Fucking Yoga: Back on the Scene, Crispy and Clean

Yes, I went back to yoga tonight, after not going for an inappropriate amount of time. I could tell you I didn't go because I had my period, but that doesn't account for the other two weeks. But in my quest to do one fun thing or one productive thing today, I went a little overboard on both, and that's how I found myself at fucking yoga. I felt awkward going there, after not having gone for so long, but they just smiled and said hi. Hi! So there I was at yoga.

Where I got a very nice surprise. A guy so hot it should be illegal was doing yogi teacher training tonight along with the regular guy. Hottie was from the Netherlands and had an awesome accent to go along with the body so gorgeous I wanted to lick it. Because he was just that beautiful. Excuse me while I take a personal moment...

Ahem. Yes, so yoga. There's this thing called your drishti that you're supposed to focus on while you're yogging. It's a place within yourself where you take your mind to focus. Or something like that. It goes in the category of Shit I Learn and Then Ignore At Yoga. Like breathing.

Having not yogged in a while, I thought that today I'd be way behind where I left off, but happily, I wasn't. I picked a bad mat though, and my hands kept sliding when I was downward dogging. I didn't mind too much though, since I had the strength to support myself. Guess all those random push-ups I do every so often just to check if I can really are paying off. I should totally lose some weight. Beneath the fat I have the cutest little muscles from fucking yoga.

When it's naptime, you're supposed to lay on your back, close your eyes, and kind of ... let all the yoga stuff you just did set in. You're not even supposed to do the special yoga breathing. The girl next to me sneezed really loudly during naptime, and I had to resist the urge to shush her. Even though I don't zone out, I get irrationally pissed off when people make noise during naptime.

There's a specific way you're supposed to place your body during naptime that I don't do. Not really on purpose, it's just that it's so unnatural for me, and laying down is supposed to be relaxing. The Yogiis went around "fixing" everyone - I'm not the only one who has this issue. Luckily Hottie fixed me. His hands were very callused, and it made me wonder what he did before taking up yoga. Some Yogis just place my arms and legs where they're supposed to be, and some do a very mini-massage as they're doing their proper placement. Hottie did the massage, and it took all my self control to not yell, "MORE! I want MORE! STAYYYYY!" when he moved on to the sneezer.

After yoga I went straight home and shared a peach with Trixie while I convinced her she's got to get her ass to yoga tout de suite to check out Hottie before he goes back to the Netherlands. Or maybe it was a nectarine. I always confuse the two. Whatever it was, it was damn good.