There's a New Lauren
My name is .... we'll say it's Lauren. In high school I was best friends with a girl named Lauryn. Every time we called each other, we'd say "Hey Lauren, it's Lauryn" or the other way around. She was wild and got in lots of trouble and it was a lot of fun for me, the Girl Who Wasn't Allowed To Do Anything. Naturally, my mother hated Lauryn, and that we were friends. When I was a college freshman, we lost touch. And by "lost touch" I mean that when I called my mother saying I was miserable at my college and wanted to come home, she said I only could if I promised to have nothing to do with Lauryn ever again.
Long story slightly less long: several years passed, and it turned out that Lauryn lived in N. FL when I was living in S. FL. We got together a couple of times, and I learned something important about life. Even if you grow up, and do grownup things, it doesn't mean you've Grown Up. You can become a stripper, your husband can be one of your former customers, he can marry you, buy you a house, you can get pregnant three times (smoke through all three pregnancies), and become a stay-at-home-mom, but you can still be just as immature as you were in high school.
When I moved to SF, I didn't tell Lauryn. As far as she's concerned, I dropped off the face of the earth, and I'm okay with her thinking that. Since moving here, I've met a new Lauren. She's also from the East Coast, and Jewish like me. The New Lauren has had some hard times creating a good relationship with her mother, and yesterday I asked her if we could talk about my Mother Load problems. She said yes, and last night I found myself saying something I haven't said in a long time. "Hey Lauren, it's Lauren."
It brought me back, and felt kind of weird at first. But the more we talked the clearer it was that she is her own Lauren, and that this is a good Lauren for me to know and be friends with. The New Lauren listened, asked clarifying questions, commiserated with me, and made some excellent observations and insights that I couldn't see due to being too close to the situation.
It wasn't my intention, but I'm glad I've promoted myself to a better Lauren.
P.S. Now the sound "Lauren" sounds funny to me because I've said it so many times in my head writing this entry.
Long story slightly less long: several years passed, and it turned out that Lauryn lived in N. FL when I was living in S. FL. We got together a couple of times, and I learned something important about life. Even if you grow up, and do grownup things, it doesn't mean you've Grown Up. You can become a stripper, your husband can be one of your former customers, he can marry you, buy you a house, you can get pregnant three times (smoke through all three pregnancies), and become a stay-at-home-mom, but you can still be just as immature as you were in high school.
When I moved to SF, I didn't tell Lauryn. As far as she's concerned, I dropped off the face of the earth, and I'm okay with her thinking that. Since moving here, I've met a new Lauren. She's also from the East Coast, and Jewish like me. The New Lauren has had some hard times creating a good relationship with her mother, and yesterday I asked her if we could talk about my Mother Load problems. She said yes, and last night I found myself saying something I haven't said in a long time. "Hey Lauren, it's Lauren."
It brought me back, and felt kind of weird at first. But the more we talked the clearer it was that she is her own Lauren, and that this is a good Lauren for me to know and be friends with. The New Lauren listened, asked clarifying questions, commiserated with me, and made some excellent observations and insights that I couldn't see due to being too close to the situation.
It wasn't my intention, but I'm glad I've promoted myself to a better Lauren.
P.S. Now the sound "Lauren" sounds funny to me because I've said it so many times in my head writing this entry.
posted by Green at 1/11/2006 10:21:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home