A Special Snowflake Encounter

(tonight, on a very special Blossom...)

It was only a few months ago that I learned the term special snowflake. In the way I've heard it used, it basically is defined as a parent who thinks their child is more precious and delicate and unique than all the others. So even though the word "snowflake" is talking about the child, the term is actually an insult to the parent of that child.

Today I ran across such a parent. I was on the F-Market train. It was raining. A woman got on with her two kids. One toddler, one preschooler. She apparently wanted to give her children the full San Francisco experience, complete with letting the boy put his money into the machine. There were people behind her. She was blocking the entire entrance on to the train. Of course her son dropped the money she'd given him. Of course he was too short to see what he was doing and she had to lift him up.

I was sitting on the bench, iPod on, watching this happen. Looking at all the people standing in the rain, waiting for her. I wondered if she'd whip out a camera and say, "Parker, look at me and smile!" to the boy.

Finally the boy got his money inserted correctly. He did not seem at all excited about his experience. Everyone behind them quickly boarded, I heard the driver call out, "Hold on!" and a second later we lurched forward. The woman sat down right next to me (oh goody!) and pulled her daughter onto one leg. She was holding her son's sleeve and about to pull him over to sit on her other side when an older woman took that space (it's just a long bench).

The special snowflake mother glared at the woman and pulled her son onto her lap to sit on her other leg. "I'm sorry you don't get your own seat." He didn't care - he was busy inspecting the transfer ticket he'd gotten after putting in his money.

More people got on at the next stop. Now the train is starting to fill up. The nature of mass transit in a city is that people will brush up against you, step on your feet, and in general, invade your space. If you can't deal with that, get out and walk.

It's rush hour. People have bags and umbrellas and are standing and changing their positions to have better traction. A woman with a cane gets on the bus, stands in front of the mother. The mother acts (or is) flustered and gestures at nothing.

I say, "Here," and scoot down on the bench, putting three feet between us, so the woman with the cane can sit, and can do it quickly, before the train starts moving again. She has to take one step, then turn, then plant her ass. As she takes her one step forward, the mother takes her child and plops him on the seat next to her. In the space I just made for the handicapped woman.

The woman looks at me. She can have my seat. My arthritis woke me up at 4:15 a.m. but my legs are working. I stand up, turn, and reach my hand out for her. She is holding on to the pole and is scared to let go while the train is moving. I am so pissed off that I lean towards the mother.

"Hey, can you move down so she can sit?" The boy looks up at me, looks at the woman with the cane, the bench, and starts to move over so there will be space right in front of the woman. His mother stops him. "We were here first," she tells me.

Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY?! Even her four year old can see what the right thing to do is in this situation. The woman with the cane pats my hand. "It's alright, dear." No. Actually it's not alright. It's not alright at all.

I don't dispute that the special snowflake mother was there first. I have taken kids on trains before. I've even done it when there are no seats at all. You can hold the kid in one arm while holding on with the other, or you can have the kid stand between your legs and tell them to hug you tightly. Both work just fine.

I wasn't even asking this woman to try to stand on a moving train while keeping two kids from falling. There was space for her and her special snowflakes to continue sitting. I just wanted to let the handicapped woman sit.

Then the train stops and we are all told to get off - that there's some sort of problem up ahead and everyone must either go underground to take MUNI or wait for a regular bus that is coming up behind us.

So I get off the train, and stand on the little traffic island, waiting for the bus that I can clearly see coming up the street. Can ya guess who's last off the train? Special Snowflake and her kids finally exit the train and stand next to me. As I walk around her to get to the bus, I overhear her telling her kids, "We don't have to go on the bus."

Yes, because you're special. Hope you enjoyed waiting on Market Street in the rain during rush hour to get that taxi.