The Mother Load: Part Two

As previously stated, my father was out of work for almost a year. He just started working again in October. Money was very tight for my parents for most of 2005, and still is as they catch up (my mother hasn't worked in over a decade). About a month before my birthday in October, my mother told me that my parents would not be giving presents for birthdays or Hanukah this year, because of finances. I certainly understand and support that, and told my mother such.

My brother and I bought our father a birthday present and all his Hanukah presents. I got my mother her Hanukah present over a month ago. We were all comfortable with this arrangement.

This past week, I received a "spa basket" that costs almost $100 as a birthday present from my parents. Two days later, I received over $200 worth of Hanukah presents from Red Envelope. What the hell happened to the whole "no presents" thing we agreed on? My brother received almost the same things from Red Envelope. He has had several discussions with our father, and apparently my mother purchased these presents without talking about it with our dad. My brother is sending his Hanukah presents back, and asking Red Envelople to credit our father's charge card. He has encouraged me to do the same, even saying he will send me a check for the cost of shipping if I'll send my presents back.

I'm sending my Hanukah presents back to Red Envelope. My dad could really use the money. Once again, I am not sure what to say to my mother. Because once again, my goal is NOT to hurt her feelings. And they WILL be hurt when she knows I've essentially rejected her presents. But if my brother and I send our presents back, there's a slim chance our father may feel like he can afford to go out to lunch once a month or so, when a co-worker invites him.

It's weird that things are so much more complicated now that I've moved further away.