I'm Weird

So I was chatting online with a married buddy and the subject of eHarmony came up. I told her I took their quiz a little over a year ago, but they said I was too weird to be matched with anyone. She asked if I blogged about it. She seemed to think it was funny. Dare I say "hilarious?" I do dare, since she mentioned peeing in her pants. I did not see the humor, but it must be the kind of humor only married people can understand.

Regardless, I realize I've changed a lot in the last year or so, and therefore told her I'd try eHarmony again, and if they again pronounced me too weird to match with anyone else, I'd blog about it. I just took their quiz and again, they pronounced me weird. So here I am.

What they said:

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

Then they invited me to read my profile. Since it's free (and I'm a cheap Jew), I welcomed the opportunity. Here's what it says:

You have a basic need to be supportive of others. You will agree with others, sometimes even if it's not what you really want.
You may demonstrate positive possessiveness by developing strong attachments; however, you will not be overly involved as some others tend to do.
You are a good friend and are always willing to help those you consider to be your friends. You also show strong ties, and will be uncomfortable when separated from your friends for an extended period.
You show self-control in most things you do; you are not an extremist. Others may see you as stable, mature and steadfast.
You prefer a warm, friendly environment free of conflict and hostility. In that environment, you prefer reassurance of your involvement and self-worth.
You tend to dislike sudden or abrupt changes. You prefer things the way they are. Your motto might be: "If it's not broken, don't fix it."
You tend to be a traditionalist, and will enjoy the social environment best if it is stable and predictable. You dislike sudden decisions about where to go or what to do, preferring to think things out first.
Others may perceive you as being undemonstrative and self-controlled. Not wanting to be the center of attention, you generally support others.
Because of your lenient and complacent nature, others with fewer scruples may take advantage of you. You could, perhaps, benefit from greater assertiveness.
You tend to be loyal to others. Your loyalty shows in a variety of ways including your "staying power" with relationships and activities.

You have a communications style which many people are comfortable with almost immediately. You are sincere, a good listener, not pushy and overall a comfortable person to be near.
You are somewhat reserved in meeting new people. As a result, you could benefit from more assertive people doing the appropriate introductions to new people.
In your group, you may support the group leader rather than vie for a leadership position yourself. As a result, the group leader will usually appreciate the support you bring.
In communicating with others, you may support the mainstream ideas rather than new trailblazing activities. You may prefer the stable and traditional activities.
You tend to be a good listener. Others may seek you out to share a thought or concern because of your empathic listening style.
You may be less talkative than some others, but people will generally know how you are feeling by observing many nonverbal cues.
Others will notice that you are a sincere person about what you say and do. This trait, along with the excellent listening skills, creates an individual whom most people find pleasant to be with and a calming type of person.
You tend to internalize conflict. As a result, if something about another is bothering you, you may bottle-up feelings and keep them inside.
You tend to work hard at making sure that other people are happy.
You are good at reconciling (i.e. you don't like to sulk after a conflict is resolved).
You are very supportive of other people.
You tend to set and maintain very high standards for yourself.
You are skilled at being diplomatic with people in all settings.
You take pride in being very loyal to friends and family.
You tend to have very high values.
You are very sincere in actions and words.
You are generally very patient with people.
You are skilled at finding practical solutions to complicated situations.
You are good at helping others to reach their goals.
You are a dependable and caring partner.

You may want:
• Others to present their ideas and information in a logical order.
• Better planning for change in the future.
• Reassurance.
• Respect among peers and friends for your quiet manner.
• Objectivity and logic in relationships and activities.
• Limited socializing, especially with new people.
• Detailed information about major decisions with complete instructions.
• Time to think things over before making a commitment.
• Facts and data before making decisions relating to others.
• No flattery or shallow praise

And that's what eHarmony thinks about me. I disagree that I'm as much of a pushover as they think I am, but other than that I pretty much agree with everything else.