I Guess There's No Reason Why Not
When I was little, I used to like asking my dad if I could go outside to ride my bike more than I liked asking my mom. Path of least resistance and all. I was no dummy.
I often got told no, but there were glorious Days of Yes also. The most frequest answer to my request (other than no) was:
Is your room clean? Would *I* think it's clean?
That was my cue to run upstairs and straighten up my piles of Highlights and Crickets magazines, shove my clothes somewhere other than my doll cradle and floor and give my room the illusion of cleanliness.
The best version of Yes that I got was the no followed by a yes.
GY: Can I please go ride my bike?
GreenDad: No
GY: Why?
GreenDad: I guess there's no reason why not.
That was my cue to zoom away before he changed his mind. At that moment, I had just been granted 15 minutes of freedom to ride my bike two whole houses to the left of ours, and two whole houses to the right of ours. Back and forth, for 14 and a half minutes. At which time I would race inside to be on time, and ask for another 15 minutes.
My mother's rule was that for every minute I was late, that was a day (week? I can't remember which anymore) that I could not ride my bike. It truly seemed like she LIKED if I was half a minute late. If the clock on the microwave said 4:16 before I made it into the kitchen to announce my return, she seemed happy to tell me all about how being late was unacceptable. Maybe she wasn't happy, though if I was grounded from riding my bike I suppose it allowed her to do things without having to keep an eye on the clock. But it really seemed to me like she was just gleefully waiting to catch me being 30 seconds late.
My father's rule was ... the same as my mother's. He just didn't really enforce it as strictly as she did. I'm not saying I took advantage and was gone for 17 minutes or anything crazy like that. But if the clock on the VCR said it was one minute later than we'd agreed I would be back, I was fairly confident there'd be another "I guess there's no reason why not" in my near future.
Yesterday I went to a party, and my friend showed up with her newborn baby. I'd told her in advance I wanted to hold and squeeze the baby and she let me. My other friend's daughter was also there, and she asked if she could hold the baby. I said no. She's only three years old, and ... and .... and when she asked "Why? I'll be careful" I realized "I guess there's no reason why not."
So I let her. Not for 15 minutes though. Just until the baby seemed unhappy.*
*No babies were harmed in the making of this story.
I often got told no, but there were glorious Days of Yes also. The most frequest answer to my request (other than no) was:
Is your room clean? Would *I* think it's clean?
That was my cue to run upstairs and straighten up my piles of Highlights and Crickets magazines, shove my clothes somewhere other than my doll cradle and floor and give my room the illusion of cleanliness.
The best version of Yes that I got was the no followed by a yes.
GY: Can I please go ride my bike?
GreenDad: No
GY: Why?
GreenDad: I guess there's no reason why not.
That was my cue to zoom away before he changed his mind. At that moment, I had just been granted 15 minutes of freedom to ride my bike two whole houses to the left of ours, and two whole houses to the right of ours. Back and forth, for 14 and a half minutes. At which time I would race inside to be on time, and ask for another 15 minutes.
My mother's rule was that for every minute I was late, that was a day (week? I can't remember which anymore) that I could not ride my bike. It truly seemed like she LIKED if I was half a minute late. If the clock on the microwave said 4:16 before I made it into the kitchen to announce my return, she seemed happy to tell me all about how being late was unacceptable. Maybe she wasn't happy, though if I was grounded from riding my bike I suppose it allowed her to do things without having to keep an eye on the clock. But it really seemed to me like she was just gleefully waiting to catch me being 30 seconds late.
My father's rule was ... the same as my mother's. He just didn't really enforce it as strictly as she did. I'm not saying I took advantage and was gone for 17 minutes or anything crazy like that. But if the clock on the VCR said it was one minute later than we'd agreed I would be back, I was fairly confident there'd be another "I guess there's no reason why not" in my near future.
Yesterday I went to a party, and my friend showed up with her newborn baby. I'd told her in advance I wanted to hold and squeeze the baby and she let me. My other friend's daughter was also there, and she asked if she could hold the baby. I said no. She's only three years old, and ... and .... and when she asked "Why? I'll be careful" I realized "I guess there's no reason why not."
So I let her. Not for 15 minutes though. Just until the baby seemed unhappy.*
*No babies were harmed in the making of this story.
posted by Green at 7/10/2006 07:28:00 AM
6 Comments:
Thats really kinda sad. It's not like you were out of site of the house. Some people are control freaks who arn't happy unless they can make someone else miserable. Did your brother get the same treatment?
Catherine
I do that ALL the time. Thank god I usually catch myself and realize that I'm on autopilot and that there's no good reason my son can't do whatever it is.
Anon 1:22 PM,
After a long time, I was allowed to ride my bike around our neighborhood and wasn't stuck in the Five Home Circuit, though the fifteen minute limit stuck. I would need to check with my brother about where he was allowed to ride - but I think when he first started riding a bike he had the same time limit and Five Home Circuit. It didn't last forever, but it certainly lasted too long for my happiness.
Is it weird that I'm so proud of myself that we made your blog?
IT WAS MY BABY, PEOPLE!!!
I wonder if this is just a human reflex?
I say no to my kids all the time before thinking. I think it becuase they both seem to be in super whiney mode and instead of listening to more whinning, I just say no, in a lame attempt to get them to shut up. This always backfires, of course, because then you get "BUT WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY CAN'T I?? It's NOT FAIRRRRRRRRRRR"
Good for you Green to see the error of your ways.
I love this post. Just love it!
Char
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