Lost: One Cold, Dark Heart
Two weeks ago I filled in for a secretary who I found out had a husband in a hospice. I took phone messages that said things like, "Heather called to ask how you're holding up. Call her if you need anything. She'll call you tonight," and "Jay called - he will drive over immediately after his last final and wanted to know if he could bring you anything."
The partner I was working with ran me crazy. At one point I almost cried from the stress. But the feedback I got was that she liked me. Thought I did a good job. And I moved on to the next desk...
Today I got an e-mail saying that partner needed help - was I very busy? Why yes, I was very busy. Updating my Twitter status and playing on Facebook. So I went over to the desk of the secretary who works for that partner. I had never met her before.
She was on the phone, so I wandered over to file cabinets nearby to wait for her to finish. She mumbled, "Oh, hi Green." How did she know it was me?
When she hung up the phone I walked over to her. She looked awful. Really, awful. We chatted. I noticed she didn't answer when I asked "How are you?" Turns out her husband just died. That week she was out? She was spending with him.
Now she was having muscle spasms, horrible muscle spasms in her back. Needed to go home. I was standing over him, and I felt like I had to stay that way. From Sunday night to Friday night at 10. Even though it hurt. That it was so important that I stay like that. She seemed like she needed to talk, so I stood there. And listened. Of course she needed to stay like that, however that was. That way, he was alive.
I told her I've had back problems, so when I say I understand the pain she's in, I'm not just saying it. Asked what needed to be done. Her eyes flitted from pile to pile as her hands floated over papers.
This was a woman who was overwhelmed. I shook my head. Never mind. What are you trying to do right now? Her hand rested on the papers to the left of her keyboard, and I glanced at them. Let me do the timesheets for you. Go home. Really.
She apologized to me. For not being able to communicate her thoughts. Was she kidding me? Her husband just died! I couldn't believe she was even at work.
Still talking, she says ice seems to help more than heat, that OTC drugs don't even touch the pain. She switches back and forth between talking about the pain in her back and her recently deceased husband.
I went back to my desk, sat down, and made sure I wasn't going to cry. She won't be back for the rest of the week. At her desk there is a paper with all the hospice contact information. I wonder how long it will take her to to throw it out.
Just wanted to add that the woman in mourning did not manage to leave until well after 4pm. The partner she works for - the one who asked me to fetch her a double espresso the first morning I covered for her - asked her to fetch her a late lunch. Balls of steel some people have. Balls. Of. STEEL.
The partner I was working with ran me crazy. At one point I almost cried from the stress. But the feedback I got was that she liked me. Thought I did a good job. And I moved on to the next desk...
Today I got an e-mail saying that partner needed help - was I very busy? Why yes, I was very busy. Updating my Twitter status and playing on Facebook. So I went over to the desk of the secretary who works for that partner. I had never met her before.
She was on the phone, so I wandered over to file cabinets nearby to wait for her to finish. She mumbled, "Oh, hi Green." How did she know it was me?
When she hung up the phone I walked over to her. She looked awful. Really, awful. We chatted. I noticed she didn't answer when I asked "How are you?" Turns out her husband just died. That week she was out? She was spending with him.
Now she was having muscle spasms, horrible muscle spasms in her back. Needed to go home. I was standing over him, and I felt like I had to stay that way. From Sunday night to Friday night at 10. Even though it hurt. That it was so important that I stay like that. She seemed like she needed to talk, so I stood there. And listened. Of course she needed to stay like that, however that was. That way, he was alive.
I told her I've had back problems, so when I say I understand the pain she's in, I'm not just saying it. Asked what needed to be done. Her eyes flitted from pile to pile as her hands floated over papers.
This was a woman who was overwhelmed. I shook my head. Never mind. What are you trying to do right now? Her hand rested on the papers to the left of her keyboard, and I glanced at them. Let me do the timesheets for you. Go home. Really.
She apologized to me. For not being able to communicate her thoughts. Was she kidding me? Her husband just died! I couldn't believe she was even at work.
Still talking, she says ice seems to help more than heat, that OTC drugs don't even touch the pain. She switches back and forth between talking about the pain in her back and her recently deceased husband.
I went back to my desk, sat down, and made sure I wasn't going to cry. She won't be back for the rest of the week. At her desk there is a paper with all the hospice contact information. I wonder how long it will take her to to throw it out.
Just wanted to add that the woman in mourning did not manage to leave until well after 4pm. The partner she works for - the one who asked me to fetch her a double espresso the first morning I covered for her - asked her to fetch her a late lunch. Balls of steel some people have. Balls. Of. STEEL.
Labels: Work
posted by Green at 6/24/2008 09:27:00 PM
4 Comments:
That is so sad. That poor woman. What is she doing at work? It sounds like she might be the kind of person who is such a perfectionist that she pushes herself too hard to the point of hurting herself which is why she felt she needed to stand over her husband like that (Im assuming at the funeral and wake?) and that's why she decided to come straight back to work. That poor thing. I can't even imagine if my husband died, much less trying to do time sheets a couple days afterwards.
:( So sad.
Oh... wow. I am glad you were there to offer her some comfort.
And wow... WHAT? Um... grieving widow... not... told... to... fetch... ANYTHING. Can't. Form. Sentence. Too. Appalled.
Yeah. Balls of something, that's for sure.
My guess is that she came to work for fear of being gone any longer than required due to that wench of a boss. What a horrible person to work for. I wish her peace.
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