Who Died?
My father called me from New York at 7:30 am (PST) today. Just to chat. See what's going on. Let me know he responded to an e-mail I sent him. Nothing big going on. SO WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT CALL HAVE TO HAPPEN AT SEVEN FUCKING THIRTY IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY?! I was even rude enough to ask my father why he was calling so early and he said he thought I'd said it was okay (why would I say that's okay?!). Plus, there have been times I've called him that early so he figured it was okay. Yeah, I did that twice. I told him it's really a bit too early for my taste. He was cool about it, and he asked when a better time would be for me, and I said any time after 9am is just fine.
Even with his explanations, I still don't understand what would possess a person to call someone so early unless it was an emergency. It is not unusual for my parents or grandfather to call me so early, despite the fact that I have never told them to do so. I have told them they've woken me up when they have. I've ever gone so far as to tell my grandpa "Call me after you finish lunch - by then, I'm awake" because I know he's old and gets a little confused with the time difference. Really, even if I'm awake before 9am (which I almost always am) or after 11pm (which I usually am) sometimes it's nice to not talk. From now on, if you call me before 9am or after 11pm, I want to hear that someone's DIED. That's right. Someone better be fucking DEAD for you to call me outside of that 14 hour range. I want to hear that someone's leg got sawed off by a weedwacker, your hair got stuck in a ceiling fan and you've been twirling around for six hours, a hand got sucked down the garbage disposal... it better be big, and it better be good.
*You may ask why I don't just let the calls go to voice mail. It's because I'd rather not have to call them back. If I call back, they assume I've called at a time when I've got nothing better to do than talk, and my mother will keep me on the phone for ages, even asking me to hold on while she gets in screaming fights with my father, goes to the bathroom (who am I kidding, she forces me to talk to her during that), cuts veggies for her lunch, ties her shoes, etc. Plus, if the call is going to voice mai, the ring has already woken me up. You may ask why I don't just turn off my phone so I won't hear the ringing, and it's because we seem to have quite a number of real emergencies, and everyone knows I'm the person to go to during them, since it's my specialty.
Even with his explanations, I still don't understand what would possess a person to call someone so early unless it was an emergency. It is not unusual for my parents or grandfather to call me so early, despite the fact that I have never told them to do so. I have told them they've woken me up when they have. I've ever gone so far as to tell my grandpa "Call me after you finish lunch - by then, I'm awake" because I know he's old and gets a little confused with the time difference. Really, even if I'm awake before 9am (which I almost always am) or after 11pm (which I usually am) sometimes it's nice to not talk. From now on, if you call me before 9am or after 11pm, I want to hear that someone's DIED. That's right. Someone better be fucking DEAD for you to call me outside of that 14 hour range. I want to hear that someone's leg got sawed off by a weedwacker, your hair got stuck in a ceiling fan and you've been twirling around for six hours, a hand got sucked down the garbage disposal... it better be big, and it better be good.
*You may ask why I don't just let the calls go to voice mail. It's because I'd rather not have to call them back. If I call back, they assume I've called at a time when I've got nothing better to do than talk, and my mother will keep me on the phone for ages, even asking me to hold on while she gets in screaming fights with my father, goes to the bathroom (who am I kidding, she forces me to talk to her during that), cuts veggies for her lunch, ties her shoes, etc. Plus, if the call is going to voice mai, the ring has already woken me up. You may ask why I don't just turn off my phone so I won't hear the ringing, and it's because we seem to have quite a number of real emergencies, and everyone knows I'm the person to go to during them, since it's my specialty.
posted by Green at 8/20/2005 05:19:00 PM
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