How To Make My Head Spin

1. Tell me you're moving out in less than two weeks, after you've already paid me a full month of rent. Then tell me emphatically over and over you won't leave me hanging, but don't define what that means to you.

2. When I ask what the plan is with your move, tell me you forgot to mention it before, but you're moving out at the end of the month now.

So 9am is moving out at the end of April. Four people have responded to my roommate ad, two I didn't even want to meet, and two I set up times to meet. One no-showed. Prick. One showed up, stayed much longer than I would have liked him to, expressed great interest, then never followed up or responded to my follow up. Fucking flakers.

9am is shocked, SHOCKED! that it is taking longer than 1-3 days to find someone to replace him. He can't possibly think I take the first person who comes along, since the day I met him I met two other people (hence, his name here).

Meanwhile, a friend knew someone who was looking to rent out a room in the apartment she rents. I met with her, and as of yesterday am trying to move there, where the rent is $1000. !!! So now I desperately need help to move, and sell some things, like my living room furniture. If you're local and interested, by all means, let me know.

Crazy Girl and Golden Boy have generously agreed to store my dining room set in their garage. I'm thinking of just wrapping them all in a couple of drop cloths and hoping for the best. Is there some better way (that's inexpensive) to store a table and chairs in a garage?

So much to do, and so little time and money to do it with. In the midst of all this, the most awesome thing happened yesterday. I got to meet Shinyung. We'd tried to get together a few times, but in all honesty, I always flaked, not being able to force myself to meet up, for no good reason. As sweet as she seems online, she's even sweeter in person.

Speaking of which, I once noticed how people always gush about meeting other bloggers. Several months ago, I suggested to Wide Lawns how just once, wouldn't it be totally hilarious to see someone rip a blogger they just met to shreds? In the email I sent her, I included a fake write-up.

"She was dressed schlumpily, in clothes that looked like they came from the clearance racks of WalMart and her horribly dyed hair clearly hadn't been washed in over a week. We went to get drinks at a bar and she spilled red wine on my pants. I tried to smile and say it was okay but I couldn't believe she didn't offer to replace my pants, or at least pay for dry-cleaning. She also did this weird sniffling thing constantly that really made me want to shove a pack of tissues up her nose. Which, by the way, is TERRIBLE, so I don't know why she hasn't gotten a nose job yet. We all know she can afford it since she is forever posting pictures on her blog of the latest porcelain doll to be added to the collection that takes up her entire living room and study.

Over dinner she pulled out pictures of her kids to show me and let me tell you, this woman knows how to work the Photoshop, because these kids are UGLY! They barely even resemble the children she posts pics of on her blog. She went on and on about her special snowflakes and when I couldn't stand it anymore, I excused myself to the restroom. From there I escaped out the window and met up with a couple of my real friends three blocks away, where I drank and tried to forget the earlier part of the evening.

I would totally do it, if only I could meet up with someone who sucks. Alas, I always wind up getting together with the nicest people. WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS SUCK?