not saying I want a free ride or anything, but seriously? I have a ton of health problems that I can't even begin to sort out because I don't have health insurance yet. And I can't go to the doctor between now and then because if I do it will be a "pre-existing condition". Son of a b*%$&!! I'm moving to Canada...
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