Somebody's Gonna Hurt Someone, Before the (Day) Is Through
Today's color is red. I am not wearing red, because I only own one red shirt and it's an Aca Joe sweatshirt from Woodbury Commons (that'd be the one on Long Island, NOT Newburgh) that used to be my brother's. In like 7th grade. Clearly not appropriate for work.
But red IS the appropriate color today. My parents would be so proud to know how well I'm doing at staying out of the fights going on this morning.
One of the grandmas (the one who tells me when she thinks I'll need a sweater when I'm headed out to lunch, and likes for me to give her a weather report every day when I return) was being a tiny bit loud this morning. I say "tiny bit" because I didn't notice her talking. Loose Earlobe Lady SHUSHED her. I KNOW!!! Weather Grandma said to LEL, "Are you shushing me?" When LEL nodded and said yes, Weather Grandma rolled her eyes and said that was rich. It WAS rich.
And it only got worse from there. A few minutes later LEL laughed (loudly) and Weather Grandma shushed her in retaliation. Cat Lady tried to intervene (she's sort of friends with LEL - it's like a public service friendship in that she's friends with LEL just so she can tell her things for the good of everyone else who works with her) but Weather Grandma shut her down. They started arguing about whether LEL should be allowed to tell others to be quiet when she herself is never quiet. LEL went to HR to complain about the noise. Weather Grandma made fun of LEL for running to tattle. There were threats to go to one of the managing partners.
Ladies (and I think you know I'm using that term generously): Tomorrow's color is grow the fuck up.
But red IS the appropriate color today. My parents would be so proud to know how well I'm doing at staying out of the fights going on this morning.
One of the grandmas (the one who tells me when she thinks I'll need a sweater when I'm headed out to lunch, and likes for me to give her a weather report every day when I return) was being a tiny bit loud this morning. I say "tiny bit" because I didn't notice her talking. Loose Earlobe Lady SHUSHED her. I KNOW!!! Weather Grandma said to LEL, "Are you shushing me?" When LEL nodded and said yes, Weather Grandma rolled her eyes and said that was rich. It WAS rich.
And it only got worse from there. A few minutes later LEL laughed (loudly) and Weather Grandma shushed her in retaliation. Cat Lady tried to intervene (she's sort of friends with LEL - it's like a public service friendship in that she's friends with LEL just so she can tell her things for the good of everyone else who works with her) but Weather Grandma shut her down. They started arguing about whether LEL should be allowed to tell others to be quiet when she herself is never quiet. LEL went to HR to complain about the noise. Weather Grandma made fun of LEL for running to tattle. There were threats to go to one of the managing partners.
Ladies (and I think you know I'm using that term generously): Tomorrow's color is grow the fuck up.
posted by Green at 7/20/2006 11:03:00 AM
6 Comments:
Sad, yet absolutely friggin' hilarious. More and more I'm convinced you actually work on a junior high school playground and are just making up all that stuff about lawyers. LOL. Priceless.
Oh. My. God. I am ROLLING!
Girl, you are so funny. You're like, wicked funny.
too f-ing funny. i also love random people telling other random people how to dress appropriatly, whether that be color or layers.
funny funny!!!!
What's next, Naked mud wrestling grandmas?
Oh, what what would I pay to witness a red-shirt-wearing Granny Take Down in your office.
My money's on Weather Grandma in 4 rounds.
Post a Comment
<< Home