The Intellectual Hipster
She is vegan, rides her track bike everywhere, recycles her tampons, doesn't dry her hands after washing them so as to not waste any paper ... you get the idea. IH volunteers to distribute reading material on Tibetan culture to prisoners. She claims to never eat anything that she can't see nutritional value in. When the man who empties garbages comes around at 5:30pm, IH always speaks in her phonily perky Spanish to him. She never goes to lunch on time or leaves at the end of the day on time in order to imply to everyone who might be paying attention that she is just so busy and just so important and just so dedicated to the job that she can't possibly find a way to finish at 5pm. She likes to think she's perfect.
IH never wears a watch and is never on time. Ever. For anything. Including work. She is a klutz, and forever trips. She falls over on her bike about once every two weeks. Any time someone does something IH thinks is dumb, she uses the phrase "It just boggles my mind as to how you could possibly..." She argues with the attorneys we work for. Her boyfriend (a bike messenger) works in the same building we do, and any time IH wants him to do something like bring her lunch, she reminds him that she does all the dishes at home.
It's going to be a long fall off that pedestal.